'member that time?

hey, 'member that time my mom gave me a delicious peppermint, but we were outside and nowhere near a trash can, so i threw the wrapper on the ground?  and 'member how, after taking exactly seven steps away from it, i couldn't contain my littering guilt any longer and ran back to pick it up?

i bet if i was orphaned at the age of seven, al gore would've been willing to adopt me because of the environmental initiative i showed from such a young age.  and i could write a 'member that time about that one time i was adopted by al gore.

write your own 'member that time' and link up!

totally and completely random

first, has anyone ever pushed the handicapped button next to the word verification for posting comments? i swear that's what it sounds like to be schizophrenic.  it's like a punishment for being handicapped or something.  i don't even know what purpose it's supposed to serve, other than totally freaking you out and making you think aliens are coming for you.

also, the tabs i currently have open on my browsing window are as follows:  a health article about the hygeine benefits of a bidet, a video tutorial on making your own mayo, a friend's blog, and an hgtv kitchen redo by genevieve gorder.  i would say that sums up probably 95% of my time on the internet.

i guess we're grown ups now.

there's no easy way to say this, so i'll just come out with it.

todd and i bought a house.  a big, beautiful, old-timey van voorst house.  with hardwood floors.  and chandeliers.  and a garage attached to it.  (classy, i know, but try hard not to get too jealous.)

it is so perfect for us - everything we were looking for (with the single exception of enough space to pasture a family cow, so i'll be praying they legalize raw milk so we can stay here forever).  tall, south-facing windows? check.  original woodwork? check.  a gazebo in the yard with working electrical? you got it.

here are a few teaser pics (keep in mind these are the staged photos for the mls listing - probably definitely not my first choice in paint colors):

are those leaded glass windows? why, yes, i believe they are!

so guess what i've been spending an inordinate amount of time planning?...


since i've gotten in the habit of posting videos on wednesdays, how about we make this thing official? i think i'll call it video vednesday. 

uncomfortably close call

the other morning at 4:45, penelope suddenly started crying, which is unusual for her now that she's sleeping through the night.  so todd went in to check on her and discovered that she somehow got the reigns of one of atticus' horse toys wrapped around her neck and it was choking her (still not sure how it got in her bed and around her neck).  he tried to get it off her neck, but the more he tried, the tighter it got.  he ran in to get me, and by the time i came to check, she was gasping for air.  i quickly got the scissors and cut the rope from around her neck.

all todd and i could do at that point was just thank jesus for saving our daughter.  there are so many stories of random accidents not turning out so well.  if it had just been a bit tighter and didn't allow her enough breath to cry...if i had just forgotten to turn on the monitor like i sometimes do...if we just let her 'cry it out' as would've been the case if she wasn't in the habit of sleeping so well...

and in that moment, i heard god say, 'see? i have you.  i have her.'  which was a relief, but also a source of conviction.  because prayer doesn't come easily for me.  at all.  and part of the reason is because i don't always believe that it really does anything.  (it's not right, it's just honest.)  and i just saw all those prayers i had prayed over her answered.  deliberately.  by a loving god.

but i also realized that so often when i have prayed - for her safety from evil people, from evil forces, from accidents and trauma and injury and disease - i have really been praying, in a sense, for her protection from god.  a sovereign god who allows really crappy stuff to happen and pass it off as 'good' without obligatory explanation.  from a god who has allowed so many families to suffer the injury and loss of their babies. 

believing in god is no walk in the park.  he is no crutch.  it is a scary, vulnerable, hard line to walk at times, knowing that this god you love and worship really is in charge - and is not at your beck and call.  he gets to call the shots.  he gets to determine what is 'good'  - not you.  he gets to determine what is 'best' - not you.  he gets to determine what is necessary and big-picture and glorifying.  not you.  not me.  and the control-freak, self-sufficient, self-protecting, prideful girl in me hates that and holds her babies too tightly in her heart out of distrust.

but in that moment, i just felt god saying, i am trustworthy.  i am not out to hurt you.  i am trustworthy.

and that's not to say that he's trustworthy to bow to my whims about how my life should go.  it's just that he really DOES love me.  he really DOES love my kids, and he did give them to me as a blessing.  he doesn't take that lightly.  but he knows what's best better than i do, and he is faithful to do for them what is best for them.  and for me.  and i'm still guilty of self-protection in favor of vulnerability before god...but i have a clearer picture of how ridiculous that is now.

