if you know me at all, you know that i'm basically obsessed with two things: the duggars and little house on the prairie. this post is inspired by little house on the prairie because the duggars only eat turkey bacon, which offends my third obsession, which is bacon. (turkey bacon is not bacon. don't even try to proselytize me. you will fail.)
okay. so, like i said, this post is about bacon and little house on the prairie and not the duggars.
in one of the LHOTP books, ma ingalls wraps a turkey or a rabbit or something in salt pork (read: bacon) and gets all kinds of compliments and receives them graciously because she's ma ingalls. and i have since been super intrigued by what goes into wrapping some kind of roasted animal in bacon.
fast forward to a few years ago (four, maybe?) when i found this recipe for spice rubbed turkey wrapped in prosciutto. only, this is america people, so i clearly ditched the hoity-toity italian salt pork for the obvious: the duggars. whoops, i mean, bacon. (see? i think about the duggars 24/7.)
AND, OH LAWDY. turkey wrapped in bacon....turkey. wrapped. in. bacon. noodle on that for a second. just say it out loud and really slowly. i'll wait.
so needless to say, thanskgiving has never been the same since.
i realize i should have posted this before thanksgiving to give you a chance to try it for yourself this year, but i just didn't want to put myself on the hook for judging you if, for whatever god-forsaken reason, you chose not to try it. so i'll give you the benefit of the doubt, give you a year to fantasize over next year's turkey, and look forward to hearing my praises sung next november for being the angel that delivered this recipe to your doorstep. and every year after that when you refuse to deviate from this recipe.
so...seriously. try it. love it. pay me royalties every time you make it.
and so help me, if this is the part of the post where you get ready to comment about how you don't like bacon, just know that to do so will warrant an uppercut directly to your jugular. just try me.
video vednesday: pilgrims, turkeys, indians agree: the best dish is SPC.
so, i know i've posted this at least once already, probably twice. but given that tomorrow is thanksgiving, and given that i love this video with all of myself, i thought it only fitting.
boy meets thanksgiving.
cory matthews is ready for thanksgiving. he has his menu planned out, his house cleaned, and is kicking his feet up in anticipation of the big day. i am not quite so pulled together, but i (once again) aspire to be more like him.
so, bring on thanksgiving. if cory matthews is ready, then so shall be paige van voorst.
if i didn't know him better and trust him more, i'd suspect he was smirking at me for being underprepared.
so, bring on thanksgiving. if cory matthews is ready, then so shall be paige van voorst.
penelope.
oh, penelope. she is so crazy and funny and full of personality. she has her own signature dance moves. she sings 'building a clubhouse with my friends' nonstop. she wrinkles her nose and uses funny voices and makes funny faces. she is shrill and really loud. no, i mean like, really. loud.
i sit her on the potty before naptime and tell her to put her poop in the potty and she always answers with, 'and pee and toots?'
i tell her not to poop in her panties, and she responds by saying, 'okay, i will just put my toots in my panties.'
her favorite meal to order at restaurants is crackeroni and cheese.
if you tell her she's a big girl, she responds, 'i'm big and little.'
her best friend is named chloe and is imaginary. they like to read the bible together and share.
when overhearing todd call atticus a 'handsome dan,' she asserted that she is a 'pretty dan.'
when she's eating breakfast, she also asks what's for lunch and dinner. she likes to have her day's meals planned out ahead of time.
when asked if she is mommy's (or grandma's or daddy's) friend, she says, 'no, i'm just atticus' friend.' she's very loyal to her brother. the other day they walked laps around the house, holding hands. when asked what they were doing, they responded they were being friends and talking about the bible. when offered any kind of treat, she always makes sure atticus is also getting some before she accepts any herself.
she takes tiny, tiny bites of foods she loves, presumably to make them last longer. she'll take ten minutes to eat a chocolate chip.
she loves finneas and will say in a really shrill voice, 'finn is a good baby?????'
she asserts that not only are they her favorite colors, but she is 'pink and purple.'
she refuses to stay clothed. she refuses to leave her baby dolls clothed. if she can get out of her diaper overnight, she does.
when carrying toys upstairs, she often tells todd, 'you carry it. it's too big and i'm too little.'
she loves to pretend to skateboard, and wants to be a mommy and drive a skidsteer when she grows up.
she checks in on atticus' imaginary friends, fick and fack, by asking how (and where) they are.
she is a mystery to me. she is so full of life and personality already. she is just so...penelope.
i sit her on the potty before naptime and tell her to put her poop in the potty and she always answers with, 'and pee and toots?'
i tell her not to poop in her panties, and she responds by saying, 'okay, i will just put my toots in my panties.'
