what's up weekly: two weeks of life with the twins. (my perspective)

If you missed it, I posted the babies' birth story yesterday - click here to read!

Whoa.  Tomorrow will mark two weeks since the twins were born.  Time is so bizarre.

It has been a full and also not full two weeks.  Lots of snuggling, lots of nursing, and lots of very little else.  At least for me.  Todd and the kids have been living on a parallel track, so they have more news to share than I do.  I'll make a separate post for their shenanigans.

The first couple of days at home with the babies were good but a bit challenging.  While they were sleepy, and therefore easier on me, Brother had a poor latch that was really painful and made nursing him really challenging.  On their third day, my midwife returned to check on us, and brought a lactation consultant.  Nursing is still sometimes more complicated with him, but she gave me some really great strategies to help him latch better.

Everyone with multiples of their own has been suggesting I feed them at the same time (tandem nurse) to save myself some time (at first, they were each taking about 40 minutes to eat, which left very little time at the end of a two-hour schedule to do basic things like go to the bathroom).  The truth is, I'm still trying to get the hang of just feeding one at a time with these latch issues, so I haven't even attempted it yet (with the exception of one failed, desperate, exhausted attempt in which one of the babies rolled off the nursing pillow).  They currently take much less time than they had been (15-30 minutes each), so it's working for us right now for me to feed one, then immediately feed the other, waking them up if I need to to minimize chaos. 

Night sleeping is going pretty well at the moment (knock on wood).  The first few nights were rough, and I needed a lot of help from Todd.  The second night, the babies rotated feedings constantly for six hours - Todd took one fussy baby to hold, while I fed the other baby, and once the nursing baby was done, we'd switch.  Finally we just embraced reality, turned on Frasier, and binge watched episodes while I nursed until the babies eventually went to sleep around 5:30 a.m.  I got up around 9:00 to give the kids instructions to just pretend they were the Boxcar children ("You've been orphaned for the day.  Forage for food; find meaningful and productive work to put your hand to; keep each other alive") but by the time I got out to check on them, they had already made and served breakfast, gotten Oey up and changed her, started a load of laundry, and folded another load.  Well.  Apparently my job here is done and my children are already very comfortable with Boxcarring.  So I went back to bed for a bit.

Since then, sleep has been a bit easier at night.  The babies will go 3-4 hour stretches at night.  After one wakes up and I feed them, I automatically wake up the other.  It takes me about an hour per feeding at night.

Brother has had jaundice, which makes him very sleepy and less likely to wake himself up to eat.  Luckily, Sister is not so laid back and keeps them both on schedule.  They're a good pair.

Every morning for breakfast, Todd or Penelope brings me breakfast in bed: an egg, some bacon, and some chocolate milk.  For lunch, Todd has been making me a steak and a baked potato.  Gotta fuel to win.

A couple days ago, they may have hit that two-week growth spurt a little early (or they added an extra and I have another one looming) - they spent all day awake and eating constantly.  But the next day they slept a lot and seem to be mostly back on track, though more willing to stay awake after feedings instead of falling asleep right away.  It's hard with twins, because you don't necessarily have the time to stop to help them get back to sleep immediately after feeding, because you need your hands free to nurse the other one.

Todd measured the babies' length: they were both exactly 20 inches.

My mom and stepdad came last weekend to visit and meet the babies!  My mom also did some fun activities with the kids, so I'll cover that in the next post.

Sun and fresh air out on the deck for a few minutes while the babies were asleep.

On Memorial Day, my sister's family came down to visit and meet the babies, and to help around the house.  They cleaned the kitchen, helped me organize the freezers, and hung out with the kids while I napped and Todd took a walk.

That same day, the babies and I had a postpartum chiropractic adjustment.  My midwife's husband is a chiropractor with a portable table, PRAISE THE LORD.  He was so kind to drive up to see us.

Quite the audience.

Brother's jaundice is clearing up, but to give it a boost out the door, we took the babies outside for a little sun bathing.  (It's hard to see in these photos, but their faces were in the shade.)

I have been healing well!  There has been very little bleeding this time around compared to most of my previous babies.  I think it has to do with how slowly I delivered the placentas - my midwife gave me time to just gently let it detach instead of forcing it or hurrying it in any way, and the difference in recovery has been really remarkable.  

I have been trying to get plenty of protein and water in each day, and I'm really grateful Todd and the kids have helped me stay on top of that.

