I was talking to my sister the other day, and saying how I wish I didn't feel so alone in struggling with my kids' bickering. I get why it isn't talked about much in parenting circles: we really have little right to be airing our kids' sin struggles to the whole world. It's my job to cover their multitude of sins, just like I would hope that someday they will be gracious and forgiving with my multitudes and multitudes of sins, when faced with the opportunity to air them in public. That's what love does.
However, it is possible to discuss it honestly without going into the specifics that would throw my kids under the bus. So if you're in the same boat, here's some company for your misery: my kids bicker. I often feel frustrated and unequipped to deal with it. It sometimes feels like I'm failing, and it sometimes feels like it's pointless to even try to combat it. I yell way too often, and I'm guilty of just wanting them to knock it off instead of putting the work into addressing the heart behind what's happening.
I have no answers. Is that comforting? I think sometimes that would comfort me to hear from other Christian moms - to know that managing frustrating relationships between kiddos seems it's just par for the course. To be reminded that they really do struggle with sin, and it will feel like it. To be cheered on knowing that it can't be 'controlled,' and the best we can hope for is to take the perspective that each opportunity for correction is yet another opportunity to share the Gospel. Not because it will 'fix' them, but because it is powerful to make them new, which will then motivate them to love the things worth loving: peacemaking. generosity. kindness. It will come - but only with lots and lots and lots of opportunities for correction and discussion, which seem to be most present in the midst of lots and lots and lots of offenses.
So take heart if that's where you're at. It's where I'm at, too. There is no fix. There is just endless opportunity to enter the ring on their team, and to trust the Holy Spirit to do the work in them that we can't. I needed this reminder, and need it fresh every day. Maybe you do, too.
3 comments :
folly is bound up in the heart of a child and it finds ample opportunity to liberate itself in a large family of littles. you are right - it is providing ample opportunity to share Good News, to train, to discipline, to speak instruction into the mosh pit. and by God's grace I trust we will see lives changed and hearts renewed.
I think it is also a test of our response. One arena in which I have been thinking about this is school work. I have been reading Charlotte Mason's works and one point she continually drives home is that the home should be a gentle and merciful and joyous place, which is regularly not true in our home. So I think our children's issues also shed light on our own.
This has made me think about some of the fights we had. Some were doozies. And now look at us. The two best friends anyone could have. I'm sure it's so hard to watch and listen to. You're an amazing mom.
Post a Comment