life updates.

i went shopping today, and seriously, the best shopping day of my life.

first, we went to this AWESOME "architectural salvage" store in des moines called found things - it was basically really nice/kitchy home decorating stuff, a lot of it antique, for really reasonable prices!! we have a junk store across the street from our apartment, but this place was way nicer and way cheaper...PLUS the lady who owned it was from washington, iowa, and knows my grandpa's family. small world. or, small iowa. the store made me itchy to get a house just so i could decorate it...so, when we get a house, i know where i'm going.

then we hit up jordan creek, where i got a pair of jeans and three shirts for 45 bucks. thrifty! it's almost a weird adrenaline rush i get whenever i'm able to get stuff for cheap. also, todd gave me a bath and bodyworks gift card for our anniversary (amongst many, many other things he spoiled me with) and between two coupons and a major sale, i got 2.5 times as much stuff as i should have for the same price...it was pretty much amazing. i love cheap stuff! the only thing i love better than cheap stuff is free stuff. (thanks, laura, for the awesome tip on hitting up walmart for free samples!)

okay, in obviously more important news, TODD AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER A YEAR!!!!!!!! we're pretty much pros at it now, from what i can tell.

sunday was our actual anniversary, so we opened gifts together before we went to the connection group leaders meeting. or, rather, todd opened GIFT which left me to open GIFTS by myself... it made me feel silly to have only gotten him one thing as i was sitting amongst a huge pile of stuff he got me, but he was really reassuring that he liked the gift i got him and that it was the one thing he really wanted, so that made me feel better.

then on monday, we ate a really nice dinner together, and had some of the cake we had frozen from the wedding - it was actually really good! (there's something kind of weird right at first about eating year-old cake, even if it's been frozen the whole time.)

in all, it was such a fun time getting to celebrate together and think about the last year of being married. to be honest, the thing that struck me most is how much FUN marriage has been. before we got married, i got a lot of advice about how marriage is work and it's not always easy and it's to make you holy not happy, etc. which is all 100% true...but i don't think anyone stressed enough just how much FUN it can be! i love spending time with todd and getting to know him better, and i love learning new things from him and establishing "our" life as opposed to "my" life. i'm just so excited to see how the rest of our life pans out, and i think this has been a great jumping off point because i KNOW that there are going to be some really difficult or even traumatic times up ahead (because, seriously, this is real life, not leave it to beaver) but i'm not worried about them. this year has really given me a sense of security in our relationship.

okay, i'll stop mistaking blogger for a conduit for love letters, but really, all i'm saying is that i'm in love with my husband. that's all.

in less mushy, equally husbandy news, todd has put in an application for a job that he's really hoping to get. in the simplest terms, it's basically a promotion from what he's doing now, just at the county level rather than just within his company. so he would be in more of a supervisory capacity, but still working with clients with disabilities. plus, it more than meets our basic salary needs, and in a roundabout way meets our insurance needs, too. plus it's right here in ames so he wouldn't have to drive all the way to des moines, AND (my favorite part) it seems like a pretty standard 9-5 job - no overnights/crazy hours!! so, basically, it sounds like the perfect job for him. we're just waiting to hear whether he'll get an interview...and holding our breath the whole time! if you could be praying that they offer him at least an interview at this point, and then later on offer him the job, we would GREATLY appreciate it.

that's it for a few minutes...this blog is too long already, but we have an exciting announcement that i'll be posting on a hardly-subsequent blog!

wonka update

boring entry, just fyi.