I have also been resting a lot and napping when I can (which has been harder the last few days with the twins being more awake and eating more often, but I still have gotten a nap in the majority of the days).  I still get tired out easily, and I've noticed I am much more sensitive to feeling stressed or anxious when there is a lot of activity happening around me.  But I do feel like I am doing really well physically at this point.

Two weeks down, a lifetime to go!

the babies' birth story.

My last blog post posted Friday morning of last week, and a few things have happened since then, so let me fill you in on a little of what has been going on!

That same Friday morning, the 17th, I started what ended up being false labor.  I woke up about 3:30 in the morning to some strong contractions.  I got up to use the restroom and came back to lay down, and they kept rolling in strong about every fifteen minutes.  I got up about 5:30 to move around and pick up the house, and they sped up to every five minutes, but got a lot weaker.  I texted my midwife and she suggested eating something and trying to sleep to see what would happen, and by the time I woke up again a little after 8:00, they had died out to nothing.  (I think I freaked Atticus out a bit, because when he got up to get ready for work I was already up and around, and told him why, but he didn't hear any news until he got home from work in the evening!)

So Friday ended up being intensely normal - I went to Walmart to pick up a grocery order in the morning, I dropped a few things off at Goodwill.  You know.  Normal life.

On Saturday the 18th, the morning started similarly.  I woke up around six with contractions that were far apart, but regular and strong.  About 7:00 I texted my midwife, apologizing for the deja vu, but that this was happening again, only this time the contractions got stronger once I got up and ate something.  By the time I texted, they were every five minutes apart.  Since Carolyn had over an hour to drive, I asked her to start making her way here.  Todd started prepping the pool with hot water so that it would be ready when we needed it.

I thought this ball was fully inflated.  Looking at this photo, either I was wrong or I weighed a lot more than I thought.  That thing is just a pancake.

Covered with a blanket to keep the heat in until I was ready to get in.

Carolyn got here around midmorning, and contractions were still coming.  Until... they weren't. By probably around 10:30, they were very infrequent and varied in intensity.  My water still hadn't broken, which was unusual for a typical labor.  I was feeling so conflicted about what to do - do I tell her I think it may have been another false alarm and have her go home?  Do I ask her to stay, mentally trying to force something that isn't going to happen?  And if it picks back up, how will I know it's real labor in time to have her come back, without second guessing myself?  Ugh.  I've had labor like that in the past, and it really shakes your confidence.

Around lunchtime, Todd ran out to pick up some lunch for us, and while he was gone, Carolyn seemed like she was thinking labor had stalled out and that it might play this game with me another time or two before labor began in earnest.  She was reassuring me it would be okay if it yo-yoed a bit, and that she would be available for whatever I needed, whenever it happened.  I had one stronger contraction during this time, and then right around the time Todd got home, I had a major one that kind of turned the corner on things.

Suddenly, all I wanted to do was sit in the birth pool and eat my burger.  It sounded crazy at the time, since just minutes before I hadn't even been sure I was in labor, and now I wanted to get in the pool, but I think I knew something had changed.  So Carolyn and Todd finished filling the pool for me, and then changed the sheets on the bed while I got in.  We chatted, we ate lunch, and the contractions started rolling back in again.  

Eventually things got harder.  I had Todd turn on some music so I had something to focus on.  The water started feeling slimy.  I got a nosebleed.  I remember feeling like responding to anything took too much work - all I could think about was getting through it.  I got to a point where I felt a little pushy, so I tried pushing a little, but I didn't even have the energy to tell them I was getting ready.  I just kind of pushed and felt my water break.

The second time I pushed, I gave it everything I had, and was shocked to feel the baby come out all at once - head and shoulders both through with the same push!  But I had been on my hands and knees, leaning on the side of the pool, and so I was turned away from the baby and couldn't see.  I remember asking about the gender a couple of times but being surprised that moving around to see was surprisingly hard.  The cord was short, so there was already very limited range of motion, but I also felt like my body was not relaxed yet.  

This is where things get pretty foggy for me, so I might be remembering things a little out of order.  I know the kids came running in- they must have heard that final push - and they saw him and we got to tell them it was a boy!  His cord was super short, so he was only able to lay on my stomach, and Todd started bailing water out of the pool with a bucket to lower the water level because I was so tired and really worried I was going to let the baby's face fall in the water by accident.  After the kids "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed for a little while, we had them head out of the room so I could finish delivery and get in bed.

The kids watched Nut Job while they waited around.

