the state fair

what is there to say about the fair? other than the fact that it is awesome and it was lauren's non-technical first time going, there's not much you can say. it is a wonderful deep-fat-fried place on a stick. not convinced? check. it. izzout.

the kid got to pet a rabbit.

and play 'laura ingalls.' (laurence ingalls, since he's a boy?)

and contemplate deep philosophical quandries.

todd got to take atticus on a giant slide.

lauren was CONVINCED that the state fair really is the rockin'est (next to old threshers).

we got to eat our fill of ice cream (or rather, feed our fill of ice cream to atticus)

penelope was not convinced the fair was the greatest thing ever. (or that clothes are necessary for a woman-about-town.)

we fed the animals.

we fed the animals.

and conked out after a fun day!

on a side note

every time i look at the left side of my blog page and see where it says, "a few more friendly faces," i always think it says "a few more friendly feces." 

and with two kids in diapers, it's not that i don't have my share of friendly feces to deal with every day, but it's not really the idea i'm trying to get any suggestions for a new title?  the only stipulation is that it should not have anything to do with excrement.

(ironically, the name of the same list used to be "crap we like.")


see this little beaut?  let me tell you about what's found inside this bottle: it contains nutrients, minerals, and antioxidants your body needs.  it contains caratenoids that can help your eyesight and lower your risk of cancer.  it contains soluble fiber.  it imitates your stomach juices and helps with digestion and metabolism when taken before meals.  it is nearly the exact same pH as your skin, and is also antiseptic and antibacterial.  it is even used to clean operating rooms and equipment to help prevent infection in patients. it can be used to help treat arthritis.

also, it tastes like death. 

todd and i have each started drinking one teaspoon diluted in 8 oz of water, once in the morning and once before dinner.  i started drinking it with a teaspoon of honey mixed in to help temper the taste, but it just tasted like slightly sweetened death.  so i figured, why waste the honey?

instructions: pour yourself a glass of warm water.  don't be fooled into thinking that if you increase the amount of water, it won't taste as bad.  you're kidding yourself.  mix in 1 teaspoon of ACV (make sure it's organic - usually i don't care about organic vs. traditional foods, but it matters in this case - traditional ACV isn't made with the whole apple and the fermenting process has been shortened).

then, plug and chug.

as in, plug your nose, drink it as fast as you can and then drink it faster.  DO NOT under any circumstances unplug your nose before you have taken a few swallows of un-ACV-tainted water.  then grunt, shake your head around, stick out your tongue...whatever it takes to make the nasty taste bearable.   then wait a few hours and repeat.

this little health tip brought to you by auntie paige.

want to know what life is like on the inside?

welcome to our new segment, "how we roll."

paige: i just don't think i can watch much more of "24."  my heart can't take it.  you'll be a widower at the hands of jack bauer.

todd: there are worse ways you could go.

and that's how we roll.

it was like an episode of i love lucy.

i love my husband and my husband loves cookies. that is how the whole butter-baking soda fiasco started.  being the grade-A, high-quality wife that i (humbly) am, i decided to make him some.  (and to fool us both into thinking we were doing our bodies any favors by eating them, of course i made them with whole and unbleached flours, raw sugar, free-range eggs and the best chocolate chips money can buy.)

as per my bakery-mentor's instructions, the key to a great cookie is to fully melt the butter, mix it all up, then refrigerate until FULLY cooled.  so i did as i have many times before: stuck the butter in the microwave to liquify.  not thinking, i pulled out the bowl with my bare hands...and dropped the thing almost instantaneously.  it was so. hot. 

it spilled all over my stove top, all over my clothing, all over the floor and, worst, onto atticus' head.

apparently there IS use crying over spilled butter, which he did (no blaming him), although he wasn't burned; more scared than anything, i think.  once i calmed him, i stripped off my shirt and jeans and dumped baking soda onto the butter on my clothes, hoping the fat hadn't soaked in too badly and that i could salvage them.  i set them on the table and proceeded to clean up the stove and floor.  i turned back to grab my clothes to throw them in the washer...and dumped the baking soda everywhere.