 

this is how our guest room looked a month or two ago after i cleaned it the first time:

this is how it has looked recently:

this is how it looks after yesterday:

i'm feeling accomplished.

and...we're back.

back to feeling normal. no longer a grump!!!

welp, we're sailing smoothly along through week 25 of being knocked up. holy cow, it's so crazy to think that in like two and a half weeks, i'll be in the third trimester already! not that i mind. i'm ready to meet the kid. if it weren't for all the developmental issues and whatnot, i'd say bring him today. not sure where he'd sleep or what i'd use as makeshift diapers, but those are just minute issues, right? (and, now that i think about it, i think i need a little longer to prepare....yikes.)

our house is feeling more and more cramped, and we don't even have the kid or any of his actual furniture yet. but it's feeling cramped in a good way - people have been so incredibly generous in giving us stuff that we almost don't have room for it all! definitely not a complaint. however, i've just kind of dumped most of it in the guest room, since i don't have any other place for it, and it's kind of looking like some kind of willy wonka storage shed. it's making me a little crazy, so hopefully i can spend some time this afternoon reorganizing.

this weekend we went to todd's parents to celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary and todd's dad's 70th birthday. it was nice - we pretty much just hung out the whole weekend, didn't do too much, which is my kind of weekend!! todd's mom told me about all the funny little things todd's nephew has been up to (he's 19 months now and just a BALL OF ENERGY!!!) and todd's dad told me about his annual adventures rounding up buffalo in nebraska. :) it was actually really interesting! plus, the four hour car ride each way was kind of fun - todd and i typically don't spend that much time sitting and talking. (which is a good thing in and of itself - we'd either get nothing else done, or we'd get super sick of each other if we spent four hours daily just sitting around talking.)

todd's family was super generous and gave us a bunch of baby stuff that had belonged to todd's nephew. first, todd's mom brought down this big sack of clothes and shoes that had belonged to david that he grew out of and there was so much stuff in there! little onesies and bibs and overalls and tiny cowboy boots (which our kid won't ever wear, but were funny anyway) and little hats. it was like christmas. THEN todd's brother showed up with more of david's stuff, apologizing that he didn't bring it all but "this is all would fit in the car." he gave us a play mat, a HUGE box of clothes and coats and shoes, a little walker, a bathtub seat, a highchair that hooks to the table...it was ridiculous. plus, half the clothes still had tags on them or showed absolutely no sign of ever being worn. it was really exciting and so nice of everyone that they were all so generous!!!

so i spent yesterday washing and folding and sorting tons of tiny tiny clothes. seriously, our kid is set until he's like a year old. the 0-3 month clothes alone fill an entire laundry basket. the rest i sorted by size and put away in a box, since we won't be needing those quite so soon.

wow, i know i've been going on and on about this stuff, but i'm just blown away (and really, really humbled) by how giving people have been. it's so exciting to see how many people around us we have that love us and are so generous with what they have. apparently, our little guy is well-loved already, and that's just so exciting!!!

todd and the little bugger played tag last night. the little dude would kick todd, then todd would poke him back and say, "you're it." then a couple seconds later, he'd kick todd again...it went on for quite a few minutes and was so funny! i've started to be able to feel his hands move more, not just his feet. it's so weird to think there's a little guy in there... i want to see him so badly!! i want to see what he looks like and get to hold him and everything. mostly, more than anything, i just want to see how much hair he has and what color it is. i know that sounds really stupid, but that's probably what i'm the most preoccupied with :). todd and i are both hoping to be able to fauxhawk his hair, because seriously, how hilarious would that be? so here's to hoping he's not entirely bald, at least for too long. (my college roommate was entirely bald until she was three. her mom had to tape bows to her head so that people would know she was a girl.)

so, in other news, our anniversary is coming up on sunday! can you even believe it!!!?!?! we've been married for a year already... doesn't even feel real. i'm planning a special meal and i got todd a present, both of which i'll tell more about later, since todd reads these blogs...

anyway, that's pretty much it. i'm going to work on cleaning up the chocolate factory.