'member that time?

hey, 'member that time todd and i went to a phil wickham concert and it was totally awesome? then 'member how that lady in the front row started dancing and waving these marching band flags around for some reason and it was kind of confusing? then 'member how she started waving the swiss flag or something, and all of a sudden things were a bit too political for me?

swiss people always ruin stuff.

share your own 'member that time' and link up!

some deep thoughts on the current state of fashion. and a proposal.

i hate jeggings.  and those one pant-things that are basically just tights you wear as pants? don't get me started.  (if your motto has to be 'no panties, no problem' just to wear them, they're not pants.)

but i have to say, the skinny jean has won me over.  i was mighty skeptical at first, especially considering about 65% of people who are also drawn to the skinny jean should maybe consider a trouser cut or some zoobas.  but when done correctly, the skinny jean does make its point well.

the only thing is, the butt of skinny jeans is not skinny enough for my body.  so i have these nice, fitted pant legs and a big old saggy area of fabric around where i'm told my butt would be.  and the only reason i know my butt should be there is because 1) there are pockets there and 2) my butt crack hangs out the top.  (which is a complaint for another day - my butt crack seems to try to overcompensate for my lack of actual butt by being extra tall and ambitious.)

so here is my idea for paige-specific skinnies: i will take some long, denim-print tubes, possibly fashioned out of wrapping paper rolls, and slide them on my legs.  but so as not to leave my 'butt' hanging out, i will buy some denim-printed spandex shorts of sorts - maybe padded biking shorts for illusion's sake? - and wear them underneath.  while i probably wouldn't be able to bend my knees when i walk, i feel like that will add to the overall effect of the look.

i personally find this idea less bizarre and offensive than jeggings. 

or, i could save time and money and just, you know, have normal skinny jeans tailored.

penelope at nine months

penelope is now nine (and a half, but who's counting?) months old and deserves a little update as a reward for her stellar performance at this age.

personal stats:

weighs in at:  14 lb, 15oz; 1st percentile
towers over other babies (and some cats) at: 27.5 inches; 32nd percentile
can dominate her opponents with: three teeth and the promise of one more

she has recently become mobile and is perfectly content to continue 'scooting' everywhere - meaning, it's not really a crawl so much as a bumpy kind of slither that's happening.  and she's figured out that slithering not only gets you closer to objects, but you can do it just for fun, so she likes to scoot laps around the kitchen table. which means i have to be extra diligent about sweeping the kitchen floor when atticus is done eating.  she also likes to dry-swim her way over to the dishwasher so she can talk to her reflection in the door.

she dropped her third nap three or four weeks ago and is now napping once in the morning (9:30-11) and once in the afternoon (1-3:30).  we put both kids to bed at 7:30 and she typically wakes up around 7:15.

she's still mainly formula fed; i don't really push baby foods at all so we really haven't done much with that, but she eats chunks of bananas, cooked carrots, avocados, etc. by herself, and can feed herself crackers, etc.  she even may have figured out how to use a sippy cup the other night, but we're not sure.  on the occasions that i do feed her from a spoon, it's frequently just mashed up or soft stuff the rest of us are already eating: plain yogurt, applesauce, guacamole, etc.  this way, too, we discovered that she loves el azteca's refried beans.  but who can blame her?

when she gets tired or upset, she likes to rub and pull on her left ear.  if she gets really tired or upset, she pulls on both ears.  when i lay her down to sleep, the first thing she does is to rub the fuzzy side of her blanket all over her face. her favorite things to chew on are matchbox cars (safe, i know) and baby spoons.  she has massive separation anxiety right now, so church nursery is hard for her.

so is finding clothing that fits.  she is six or nine months long and three months around, so her clothes are always either too short or falling off her butt.  but she's my daughter, so that's kind of to be expected, i guess.

and finally, EVERYTHING atticus does is hilarious in her book.  she loves to watch him, and he likes playing with her (for the most part), and our biggest problem is usually that he's hugging her entirely too tight or that he's laying on top of her and smothering her.  he likes that she can crawl now because he can pretend that she's playing sister murph.  (murph = cat at our house.)

so that's that!  she's growing growing, albeit slowly, and i'm SHOCKED that we're mere months away from her turning one.  crazy.