her favorite meal to order at restaurants is crackeroni and cheese.
if you tell her she's a big girl, she responds, 'i'm big and little.'
her best friend is named chloe and is imaginary. they like to read the bible together and share.
when overhearing todd call atticus a 'handsome dan,' she asserted that she is a 'pretty dan.'
when she's eating breakfast, she also asks what's for lunch and dinner. she likes to have her day's meals planned out ahead of time.
when asked if she is mommy's (or grandma's or daddy's) friend, she says, 'no, i'm just atticus' friend.' she's very loyal to her brother. the other day they walked laps around the house, holding hands. when asked what they were doing, they responded they were being friends and talking about the bible. when offered any kind of treat, she always makes sure atticus is also getting some before she accepts any herself.
she takes tiny, tiny bites of foods she loves, presumably to make them last longer. she'll take ten minutes to eat a chocolate chip.
she loves finneas and will say in a really shrill voice, 'finn is a good baby?????'
she asserts that not only are they her favorite colors, but she is 'pink and purple.'
she refuses to stay clothed. she refuses to leave her baby dolls clothed. if she can get out of her diaper overnight, she does.
when carrying toys upstairs, she often tells todd, 'you carry it. it's too big and i'm too little.'
she loves to pretend to skateboard, and wants to be a mommy and drive a skidsteer when she grows up.
she checks in on atticus' imaginary friends, fick and fack, by asking how (and where) they are.
she is a mystery to me. she is so full of life and personality already. she is just so...penelope.
weekly wazzaaaaaap.
this week was totally and completely dead. not a single photo of anything we were up to. mostly because we weren't up to anything. just recovering from the flu (the kids were still sick on monday - that's a five-day flu right there) and trying to get on top of the mounds of resulting laundry and bathroom scum.
i guess i could tell you that i tried kombucha. it's not bad in a 'it's kind of bad' kind of way. i think i'll start making my own.
so here's something instead of an update.
if you could only use one eating utensil for the rest of your life, what would it be? would it influence your answer to say that it is also the only utensil you have for cooking and brushing your teeth? go.
i guess i could tell you that i tried kombucha. it's not bad in a 'it's kind of bad' kind of way. i think i'll start making my own.
so here's something instead of an update.
if you could only use one eating utensil for the rest of your life, what would it be? would it influence your answer to say that it is also the only utensil you have for cooking and brushing your teeth? go.
finneas at eight months.
player's stats:
weight: 15.6 pounds (first percentile)
height: 27 inches (18th percentile)
signature move: the 'buffalo' bill cody.
finneas turned eight months on the sixth, and is totally rocking it.. i've heard other babies have done eight months up right, but he's seriously rocking eight months. he has seven teeth, first of all. yes, yes, i realize most teeth come in pairs, but he has somehow either willed one to crop up before its partner, or he has willed one to stay underground after his partner. either way, that's a pretty major accomplishment for a tiny infant.
he's still slithering around, although he has all-out crawled a couple times. since we have hardwood floors, i think his knees hurt and he slips around a lot more when he crawls, so he hasn't been super motivated. however, he is insanely speedy at the dead-leg crawl (where one leg refuses to pull its own weight - you know the move), and loves getting into the toy room or over to the computer cord before anyone can catch him. (why those two places? the toy room so he can tick off his big sibs by knocking over their lego towers and chewing on their trucks, and the computer cord so he can tempt fate by chewing on the cord and defying what seems to be inevitable electrocution.)
he's a lot more interested in toys at this point, and gets the short end of the stick a lot of the time when the big kids won't share, or take things from him, or grab him by the leg and drag him out of the room to keep him away from their stuff. poor, poor finn.
he loves babbling, giving kisses and waving. he loves growling while standing against the furniture. he likes playing with grass. he does not like yogurt.
he is still waking up one to three times through the night to eat, which is tiring. but i keep telling myself that since he's so small (he's still in 3-6 month clothing), he can use the extra feedings, and maybe he's little because he has a really high metabolism. who knows? in any case, it may help me reach my goal of finally being able to nurse for a full year with one of my kids, so i'm letting it slide for now. plus, i just can't bring myself to let him cry it out like i did with the other two. i'm turning into a big softie in my old age.
he eats every four hours or so during the day, and frequently eats dinner with us. we're doing baby-led weaning, so it just depends on what we're eating. soups have been a great way to get some simple, soft whole foods into him.
also, he loves reading. or, as todd calls it, r-eating, since he basically just chews on the books at this point. maybe he'll learn true phonetics by nine months.