It came time to deliver the placenta, which would give me more cord length to work with so I could move the baby to my chest, so Carolyn said to bear down whenever I had a contraction.  I did, and gradually I was gaining a few inches of cord each time, but I couldn't figure out why delivering the placenta was hurting so badly and there felt like there was so much resistance.  It's never pleasant, but it isn't usually difficult like that.

I remember looking down in the water as I gave the final push and seeing something white and feeling confused.  I asked a couple of times if it was the placenta, because I was at least coherent enough to feel like it was the wrong color for a placenta but I wasn't sure what was happening.  And then Carolyn lifted it up to me to see, and it looked like another baby!  But that couldn't be right...

I looked at Todd and he was smiling and saying, "It's two babies!  It's two babies!"  I really didn't understand right at first but it started to dawn on me that he was trying to tell me it was two babies or something...!  Even my midwife was needing a moment to process - Todd was the first one of all three of us to realize the truth!  

I got out of the tub and moved to the bed to cuddle them and rest while I waited for the placenta(s!) to come, which took a long time.  I learned that fraternal placentas, while there are two of them, most often fuse together, so they deliver like one, but have to detach from a surface area that's twice the size of a single.  It took about two hours before they were totally detached and ready to deliver, and I was so tired the whole time, and dreading another delivery.  Somewhere in there Todd cut the babies' cords so I had better range of motion and felt less anxious about feeling so closely tied to them while I still needed to move around.  And then, the Lord in his kindness gave me such a sweet gift in not having to push at all to deliver the placenta.  It literally just came out, and the anxiety of that last delivery was completely gone and I was free to relax and snuggle the babies.

That's when we called the kids back in to get better acquainted with their new brother... and surprised them with their bonus baby!  Oh, it was such a magical moment to see their faces when they discovered the surprise. Like, who else on earth gets to witness someone experiencing being surprised like that?!

The whole day was strange, but full of the best surprises and the kindness of God in answered prayers.  I had prayed for a linear, easier-than-it-has-to-be birth, and for a twin birth at home, I would say I got what I asked for!  It was about nine hours from when it began to when the babies were out (plus an additional two for the placentas).  They were positioned beautifully - neither was breech or lying funny in a way that impeded labor.  The boy's cord was short and wrapped around his neck, the girl was born completely in her sac still (which is why she looked white and strange when she came out) and yet everyone easily pivoted and navigated each step of the way, and it was just perfect.

Mr. Baby weighed 7 lb 2 oz

Miss Baby weighed 7 lb 0 oz

Because I was only expecting one baby, I didn't have two "first outfits" on hand.  But I did have two of the same pairs of pants, two white onesies, and the headband and hat from the single, gender neutral "first outfit" I bought.  (It came with both a hat and a headband.)  It worked!

I told Todd that if I had it to do all over again, I don't know that I would change much of anything.  I'm grateful I didn't know it was twins in advance, and that everything went so smoothly.  And now they're here!  Now, we just need to finally decide on their names...

what's up weekly. (39 weeks pregnant and trying not to think about it too much.)

Alright, folks.  Six more days to my due date.  My last three babies have all come a couple days early, so it could be any day now.  But some of my others have been late, so I could still have a week or two to go.  Trying to guess is all a crapshoot at this point, but I can tell you we're in the final stretch and yes, I'm ready.

I currently don't feel panicked or desperate.  I am definitely exhausted, definitely in pain and discomfort, but mentally I'm okay with things as they are right now.  It was helpful to meet with my midwife this week.  I told her I'm mainly nervous about things going dramatically differently than they have in the past, or being especially painful.  I just want a labor that goes from Point A to Point B with as few hiccups as possible, and at a good pace - not too fast, not too slow.  She walked me through a few things I can be focusing on to help that happen (chiropractic care, good nutrition, making sure the baby is in a good position).  She said the baby is in a great position, and is so low that she doubts he/she could move out of it if they wanted to - they're locked in really low.  (Tell me about it.)  She said from the fullness/feel of my stomach, my due date is probably a pretty accurate estimate, so I'm assuming I probably have until sometime next week?  Who knows?  I appreciate her skill and experience to be able to even gauge things like that, and it really did put my mind at ease, but I suppose no one has a crystal ball.

Other than that, this week has been filled with a mix of manic projects to help me keep my mind off of waiting, and then naps and couch days because I really shouldn't be overdoing it and I pay for it later.  It's a vicious cycle, but it's working for me.