constitution corner

i figured i should write a post in honor of impending presidents day.  however, i cannot post on presidents day because it is on a monday and 'member that time monday does not stop for any man, even if it is abraham lincoln (on whom i have a pretty serious celebrity crush).

so we'll honor him today instead.

tweeting is the new bumper sticker.

i realized the other day that bumper stickers are the twitter of the previous generation.  most of the time when i see people's tweets they fall into one of two categories: 'who the crap cares?' and 'i feel uncomfortable that i know this about you now.'  and the same seems to be true of bumper stickers: either they convey something useless and/or ridiculous (racing: because football only requires one ball) or really personal (i love my greyhound more than i probably should).

so all that to say, i propose a little less interpersonal communication amongst strangers.  not to say that your mom wouldn't be giddy to know that you like to shave your pits while watching bristol palin attempt to rumba; just, from a stranger's perspective, please keep it in the family.  maybe send a detailed email or quick informative text.  just don't put it on twitter or plaster it on your car.  that's all i'm saying.

so. now.  any strangers want to hear me spill about the latest stuff at our house?

'member that time?

hey, 'member that time in first grade when horrible mean abby fell down the stairs and i laughed and laughed and laughed? then 'member how i found out she had epilepsy and could have been seriously injured, but deep inside i still found it just as funny?

turns out abby and i were kind of the same person, only i was less clumsy.

thwr: pity party

paige: want to know what this is? it's the world's tiniest mime playing the world's tiniest violin.

and that's how we roll.

animal lovers and christian radio enthusiasts, avert your eyes.

our local christian radio station has these commercials that seem like they're supposed to be uplifting, or supposed to touch your fluffy christian heart, or something, but most of the time i'm just annoyed by them.  and a while ago, i heard one that really caught my attention.  considering i was driving, i didn't transcribe it word for word, but here's the basic jist:

those puppy dog eyes stare into yours as you come in the door from a long day at work.  yes, you've had a hard day but all he knows is that no one throws a tennis ball quite. like. you.

now, maybe this is supposed to tug at my heart strings, i don't know.  and while i'm not necessarily an 'animal person,' it's highly unlikely that i'll ever burn down the humane society.  my feelings toward pets are relatively neutral.

but deep down in my christian heart of hearts, when i heard this commercial all i could think was, "screw you, dog.  i'm tired and it's cold out.  now get me my slippers."

is this an indicator of sociopathy?

jack pot

i just realized the other day that penelope kind of looks like an alien.  not in a mean way, but you know what i mean - most aliens in the movies have disproportionately large heads and eyes, with small mouths and long skinny bodies.  and no hair.  so basically, a giant green baby from another planet.  i admit, the concept is pretty freaky.

not to mention the fact that the especially startling scenes from 'signs' would be even scarier if a real baby was cast to do them.  like a baby coming out of the corn? talk about having a heart attack.  or a baby walking around on the roof?  hello, that's really scary.  if only for safety reasons.

but then i got to thinking - if i had kids when they were doing the casting for 'signs,' i totally would've been that mom and tried to get my kid hired.  because seriously - i'd ahem, she'd make a ton of money, be famous, and get to meet a member of the culkin family all during a single film.  which is awesome, because my bucket list looks like this:

living vicariously through penelope, i could easily take care of a good majority of the things i want to do before i die, with the single exception of learning how to double-dutch, which sounds do-able once i can be single-minded about it.

also, once she grows up and looks a little, but only a little, less like an alien, i could pass her off as a long-lost olsen girl and ride a second wave of fame and moolah.  and also knock out my last remaining to-do:

do you have a bucket list?

what a girlie girl.

penelope is already a girly girl - kind of emotional.  this video is from quite a while ago (probably 4-5 months ago), but i think it's super funny.

thwr: that's classified.

todd: was that ad posted by an alpaca male?

and that's how we roll.