weight: 15.6 pounds (first percentile)
height: 27 inches (18th percentile)
signature move: the 'buffalo' bill cody.
wait, how old am i?! e-i-8-h-t? that's not even a word.
finneas turned eight months on the sixth, and is totally rocking it.. i've heard other babies have done eight months up right, but he's seriously rocking eight months. he has seven teeth, first of all. yes, yes, i realize most teeth come in pairs, but he has somehow either willed one to crop up before its partner, or he has willed one to stay underground after his partner. either way, that's a pretty major accomplishment for a tiny infant.
he's still slithering around, although he has all-out crawled a couple times. since we have hardwood floors, i think his knees hurt and he slips around a lot more when he crawls, so he hasn't been super motivated. however, he is insanely speedy at the dead-leg crawl (where one leg refuses to pull its own weight - you know the move), and loves getting into the toy room or over to the computer cord before anyone can catch him. (why those two places? the toy room so he can tick off his big sibs by knocking over their lego towers and chewing on their trucks, and the computer cord so he can tempt fate by chewing on the cord and defying what seems to be inevitable electrocution.)
he's a lot more interested in toys at this point, and gets the short end of the stick a lot of the time when the big kids won't share, or take things from him, or grab him by the leg and drag him out of the room to keep him away from their stuff. poor, poor finn.
he loves babbling, giving kisses and waving. he loves growling while standing against the furniture. he likes playing with grass. he does not like yogurt.
he is still waking up one to three times through the night to eat, which is tiring. but i keep telling myself that since he's so small (he's still in 3-6 month clothing), he can use the extra feedings, and maybe he's little because he has a really high metabolism. who knows? in any case, it may help me reach my goal of finally being able to nurse for a full year with one of my kids, so i'm letting it slide for now. plus, i just can't bring myself to let him cry it out like i did with the other two. i'm turning into a big softie in my old age.
he eats every four hours or so during the day, and frequently eats dinner with us. we're doing baby-led weaning, so it just depends on what we're eating. soups have been a great way to get some simple, soft whole foods into him.
also, he loves reading. or, as todd calls it, r-eating, since he basically just chews on the books at this point. maybe he'll learn true phonetics by nine months.
video vednesday: i'm readin' a book, pig, i'm readin' a book.
today's video is sponsored by this photo of finneas:
how lindsey lohan ends up being a dead-on illustration of motherhood. who knew?
the other day i was driving home and thinking about celebrities. (as though i have to tell you that - you should pretty much assume that regardless of what i'm doing, i'm thinking about celebrities.) and i started thinking about how it must be weird to walk out of walmart all bloated and just-woke-up-looking with a grocery sack full of ben and jerry's and tampons and have about twelve hundred camera guys jump out from behind the bushes and then sell your unfortunate photos to any tabloid who will take them and then the tabloids print that you're pregnant or aren't bikini-ready or going through a divorce and then everyone is all, I HATE THAT GIRL, and you're all, all i wanted was some freaking cinnabon ice cream like a normal human being.
(also, you should pretty much assume that whenever i'm thinking about celebrities, i only think in run-on sentences.)
and yeah, that would be super annoying. and totally invasive. but then i was all, but that's part of the package when you become a celebrity. no one forced you to be famous (except, i guess, for people who are famous for being kidnapped or something). you chose this.
it got me thinking about how people might react when i complain about mothering stuff. how i'm all, i hate being covered in someone else's barf and also is it too much to ask to sleep all the way through the night and i hope my house is never a crime scene because my carpet is definitely not blacklight-ready and stuff like that. i bet some people are like, yeah, i could see where that sucks, but you chose it.
and back again to the whole celebrity thing. i bet many celebrities must see paparazzi simply as a necessary evil to doing what they really love. take lindsey lohan for instance. (or, so i don't get sued for libel, we'll call her finsey schmohan.) lindsey lohan (whoops) has to deal with all her personal crap getting plastered all over the front page of the checkout line smut magazines. and that must really suck. but she deals with the hard aspects of fame so that she can pursue her first love, which seems to be flashing her cooter at any given chance.
and back again to the whole mothering thing. this is just one of the myriad ways that mothering parallels being wildly wealthy and internationally acclaimed. i chose this life. if you're a mom, you chose this life. and yeah. it really, really, really sucks sometimes. but all those ways that your life has become infinitely better as a result of being a mom couldn't come without all the literal crap being thrown your way every day.
so the next time your kid snuggles you or colors you a picture or doesn't crap his pants, just think of all the hard things you went through to get to have this opportunity, and be grateful. think of your kid's smile as the cooter-flashing moment amidst all the paparazzi. or don't.
so, here's a question: what are some of your favorite cooter-flashing moments that make the rest of your paparazzi life worth it?
