come and sit a spell. over there on the wipeable leather arm chair.

we bought our couches before we got married.  todd's parents offered to buy us furniture for our new home as a wedding gift, so we got to pick out new stuff from day one!  and you know what?  i'm pretty sure i will still love those couches with my dying breath.  those turned arms.  that camelback shape.  the traditional turned legs.  the extra-wide seat for people like me and abraham lincoln who need a little leg room. (i'm still crossing my fingers that he comes to visit someday.  i realize it's implausible, but if he does come, he will be comfy on my couches.)  yeah, they're a weird gold color, and the cushions are starting to get a little mushy, but i will recover those things a million times before i have to get rid of them before their time.

however, one thing i did not pay attention to when buying furniture as a young, never-been-married, never-had-kids moron (not the wise, educated, worldly woman i am now) was whether or not the upholstery fabric was washable.  i bet you can see where i'm going with this.

it is not.  it is dry-clean only.

so not only is the fabric gold, but it is covered - and i mean COVERED - with all kinds of nasty stains.  three babies later, and those couches are still telling the tale of every episode of baby spit-up, every time a toddler cried and buried his snotty and tear-streaked face in the couch, every time liquid medicine was administered and subsequently spilled or spit out, every time i have spilled my water during night-time nursing (oh yes, water stains them too).  i'm not saying it strongly enough when i say they're DISGUSTING to look at.  all gold and splotchy.

so i'm trying to figure out what to do with them.  i have tried covering them with slipcovers in the past, but a) no company makes a rolled-arm, camelback, T-cushion slipcover and so they always look wonky and fit strangely and cover up the shape i love so much, and b) cotton?!  slipcovers are made of cotton?!  like that's going to keep anything from soaking through onto the couches underneath.  they should make slipcovers out of bullet-proof vests lined with those weird foil thermal blankets.

at this point, i'm hoping a good professional cleaning and some massive scotchgarding action will do the trick, but i don't know, you guys.  they are pretty bad.  maybe someday in the future i will become besties with a seamstress with a bunch of time on her hands and a generous heart, and i can get them recovered in some kind of pretty, stain-repellant, stain-hiding, inexpensive, indestructable, good-smelling upholstery material.  until then...any ideas for me?


todd said...

next time get kid-spit-up colored couches?

Alana said...

If you can give me measurements, & fabric colour preferences, I'm happy to give it a go :)

Amanda Cushman said...

You could always get some sweet plastic covers.