on being told by older women to 'just enjoy these days.'

Earlier this summer, I must've had some kind of stroke and decided to take all the kids with me for a quick trip into Natural Grocers.  They were actually doing pretty well, given the fact that it was lunch time, they were hungry and we were in a grocery store.  But all things considered, it was going pretty smoothly.

An older gal came up behind us in the fridge section, and asked if the kids were all mine.  (This is never not an awkward question, by the way, so if you're ever tempted to ask it of anyone, curb your instincts.)  I nodded that they were, and kind of half-apologized for taking up the entire aisle with all my monkeys.  She then laughed and said she had six of her own, and the youngest was now a senior in high school.  (Note to anyone who has ever been prematurely offended at an off-hand remark from a stranger: you have no idea what their intentions are.  She clearly wasn't judging my life choices when she asked if they were all mine; things could have gone much differently if I had gotten defensive or rude in response to her initial question.)

It turns out, she was a believer, and had even homeschooled all of her kids all the way through high school, so it was fun chatting with a like-minded mom.  Before we parted ways, she said, "If I had it to do all over again, I would slow down and enjoy it more.  Just enjoy your time with them; it goes so fast."

Now, I realize that when you're a young mom, it's easy to eye-roll at comments like these.  It seems like that's all you hear from older women (at least from the ones who aren't literally 'tsk'-ing at you for some insignificant parenting choice, like piercing your baby's ears, for example), and it's easy to feel discouraged by comments like these.  "Don't they remember what it's actually like?  Like it's that easy.  Like I have time or the will to 'just enjoy them.' I can't believe they would say something like that."

But here's my thought: If every. single. older. woman. out there is saying the same thing, maybe they know what they're talking about.  Maybe we are the clueless ones.  Maybe we don't have this motherhood thing figured out after doing this for like two years or eight years or twelve years.  Maybe it really takes decades to learn the deepest truths of motherhood.  Maybe we could use a few pointers.  And maybe, if we would take our youthful, immature, prideful heads out of our butts for like .02, we could learn a little something from the battle-tested women who have gone before us.  Maybe.

I walked out of that Natural Grocers determined to try to enjoy my kids a little more that day.  Not because the kids were inherently more enjoyable, but because I realized that my attitude is my choice.  And the choices I make today will impact how I live tomorrow.  It will impact how I relate to my kids.  It will impact whether I regret how I lived these days.  It will impact my ability to submit more readily to the collective wisdom of the older mothers around me instead of walking around like I have everything figured out.

So here's a little hard-hitting realism for you today: WHO CARES if you don't like the advice older women give you?  WHO CARES if it's unsolicited, or they don't know your whole story, or they seem out of touch, or you don't think their advice applies to you for whatever reason?  Consider the possibility, the likelihood even, that it's worth taking anyway.  Because, sorry, but who made you the expert on motherhood?  Who made your peers the experts?  The circumstance of being a mother is achieved by being given a child; the state of mothering well seems to be achieved through a lot of time and a lot of humility.  Submit yourself to the wisdom of others.  Most people are really just trying to help you succeed.

How's that for a strong start to the new week?