(also, you should pretty much assume that whenever i'm thinking about celebrities, i only think in run-on sentences.)
and yeah, that would be super annoying. and totally invasive. but then i was all, but that's part of the package when you become a celebrity. no one forced you to be famous (except, i guess, for people who are famous for being kidnapped or something). you chose this.
it got me thinking about how people might react when i complain about mothering stuff. how i'm all, i hate being covered in someone else's barf and also is it too much to ask to sleep all the way through the night and i hope my house is never a crime scene because my carpet is definitely not blacklight-ready and stuff like that. i bet some people are like, yeah, i could see where that sucks, but you chose it.
and back again to the whole celebrity thing. i bet many celebrities must see paparazzi simply as a necessary evil to doing what they really love. take lindsey lohan for instance. (or, so i don't get sued for libel, we'll call her finsey schmohan.) lindsey lohan (whoops) has to deal with all her personal crap getting plastered all over the front page of the checkout line smut magazines. and that must really suck. but she deals with the hard aspects of fame so that she can pursue her first love, which seems to be flashing her cooter at any given chance.
and back again to the whole mothering thing. this is just one of the myriad ways that mothering parallels being wildly wealthy and internationally acclaimed. i chose this life. if you're a mom, you chose this life. and yeah. it really, really, really sucks sometimes. but all those ways that your life has become infinitely better as a result of being a mom couldn't come without all the literal crap being thrown your way every day.
so the next time your kid snuggles you or colors you a picture or doesn't crap his pants, just think of all the hard things you went through to get to have this opportunity, and be grateful. think of your kid's smile as the cooter-flashing moment amidst all the paparazzi. or don't.
so, here's a question: what are some of your favorite cooter-flashing moments that make the rest of your paparazzi life worth it?
'member that time monday.
hey, 'member 'member that time monday? bringing it back old school today.
hey, 'member that time in college that i decided to get a lip stud, but how the gemstone on it got lodged under my skin when i bit it weird while eating mac and cheese? and remember how my new roommates' friends, who were total strangers to me, had to drive me to the piercing place and hold my hands while i had it extracted and i bawled like a girl baby? and remember how the guy had to replace the stud with a giant surgical steel ring because my lip was so swollen?
i looked goood and made an awesome first impression on my roommates' friends.
feel free to post your own 'member that time! just please link back to http://teamvanvoorst.blogspot.com if you do!
hey, 'member that time in college that i decided to get a lip stud, but how the gemstone on it got lodged under my skin when i bit it weird while eating mac and cheese? and remember how my new roommates' friends, who were total strangers to me, had to drive me to the piercing place and hold my hands while i had it extracted and i bawled like a girl baby? and remember how the guy had to replace the stud with a giant surgical steel ring because my lip was so swollen?
i looked goood and made an awesome first impression on my roommates' friends.
feel free to post your own 'member that time! just please link back to http://teamvanvoorst.blogspot.com if you do!
weekly blahblahblah.
i'm just going to make this short and sweet. what were we up to this week? some random stuff and then getting the flu. five van voorsts down within twelve hours of each other. it made for a very messy, stinky, grouchy, miserable day yesterday.
although, i'm extremely grateful for my amazing sister, who came over to help me even though she was feeling under the weather herself. she even watched my daughter projectile-spray puke all over the cabinets and didn't even blink an eye. (see? right there i bet you cringed, but she actually watched it, put penelope in the tub, and then tried to insist that i not clean it up but rather leave it for her to do. that is servanthood - dealing with someone else's pukey kid and also their puke.) (also, i did not let her clean it up. before you go thinking i was that cruel to my baby sister i would like to state that i cleaned it up myself.)
bleh. hoping today goes better, although i'm a natural-born pessimist and i'm pretty sure we have typhoid fever and are on the brink of death. i apologize if i die of this and you end up being the one who has to clean out my basement.
although, i'm extremely grateful for my amazing sister, who came over to help me even though she was feeling under the weather herself. she even watched my daughter projectile-spray puke all over the cabinets and didn't even blink an eye. (see? right there i bet you cringed, but she actually watched it, put penelope in the tub, and then tried to insist that i not clean it up but rather leave it for her to do. that is servanthood - dealing with someone else's pukey kid and also their puke.) (also, i did not let her clean it up. before you go thinking i was that cruel to my baby sister i would like to state that i cleaned it up myself.)
bleh. hoping today goes better, although i'm a natural-born pessimist and i'm pretty sure we have typhoid fever and are on the brink of death. i apologize if i die of this and you end up being the one who has to clean out my basement.
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