celebreality monday.

here it is.  the official beginning of my blog nakedness.  i will say that i'm not going to get completely nude (metaphorically speaking) - while i may tell you that i haven't brushed my hair in days or that i sat so long on the toilet hiding from my kids that my legs went numb and i have a suction ring on my butt, i will not post photos of these things.  or go into great detail about how badly the cellulite must've been wedged into that toilet hole (or how long i actually left my very small children unsupervised) to get such a ring.  i'll leave that up to your imagination. 

so this is your heads-up that mondays are about to go PG-13 for partial nudity, but for the sake of your innocence and my shame, i won't be pushing any boundaries.

here we go.

general overview of how i wish my life looked:

- peachy, porcelain skin.  number one.
- that's all.

general overview of how my life actually looks:

- an almost-three-year-old with a sinus infection that i refuse to have diagnosed because it costs a hundred bucks per office visit (yeah, no copay) and i'm sure desperately hoping i can avoid antibiotics by shooting some homebrew up there. 

- a seventeen-month-old who has been teething for the last ten weeks and who dropped a morning nap but can't handle all the awake time.

- at least one of the kids crying, screaming, or sounding some kind of general alarm signal about 80% of the time.

- me crying, screaming, hiding, or in some other way trying to escape reality about 25% of the time.

i really wish i was one of those moms with the ability to keep my cool when everything around me is falling apart.  because it feels like everything around me has been falling apart.  and i gotta say, at times i feel like i'm losing it.  why doesn't michelle duggar ever lose it?

somebody commented the other day on how well-behaved our kids are, and while i would say that they tend to be well-behaved as far as toddlers go, they're still toddlers.  they're still at each others' throats all day long.  they're still bossy to each other and tattle-y (is that a word?) when bossed.  they still steal toys, demand attention, and make TONS OF NOISE and even more mess.  ALL DAY.  EVERY DAY.  NO WEEKENDS OR HOLIDAYS OR PAID VACATION.

and i hate to think that being 'real' means just complaining about my life - my kids really are sweet and ask for hugs and want to cuddle and say 'i sowwy' after they've done something they don't want to get in trouble for.  but i think i was not mentally prepared for how much energy they suck just by being toddlers - even 'good' ones.  and i feel like i'm in survival mode most of the time...unable (and unwilling) to slow down and just pay attention.

i want to be better - more patient, more playful, more affectionate.  less busy, less preoccupied, less snappy.  i want to know how to discipline somehow other than "STOP SMOTHERING YOUR SISTER'S FACE IN THE CHAIR OR GET A SPANK!"  i want to know how to not be so desperate for quiet and rest and...quiet.  but this is where i'm at. 

but it's been wonderful to hear god say 'my mercies are new every morning'.  although, i wish he said 'my mercies are new every five minutes and then also there are bonus mercy coupons on top of that if you need them.'  which i know is true (maybe not the coupon part), but it would just be nice if there was a quick little verse that said that.

what i'm finding encouraging:

- god moves on.  his mercies are new.
- god plans ahead - i won't always suck so bad if he has anything to do with it.
- god promises stillness and rest and quiet if i'm willing to find it in him.
- my house has a lot of hiding places for times of pure desperation.
- maybe my resurrection body will have peachy, porcelain skin.  or maybe adult cystic acne will be the 'in' thing in heaven.


Alana said...

Hey Paige- In case you haven't tried any of the following as part of your "homebrew," I thought I'd pass on the recommendations we make at work when our clients are after homeopathic advice: raw garlic, or olive leaf extract; drops of tea tree or eucalyptus oil massaged into the skin (no more than four drops- can also use both, or combine with thyme and rosemary, if desired- this stimulates the sinuses); 50ml (1/4 cup, or so) of ACV mixed with 16 oz filtered water (most effective, and cheapest- thins mucus enough to let essential oils kick in a bit better.)

I hope things ease up for you!

paige said...

other than the eucalyptus/tea tree thing, are these things you'd recommend getting him to eat, or are they things you put up his nose?

THANKS SO MUCH for the advice!

Allison said...

If you ever want to escape from your kiddos without having to hide in the bathroom and having your bum stuck in the toilet then let me know! I'd love to come play with the kiddos while you rest or get things done! Seriously!

Anonymous said...

Raw garlic and olive leaf extract can both be digested. Raw garlic kills pretty much everything "icky" in the system, and olive leaf extract is really good for swollen..anything. (As in, I use it when I have mouth ulcers, or when scar gets "puffy.")

ACV- mix and sip throughout the day. If the taste is too much to handle consistently, and it can be, then just mix 2TB in a medium sized glass (8oz or less) and have him gulp it down at least once a day. Don't be freaked if the mucus gets really watery or clear, rather than green- it's just thinning out. (Gross, I know, but ACV really is the best way to clear sinusitis without medical intervention.)

Mixing eucalyptus and tea tree with rosemary or thyme can be done via direct skin contact, sniffing, or putting in an essential oil diffuser.

And, as I say at least ten times each day, see a naturopath if you're at all concerned. :)

Prayin' fer ya!