Okay, so what have we been filling out time with?  It has been raining so much lately, and everything is growing like mad.  I should have taken photos of my potato beds to show you: they're so jungly already.  The grass is also going nuts, which means Atticus has been needing to mow a lot for his clients, but because everything is constantly wet, it's been hard to find windows.  Luckily, he was able to find a few times that allowed him to get everyone's yards done... except ours.  And of course, this is on the heels of having recently fertilized (or, really, having overseen the kids fertilize), so everything is lush-bordering-on-wild.  BUT! Our grass is actually filling in and taking back ground from the weeds and bare patches, so I have no cause for complaint.  Yard improvement is such a slow process, so it's nice to see progress!

It's just some organic fertilizer, and iron and calcium; I didn't have the kids spread chemicals.

What else did we do this week?  The girls did some baking and hosted a tea party amongst themselves. (Callista also invited Atticus, who was so sweet about it - he accepted the invite, drank his tea and ate his cookie, and kept complimenting Callista on how elegant the party was and how pretty she looked in her princess dress.)  Atticus customized the paint job on his gun, and it looks really cool.  Todd took the boys to a military surplus/artifacts store and they each got some cool gear.  I showed the big kids how to deep clean the bathrooms and change the sheets, and I will be showing them how to deep clean the kitchen tomorrow.  (Not as fun for them as the preceding line items.)  I cleaned out the food room, started cleaning out the storage room, did a freezer inventory, and finished up switching out school books we already have.  (I will order the big kids' books later in the summer, but everyone else's are out and organized, and last year's books put away.)  And Todd and the boys went grocery shopping at Aldi for me, which was a huuuuuuuuuge blessing.

Today, I'm hoping to run a few errands - Home Depot to get flowers for the girls' planters, a Walmart pickup, the post office, Goodwill.  Then in the afternoon, my chiropractor is coming to adjust me.  (So obviously Saturday will be a nap-and-couch day, because even I can see my plans are stupidly ambitious.)  Todd has the afternoon off of work, so we'll see what he ends up tackling during that time as well.

And that was our week.  It really wasn't much happening, it was just a lot of busy projects interspersed with all-out lethargy (I am at the point in pregnancy where I wake up absolutely covered in drool because a) I'm so exhausted I just pass out and b) Pregnancy Sinuses make it impossible for me to breathe through my nose.  The amount of drool I've produced this week is downright ungodly.)  

Please be praying that today's chiropractor appointment would help with my current pain and overall alignment, and especially that labor would go smoothly!

what's up weekly. (break, glorious break!)

Well, friends, the second week of break is under our belts and I have to say I'm loving it.  I'm so grateful we were able to get done with school quickly so that I would have this time to prep for the arrival of the baby and get a few last minute projects taken care of before I'm out of commission for a few months.

The big kids still had some work on their final writing assignments, and Atticus still had a few reading assignments left, so we weren't totally out of the woods, but they finished those up and now we are completely done!  I started putting away our school books this week and switching them out for next year's books, and if I have time next week while I wait for the baby's arrival, I'd like to work on getting their work organized to put in their portfolios, along with ordering photos from the year to put in.

Should I put in all the photos of their face paint shenanigans?

  

(When we lived in Missouri, state law required us to keep a portfolio for each student with examples and proof of their work, so I used it as an opportunity to make a kind of scrapbook for each kid for each year.  Now that we're in Kansas, it's not required, but it's worth keeping up with.  The kids love to look through past records of their work, and the photos of themselves playing and creating and reading and working.  I'm grateful for the process kind of being foisted on me for so many years so that it became an expectation.)

Anyway.  We tried to get some housework done - I had the kids deep clean their rooms, and I switched out some of the toys now that nice weather is here and we don't need quite the same number of indoor options available.  Legos and a lot of the dress up got put away, and closets got organized.  The big girls are getting really excited to move into their new room and to have a closet of their own that they don't share with the littler girls.  I can understand that. 

And speaking of the new room, we made more progress in there.  I keep having to tell the kids, "One step at a time!" with this project: we're making slow but consistent progress; it's just that these things aren't done in a day!  So Atticus helped me assemble the bed frame and move the mattresses around.

We'll be tackling a trundle situation, better lighting, more furniture, some curtains and art on the walls.  But we're getting there!

I think we're going to need to make a very, very low profile trundle for Lolo's mattress using furniture sliders, as well as use bed risers to get Penelope's bed frame up off the floor a little higher.  Still troubleshooting that.  But my sister and brother-in-law came down yesterday for the afternoon, and hung a curtain rod and installed a couple of wall lamps, so the room has come even farther since this photo was taken.  One step at a time.