'member that time?

hey, 'member that time i was in austria and i was riding a bike to the pool when i fell off and got this huge, bloody gash in my arm? and 'member how i pretended to be all cool and american in front of my austrian friend, and like it didn't hurt or whatever, but it actually killed and i swore my bone was all splintered and i figured i should probably pass out to stop the pain?

then 'member how we finally got to the pool and some lady tried to talk to me about my arm (presumably to tell me it was unsanitary for me to get in the pool like that) but all it sounded like was, garbeldy garbeldy guten tag, so i was just like, i'm an american and i don't understand a word you're saying? and 'member how i couldn't even find the door to the pool so i had to go down the water slide into the kiddie pool just to figure out how to get into the building?

it's a good thing the women were all topless and the men were all in speedos, otherwise i bet people would've been staring at me.

also, it's a good thing i don't have AIDS or hepatitis or halitosis or something, because those would be unfortunate things for me to spread around the kiddie pool.

i HAVE to get some of these. like 17 of them.

just the other night, i was all like, am i going to go out in public or am i going to go to bed? and even if i do go out in public, i'm sick and want to be comfortable.  but i still want to be cute-sick.

i was at a complete loss because i couldn't get dressed until i knew what my night held.

and then.  and then.

i thought jeggings had stolen my heart, but pajama jeans??!?!?! holy. crap.  i need 17 pairs.  with their butt-lifting design and real brass rivets, i could wear them to clubs, church, coffeehouses, corporate naptimes.  and didn't you see?! great for 'busy moms on the go.'  THAT'S ME. 

no one would know i was actually wearing pajamas - PAJAMAS!  i would be all, FOOLED YOU SUCKAS.  and i would also be all like, doesn't my butt look great AND comfortable?!? 
if you took the best part of every good dream i've ever had, and mixed all those parts together into a single awesome dream, it still wouldn't be as good as these pants. 

day in the life: laundry room...PLUS

here's our laundry room.  and this video kind of took a turn for the long to incorporate my favorite things: cleaning edition.

and if you watch all the way to the end, you'll get the special bonus of hearing me attempt to talk my english good.  i just got speech'd.

still trying to decide if this will be our last insider video for a while (or at least until we have a new house to expose you to).  it probably will be, considering the only parts of our house that haven't yet made their film debut are: 1. the insides of our closets,  2. our master bedroom (which is basically another giant, messy closet with a bed in it), and 3. the inside of our kitchen cupboards (again, closet-like).  oh yes, and our garage, which i know you're dying to see but it's like negative 100 outside and you're not actually dying to see it.

so there you have it.  next time we invite you over, you can politely decline because you've seen all there is to see of our house and honestly i'm not funny in real life or a very good cook.

our current enemy: the wet cough

the v.v.'s have been taken down by The Crud.  actually, it seems to have skipped over todd...or the kids and i are just now catching it from that time in november when todd had it.  hopefully it hasn't been incubating in our house that long, but who knows?

in addition to the hated wet cough, we've got fevers, nausea, weakness, fatigue...we're basically barely-living illustrations of cymbalta side effects.

and all this is complicated by the fact that penelope is now mobile.  she is not quick, but she is definitely mobile.  so while all i can do is lay on the couch and groan about how i'm about ready to cross over, penelope is getting herself stuck under the couch or getting stranded on the linoleum, which is not so inchworm friendly.  in addition, atticus has discovered the joy of toppling her while she's sitting, so she's spent quite a bit of time lately being offended at all that life has to offer her.

atticus has been running a fever, although he's been acting mostly fine during waking hours.  naps and nighttime are an entirely different story - every hour or so he wakes up SHRIEKING, probably from the fever or the fact that he can't breathe through his nose, and he can't suck on his paci while breathing through his mouth.  so two nights in a row we've had to get him up in the middle of the night for a cool bath and to sleep in our bed, which has been interesting to say the least.   the first night, he was so confused that he wouldn't sleep, so after a half an hour of him playing with my hair and kicking me in the back, he was back in his own bed.  the second night went a little better, with him merely encroaching on about 95% of my personal sleeping space and getting the sheets all hot.  but then at 4:30a he woke up and was understandably confused, so when he started playing with my nostrils, it was again time for the kaibosh on the whole thing and he again ended up in his own bed.  last night went much better, and he slept soundly in his own bed all night.

needless to say, i'm not exactly sure when the last time was that i showered, or cleaned my bathroom, and i DO know exactly what season of friends is on syndication on multiple channels right now.  because i'm an unhygienic lump of a person.  with a wet cough.  who has lived on coffee heath bar crunch ice cream and green tea for the last 5 days straight.   wow, being sick really brings out the best in me.

actually, todd did say that he wishes i was sick more often because we ate mcdonalds two nights in a row.  but then we ate chili two nights in a row after that and i think he may have started to rethink that wish.