not neccesarily

my wife exaggerates. yes, she has been a bit grumpy recently and for the most part it has been unprovoked (although i'm sure i provide ample material at times), but nevertheless, she still has her endearing qualities about her which i love. she has my baby boy growing inside her. my mind still refuses to organize that into a coherent line of thought. i can say it over and over again, but alas, it remains abstract. the naming process is fun, yet daunting as paige mentioned. imagine how much fun it would have been to be adam. naming all those critters so eloquently and presumably perfectly being as how he had not fallen from such great heights. i want to be original, but classic, cool, but refined, unique, but respectable, meaningful, yet aesthetic. it's being a little bit of both that provides such theatre i believe. if it were a matter of mere vanity, we could easily pick a cool or trendy name (www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/). if it were a matter of mere symbolic aesthetic, we could easily find a hebrew name with wicked cool sentiment (and by wicked, i mean "cool," not the musical, the devil, or any other evil concoction) like ariel (lion of God), uriel (light of God), jarah (God is my sweetness) etc... however, ours is a polyblend of the two, no wonder God was opposed to this practice amongst His people!!! it causes confusion! anywho, we'll nail one down and the lil' guy will survive.

in related news, i recently was reminded of Revelation 2:17 and Revelation 3:12 which seem to indicate if our lil' guy loves the LORD with all his soul, mind, heart, and strength he will receive a new name, one prepared for him long before we labored over his earthly one, which is his real name, the name that has always belonged to him, the reborn, the new, the completed in Christ name that will survive all eternity. that is my ultimate prayer for our lil' guy, that he would grow up to know the LORD and be changed by Him and walk with Him all his days, through many dangers, toils, and snares, in delight, joy, and all sweetness. isn't it cool that those of us whom have been called have secret names? i think it's cool. i'm excited to find out what my name is. i will finally know who i am and i will find it in Him, face-to-face, not like in this mirror i currently look. i will see Him and in so doing, will for the first time see me.

my wife is a jewel. she doesn't know it. good thing, i suspect she could get hard to live with if she even remotely bought into the hype. but then again, most of us would. so here's to love that sees beyond the seen's sense of doubt and a love that believes in the loved though they disbelieve themself.

baby -and all around- blues

bleh...i'm feeling blue. school starts in two weeks from today and i am so not ready. then again, just a few days ago i was in tears because i'm tired of being home all the time. (i maintain the tears were the result of fluctuating pregnancy hormones.) so i guess i can't have it both ways. i am looking forward to having more of a daily routine and a reason to be up and showered before 2 pm. i'm also looking forward to seeing a lot of the people i work with. at the same time, though, i think i just have a bad attitude because i'll have a whole new routine to settle into this year, in a new program with new kids, and i'll only be there for a couple months before the baby comes, so it's kind of like, what's the point?

in baby news, pregnancy hormones have been a-raging and i've been a class A grump. i'm uncomfortable (my stupid restless legs are driving me crazy) and hormonal and my face is getting fat. look out when you see me (if you can get away without me seeing you, i'd definitely recommend you try), and make sure to ask todd in private how he's handling it all. i'm no fun to be around.

we've been trying to pick out a name for the little bugger, but it's so overwhelming! there are billions of names out there and just one little guy. how will we know that we picked the right name, and that there isn't a better one out there that we just never knew of? what if it doesn't fit his personality? what if we are too indecisive and he's born and still doesn't have a name before we leave the hospital and we have to name him "placenta" or "barb" after the lactation nurse or something, just so we can take him home? baby barb van voorst. classy.

this blog is boring. i'm a grump. i'm going to go eat some potatoes.

week 23

this weekend, we spent many many....many many many hours registering for baby whatsits and we've finally got our registry done!

for the most part, it was pretty fun. we spent about 2.5 hours in target on saturday night, getting as much checked off the list as we could. (seriously, the baby caps and baby mittens were the cutest things i've ever seen in my life.)

then on sunday, we spent about three hours in babies r us, which ended up being kind of discouraging. by an hour and a half into it, all we had on our registry was a nursing stool and two packs of medela membranes. i started to cry in the crib section because we couldn't find anything we liked/agreed upon that was under $400. further, we couldn't really settle on a crib color until we figured out what bedding we wanted, but we couldn't find any we were in love with (well, that we BOTH were in love with at the same time). we couldn't find a pack n play we liked, because the ones with patterns that we liked were HUGE and really expensive ($180 for a playpen?!), and the smaller, less expensive ones were ugly. not only that, but we wanted a pack n play/highchair/swing set that all matched...oh, it was kind of an ugly trip. i had to take 3 or 4 "sit" breaks in the rocking chair section. too bad we weren't looking for rocking chairs.

