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why it sometimes sucks to have a christian husband.

usually, i'm really glad my husband is a hardcore bible-believing, jesus-loving, church-going kind of guy.  you know, like when he follows biblical teachings to lay down his life for us, prioritizes letting me stay home with our kids, and lets me eat the last bite (or whole carton) of ben and jerry's without complaining.  like when he gets home from work tired but still helps me clean up the kitchen and puts our kids to bed so i can end my day.  like when he puts his hands on us and prays for us and reads scripture to us and shares the things he's learning in his walk with god.

but sometimes it kind of sucks.

i have these terra cotta bowls i brought back from our honeymoon in jamaica.  other than a pound of coffee and a onesie for our yet-to-be-born offspring, they're the only thing i brought back.  so not only are they pretty much the coolest things ever to look at, they're sentimental.

i decided to be all Generous and Nesting Christian Mom and hang one of them on the wall in the kids' room, where it would look awesome.  however, not having any hooks that would hold it securely, i set it on the piano bench to wait until next week when i can get to hobby lobby.  yes, i sat it on the piano bench.  i think we can all see where this is going.

i came up the stairs from changing over the laundry, and atticus is all, sissy broke your thing.  penelope, of course, is nowhere to be found.  when i investigate what 'thing' it was that broke, it was the smaller of the two bowls.  cracked right down the middle.  because it's bound around the edges with some kind of twiney hempy stuff (it's from jamaica, so i'm guessing it's hemp) so i can't separate it far enough to get glue in there.  it's probably a goner.

and my stomach dropped and my face got all hot and i kept it together in front of the kids, but inside i was all THAT IS MINE! WHY CAN'T YOU BREAK YOUR OWN STUFF?!?!  i can't have anything nice.  everything gets ruined and no one even feels bad about it, they're just off ruining the next thing.  blahblahblah so on and so forth.

so i led penelope in an apology and then i called todd and cried about it.  it's sentimental.  it's mine.  she knew it was off limits.  it's not just the bowl, but what it represents: no boundaries between my adult life and the life the kids get to take over.  nothing is sacred.  blah blah blah so on and so forth.

and i'm expecting todd to be all, 'yeah i'm really sorry that must suck i'm with you.'  instead he was all, yeah i'm really sorry that must suck.  i bet that's part of what god talks about when he says that motherhood is a sanctifying calling: you become more christlike in learning what it feels like to have nice stuff that means a lot to you and have all your kids ruin it and not even care and you're left to fix the pieces.'

and i'm all, i don't want your christian mumbogumbo.  right now i'd rather just be pissed and risk going to hell if it worked that way.  which is the whole part of having a christian husband that sucks: he shows me by his example and encouragement that there are opportunities to learn about god at every turn.  and sometimes i don't feel like learning about god, i FEEL like throwing a tantrum.

god uses real-life metaphors all the time in scripture, like that time he had hosea marry a dirty hobag to illustrate how god felt sometimes being covenanted (married) to israel.  but i bet hosea was sometimes like, but god i don't want to be married to a hobag.  i just want to do my own thing and let you sanctify someone else, illustrate yourself in someone else's life.

BUT.  i suppose why that's why god has blessed me with a christian husband: because more often than not, without a voice of reason speaking words from scripture and through the holy spirit, i'd probably just do my own thing, wallowing and complaining and kicking the wall and stuff.  and it's not easy to get out of that ditch, even when someone else is there to encourage me (and sometimes even HARDER when i'm all like, don't tell me what to do i'm going to be a dirty rotten sinner instead thankyouverymuch).  but he puts the hard work in to encourage me, and i'm grateful for that.  so i suppose it doesn't suck so bad.  or at all.

1 comment :

todd said...

i am glad God did not call me to marry a dirty hobag.

Your point that God uess our lives sometimes as illustrations to demonstrate His mercies and conform us to Christ is well-stated.

I wonder how many opportunities on a daily basis go by without my soul growing toward love and appreciation for Christ in that I just tantrum it up and miss it all together.'

Great post ny lovely. I am glad it does not suck to be married to me. (sometimes :))

- by the by it is really hard to place a smiley face inside of a parentheical comment !!!