so. awkward.

so, have you ever been in one of those super awkward conversations where you clearly have nothing in common with the other person and you can't think of a darn thing to say, so you're all like, 'i can't wait for the weather to get warmer... also, i like milk.  do you like milk?  did you drink a lot of milk growing up?  you look like you have strong bones, so i bet you did.  is bone health important to you?'  and on and on until you both want to die?

this is a blog post like that conversation.  i have no idea what to say to you, so i'm just going to say some stuff and hope that it comes out all smooth and suave and like i have it all together.  likely that won't happen, so i'll shoot for the next best thing, which is to write a blog post awkward enough that we'll both feel like we're winning just to be done with it.

when i was little, i wanted to grow up to look like kelly from 'married with children.'  yeah, the super slutty one.  i thought she was totally gorg, and who cares if she's dumb, i wanted to grow up to have big boobs and platinum blonde hair.  clearly i've fulfilled all my childhood dreams.

also, when i was like six, i wrote 'when i'm sixteen i want to be a cheerleader' on a piece of paper.  (actually, it probably said, 'wen im 16 i want to be a cherledr.'  because six year olds can be dumb.)  then i stuck that paper in my backpack, which i promptly put in the toy room closet and began calling my 'time capsule.'  then monday rolled around again, and it again became just an ordinary backpack with a slip of paper in it.  i never became a cheerleader, and i suspect it was because i never took the time to find a proper time capsule that didn't have to be opened again so soon.  like an oatmeal container.

okay, one more.  i once filled a ziplock baggie with water and stuck it under the dresser in the bathroom and called it my 'experiment.'  i'm not sure what i was expecting to have happen, but all that ended up coming of it was that my mom found it before it morphed into not-water (or whatever i had hypothesized would happen) and she dumped it down the sink.  anticlimactic.  i wonder what would have become of it had it been left long enough.

we both survived that blog post!!!!!!!!!!!  that was only slightly less painful than this conversation with the girl you wish you hadn't started a conversation with at a party.

1 comment :

todd said...

while she may not be someone i want to talk to, it is fun watching other people talk to her.