A major milestone that took place this week was that I took Penelope to the DMV for her permit test, and she passed!  She looked so confused when she stood up from the computer - I asked if she had passed and she said she didn't know!  She had gotten exactly the required number of questions correct, but because it was so borderline, she was a little disoriented.  She took a while to really start realizing she had actually passed!

Displaying her temporary (VERY temporary, obviously) permit.

Atticus had a lot of mowing jobs this week, so I spent most of my Wednesday trucking him around town for those.  I actually kind of like the opportunity to sit in the sun and read, or to chat with friends, while he mows.  He'll also be at work on the farm all day today and tomorrow, so he's working hard, filling his schedule, and making good money.  It's a good season for him!  He spent some of his Christmas money and work earnings on some airsoft gear this week, but otherwise has been doing a great job of saving most of what he makes for things like a truck, trade school tuition, business expenses and investing.  I have an adult on my hands.

Look at his watch tan line! And it's only early May! 

And just to prove our house is just chock full of adults, here is Rocco at OFFICIALLY eight-and-a-half.  Everyone grows up too quickly.  I have a bone to pick about this.

Like I mentioned above, my sister and brother-in-law came down for the afternoon yesterday and helped me tackle a few projects.  Besides the indoor projects I already mentioned, Austin brought some yard tools that I don't have, so he taught the boys how to use the blower to clean out the rock beds, and also set them to powerwashing the back patio.  GLORY.  I love having a clean yard (though I realize it's too much to expect regularly in this season of life).  Then Austin drove some of the kids to the yard waste site to gather compost for a few more projects: Lolo and Callista are going to plant their own gardens in some big planters I found on sale, and I need to switch out the dirt in Stumpi's cage.

I'm really feeling the urge to get random jobs like these finished in the next week or so, so it was so nice to have help getting a handle on these things.  On next week's agenda are a few training opportunities for household jobs the kids will need to take over during postpartum, organizing the food and storage rooms, helping the kids clean out their cubbies, possibly getting the kids signed up for swimming lessons, and taking the boys on an outing to the local military surplus store.  Seems doable at Giant Pregnant, right?!

And speaking of the pregnancy, I am now 38 weeks and ready anytime.  My midwife had been unavailable last week, and I was still missing quite a few supplies, but all that is resolved now.  She came to see me on Monday, told me the baby is in a great position for labor (I had been pretty worried), and from measuring she thinks my due date is a pretty reasonable expectation to continue to hold.  She had a new birth pool sent directly to the house, so it arrived yesterday and once Todd experiments with getting it blown up and making sure the hose hooks up to our shower, we will be set and ready to go whenever.  At least, all the ducks will be in a row.  Is anyone truly ready to HAVE A BABY?!!!

I am ready to be done with pregnancy, but I'm not convinced I'm ready for labor or for newborning.   But I honestly feel less anxiety about it than I have with previous pregnancies; I think my strategy this time is "don't think about it until I have to."  So that's what I'm doing and it seems to be working out okay so far!  Maybe I'll regret it when the day comes and I'll wish I had planned ahead better, but I'm pretty committed to my choices at this point, so we'll see how it goes.

BUT.  We haven't done no planning.  Todd got seats moved around in the van and the baby seat installed.  He put the very back van seat back in, since it seats an extra person, but then we lost all our trunk space.  So then he removed the first bench seat so we gained cargo space in the main area of the van.  I think it will take some getting used to, but I also see certain advantages to it.  The "loading dock" aspect comes to mind - everyone can get in and then file to their seats instead of standing in the parking lot while they wait.  I can also see definite advantages for vacation travel.  So it should be a fun change!

Baby seat ready to go!!

And beyond that, I would just like to mention that we ate really well this week.  First, our Sabbath dinner was especially pretty if I do say so myself.  

Our Ascension Day feast was especially fun - we had guests, so we broke out the beautiful, extra-long charcuterie board that Austin made for me, and Todd read poetry and we all sang hymns, and it was just wonderful.

And lastly, Todd surprised me with a date night on Wednesday, and we tried out a new place in town - it was AMAZING.  It has been a while since I've had a dinner that good.  It was nice to get out and hang out with Todd one-on-one, and have a bit of a breather from baby prep mentality.  

And that was our week!  And now we begin the countdown to the final days before baby comes!