after all of that and three hours spent in the store, we still didn't have a crib or a bedding set picked out. so we left and walked around pier 1 for a while, then we went to texas roadhouse. i was feeling MUCH better once our food arrived!

after we got home, we spent another 2 hours online looking at cribs and bedding, and we FINALLY decided!

the first picture is of the crib we picked out (while i'm loving the pink ballerina teddy bear, we decided to go for something a little less elton john for our little guy), and the second picture is of the bedding.

we got a few other things registered for online sunday night, then we went BACK to target yesterday and spent about an hour registering for the last little things on our list that we could. the rest we went online for - again -and finished up. so, after about 6 hours in the store, about 3.5 hours online, a meltdown, and a really good steak, we're finally finished.

i think we were both surprised at how long the whole process was. our wedding registry took a total of 7 hours and no trips online.

so, there's the beginning of week 23...whew.

ragbrai ragbites.

so, i came awfully close to hitting about 4 ragbraiers yesterday on my way to tara's. 3 were unintentional.  however, one of them gave me a funny look, and was lucky he got away before the light turned red. i hope he got a debilitating butt cramp.

oh, bicyclists. ride on the freaking sidewalk and obey traffic laws.

why is it that this one week every year we celebrate people who spend their week sleeping in tents, drinking beer, and migrating from town to town on their bicycles? the other 51 weeks, we'd call them vagrants or carnies and call animal control or something. but this week, when they all team up and swarm around, it's reason to celebrate and let them sleep in our yards.

i still regret not hitting that one guy with my car.

i'll love you till the wolves come home.

todd and i both had really vivid dreams last night. todd's involved waiting for a friend to push her car to the gas station where he was waiting, and then seeing a squirrel. not just any squirrel; a squirrel with wings that it was using to fly around. suddenly, its wings and tail fell off and it landed on todd's back. he desperately wanted to pet it, but he didnt' want it to bite him. he also had a feeling that if he turned around to look at it, it would peck his eyes out. with its squirrel beak. so he reached around and pinched its beak closed with his fingers so it couldn't peck him, and he began to pet it and tell it, "i'll love you till the wolves come home," which in his heart he knew meant, "i love you so much that i would turn around to pet you even if i knew you would peck my eyes out." awww.

i, on the other hand, had a dream that i auditioned for a dance company owned by dustin hoffman and kirstie alley. i auditioned, and then a stately black butler handed me a plate with a piece of apple pie on it. i was expected to dig through the pie with my hands to find a slip of paper that told me whether i was hired or not. i found a bit of the piece of paper, but not the whole thing, and i started freaking out because i thought kirstie alley had eaten the rest of the paper, and i would therefore never know whether i was hired or not. dustin hoffman was very reassuring, though, and told me that i had, in fact, been hired, but i needed to be less "ballet" and more "victim." all in all, a creepier dream than what i just conveyed. it was raining.

in much happier and more real-life news, we had our ultrasound today!!! our little bugger sure is cute...and MALE! we're having a baby boy! he was awake during it, and he would scratch his eye and yawn and move around. the ultrasound technician said that he REALLY liked to suck his thumb, because no matter how he moved, his hands would always end up right back in his mouth. it was so cool to see our little guy moving and hiccupping and yawning, like a real little person. i mean, i know he's been a real person, but to see it...it was indescribable. it was so cool.

i bawled like a baby. it was just so weird to see the little guy for the first time, even though i've spent the last 5 months thinking about him all the time...and todd was there and we were both so excited...probably one of the best times of my life, in all reality.

so. weird transition.

another exciting thing that has happened recently is that we've obtained a car seat AND a second base...for free! god has been awesome at providing us with all kinds of really neat surprises through generous friends. jared and allison gave us a car seat that allison's co-worker had given them. it's in great condition, and was only made in 2007; practically brand new. so i was thinking that i would only have to register for a second base so we could easily transport the kid in both cars. so, i was telling jamie and marnie how excited i was that i would only have to register for a base, and marnie offered to give me a base from one of her old car seats! how sweet is that?!