it got stuck in the butter.

so i went to grab the mop, tracking oily baking soda dust across the carpet as i went, only to remember that i recently threw away the mop head a while back and hadn't yet replaced it.

so instead i grabbed a bucket and a couple of old sponges and mixed up some of my FAVORITE cleaner (seriously, this would be what they cleaned heaven with if heaven ever got dirty): a bunch of water, a glug of white vinegar, and some dishsoap added toward the end (so it doesn't get too sudsy).  i set atticus down to play in the water as i scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees.  while i had my back turned to him, he dumped about half the bucket on the carpet.

suddenly, there was a knock on the door.  still in my underwear, i looked through the peephole to see dani, who i had forgotten was coming over.  i had her wait in the hall while i threw on a robe - meanwhile, atticus slipped in the water and got a goose-egg on his head.

so dani came in, i put atticus in the bath, i threw on some real clothes....and all this happened over the course of about 20 minutes.  such is my life.

and, in case you were wondering, my clothes were ruined.  considering the jeans were hand-me-downs from a friend and the shirt cost 25 cents at a garage sale, i'm only out a quarter, but still. i don't have the ambition to dig around in the change cup at casey's for the cash for another outfit.

and also in case you were wondering, the cookies turned out to be DELICIOUS.  buy me some new jeans and i might consider making some for you.

slip slidin' away.

lucky for the aquatic center, it was built on high ground.

unlucky for the aquatic center, no one seems to need to pay entrance fees for a splashin' good time.

iowans in the sea, that is what we are...

hold up, wait a minute, put a little break in it.

i know i told you that you would get to hear the "behind the music: butter and baking soda" story this time, but it seems something more time-sensitive has come our way.  no worries, our regularly scheduled programming will resume soon.  however, it seems our town is flooded and, ironically, simultaneously out of water. 

yes, that's the pizza hut under water.  what good is a flood if you don't have pizza to enjoy it with? this flood officially sucks.

anyway,  because of all the water, something at the water treatment plant broke and now our drinking water has been labeled persona non grata.  so we get to pull a ma ingalls and boil all of our water before using it for most things: cooking, drinking, bathing, brushing our teeth, washing our dishes, washing our hands.  we're also not supposed to flush our toilets...presumably because it'll all wind up back by pizza hut.  mmmmmm.  the best part? they're projecting it could be like this for the next week.  not sure how i'm supposed to go about not flushing my toilets for a week...

already i have boiled COUNTLESS numbers of pots of water...i had no idea how much water we use! luckily we can still wash our clothes in the normal stuff because if we had to wait a week to wash our cloth diapers, the whole building would probably need to evacuate.  and lord love the ingalls family and "living off the land" and all those other things i pine for, but i refuse to wash my kid's crap pants with my hands.  maybe i'm a bad mom, i don't know.  but i'm a mom without fecal matter all over my hands, and that's okay with me. 

i have been using whatever i can get my hands on to store boiled water in: my dutch oven, our pitchers, my coffee pot, and old ice cream buckets. (note to anyone who cares: wait for water to cool completely before putting it in plastic, for melting and chemical reasons.) this morning i got a little impatient, put my too-hot water in my beautiful glass salad bowl too soon, and the whole thing shattered.  or really, exploded.  i was covered in boiling water, there were glass shards EVERYWHERE, and the whole stinking pot of water that i had spent time boiling was all over the floor.  luckily atticus was contained in his high chair at the time.  but i'm out a wedding present and a whole pot of water and some thigh skin.

anyway.  long post.  stay tuned and i'll give you helpful tips on how to live like a pioneer...who has access to contained electricity.  roughin' it.

i seriously can't make this stuff up.

as i type this, my kitchen floor is gleaming clean, my living room carpet is sopping wet, and both me and my child are in our skivvies and covered in butter and baking soda.  want to find out how compelling is my love for my husband as to find myself here?  tune in next time.

atticus got my sense of fashion.