the one family in the country that didn't have sparklers yesterday. sad face.

We wanted to celebrate the Fourth of July well.  We really did.

We started off by heading up to the Amish together as a whole family, since Todd had the day off.  We bought a watermelon and the first sweet corn of the season.  We were going to do this.

Then Todd spent the entire afternoon hunting around the Gret Stet of Mizzurra for some sparklers.  While he could have easily availed himself of about seven giant inflatable "Uncle Sam Riding a Rocket Missile"s (and you know how I feel about yard inflatables), he couldn't find any lousy old sparklers.  When Todd asked a gal at Walmart whether they had any, she looked at him like he'd asked her if they sold dog turds.

So, after visiting countless stores, he settled on a six-pack of party poppers from Dollar Tree.  Anticlimactic to the most apathetic degree.

BUT, I will say, he done good and got some StarsNBars disposable plates so that I didn't have to clean up dinner, and I cooked a pretty darn patriotic summer supper: locally raised Missouri pork patties, along with corn, watermelon, dinner rolls, and summer squash (all from the Amish).  We thought a photo of Pork, Etc. under artificial light would be a good idea, so here you go:

I almost never put dishes of food on the table - the risk is too high that someone will knock over the platters or burn themselves - so when the kids saw it all laid out, they were like, "It's like a feast! YOU MADE US A FEAST?!"

After dinner, we loaded the kids up in the car and took them out for some frozen custard.  Only one sundae got knocked over in the van on the ride home, so that was actually better than it could have been.  Ice cream and flags because #freedom.

Oh well.  The kids had a grand old time, so don't break the news to them that most Fourth of July celebrations are better than this.  Don't tell them that they missed out on fireworks of any kind.  Let them maintain their blissful ignorance.

Also, their borderline-maniacal ignorance.  Let them keep that, too.

Good gracious, I love these amazing people and this incredible country of ours.  I really do.  (Though, guessing by the lack of fireworks I launched to display my affection to my people or my country, I have a feeling I'm a mild to moderate disappointment to them both.)