also, jamie has been awesome and found us a free bouncer-thinger, and has given me a bunch of breast feeding stuff, like milk storage bags, nursing pads, and a handy how-to pocket guide, which is funny. and gross. but nonetheless very appreciated and i'm sure will come in very handy.

god has been so good to us. he has blessed us with such an awesome marriage, and now a kid, and really generous and supportive friends and family...seriously, couldn't be happier. well, maybe a little happier...if only my belly button wasn't starting to show through my clothes...gross.

exciting times.

stuff going on in life:

1. i'm almost finished reading my first vaccine book!! (it's about time.)
2. i can feel the kid move pretty much every day now. last night i could actually feel it on the outside of my belly with my hand...weird.
3. a random stranger asked if i was pregnant (which is actually pretty exciting when you actually are pregnant and not just fat or tired.)
4. the guest room is totally re-arranged, thanks to the help of my awesome husband. we now have a place for the baby stuff...that we don't have yet! so, yay, big emptyish room! (the other side of the room is all cluttered with crap we don't know what to do with yet, but that'll be fixed soon. don't judge our clutter.)

5. i made 55 bucks at my first garage sale. can't complain!
6. i have washed and folded all the tiny baby clothes we have so far. i want to do it again.
7. todd let me buy this ADORABLE onesie that says "i love my mommy." it makes me cry.
8. i keep thinking this speck of dust on the wall is a spider out of the corner of my eye, but i'm too lazy to wipe it off.
9. i actually did have a spider in my bathtub yesterday morning, so i chased it around the tub with handfuls of water until it finally curled up into a ball and one of its legs fell off. for as scary as spiders are, they're not very resilient.
10. our ultrasound is in less than two weeks and i'm SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!
11. after we find out the gender of the kid (pray it'll be spread-eagle in the ultrasound) we're going to go register. again, so excited!!!
12. i'm eating more and i think i've gained a little weight, which is really good. we'll find out in a couple weeks.

that's it for now!

the weekly meltdown.

hello all. and happy july 2nd.

so...yesterday i was pretty much in tears because i have all kinds of baby crap and no actual baby stuff...does that make sense? i have powder and wipes and no changing table; i have little clothes and no dresser; i have a blanket and no crib; i have a car seat headrest and no car seat; i have all kinds of baby crap and no baby. not that we're ready for the baby right now...like i said, no crib or car seat. it's just hard to look around the room that is supposed to be for the kid, and see piles of junk everywhere. where will the baby sleep? oh, in that hamper of garage sale clothes. or on the guest bed. if it rolls off, no big deal; it'll land in a box of blankets. better yet, why not just let it sleep in the box of blankets? i feel like the worst mother in the whole world. (well, maybe not the worst, but i'm just one drug addiction away from being the worst mother in the whole world.)

to further the feeling, i've realized how truly grossed out i am by the thought of breastfeeding. not the thought of other people breastfeeding their kids, or my baby... "breasteating" (gross...nix that term), but of actually having to deal with boobs. that juice. that you have to pump. seriously, getting queasy just thinking about it. what's more, how come breast pumps don't come with instructions?! what's even more, how come babies don't come with instructions?! why are there entire books and entire classes and "lactation specialists" and nipple shields and all kinds of things that are supposed to help you breastfeed? call me crazy, but shouldn't it be instinctual? or, if not, at least easy enough to figure out on your own? what the crap did people do before babywise?

todd has been very reassuring through my latest meltdowns. at the time, i get frustrated that he doesn't get what a big deal some of these things are to me, but then i stop to think that if he got worked up over the same stupid things i get worked up over, we wouldn't do anything but sit around and cry all day. thrilling.

whew. that felt good to get it all out. however, i just realized that i've been blogging for the last 15 minutes and not picking up the baby's room like i came in here to do...no wonder nothing's done.

on the exciting side of life, i made refried beans from scratch yesterday. from real beans. not even lying. maybe i really can do the mom thing...after all, i can cook beans. babies can't be that much different.