riding dirty.

so, on tuesday, i took all the kids to the DMV by myself.

my license was so expired, i was getting pretty darn close to the point of riding dirty.  it expired march 26, and they give you 60 days to renew it.  which means i had until may 25.  i kept putting it off, and putting it off, hoping a convenient time would crop up for me to go.  (as though i was expecting the clouds to part and an angel to come down and be all like, 'here, let me watch the kids for you during business hours!')

well, shockingly, no convenient time came, so saturday morning todd and i drove to waterloo so that he could wrangle the kids while i did my thang.  so i got up early, showered (!), and did my hair, which is no small feat, considering i'm once again entering duggar territory.  i got dressed!  i wore earrings!  we got to the DMV and it was locked!

yeah.  it was closed on saturday for the holiday weekend.

so we went to t.j. maxx instead and i drowned my sorrows in new throw pillows.

considering monday was memorial day, i couldn't come back until tuesday.  may 27.  with all the kids.  by myself.  and i would have to do my hair again, since no one wants to look like a moron in their license picture.  they issue those things for like seven years or something at this point.  

so i did it.  i took them.  we got there and i loaded the littlest kids in the double stroller, and handed all solid-food-eaters some bread and milk to keep them occupied.  we walked in, and discovered that there were twenty to twenty-five people in line ahead of us.  

we were there for close to an hour before getting called.  in the meantime, finneas kept kicking the butt of the stranger sitting in front of us, laurelai was on the verge of crying the entire time, atticus kept trying to lay his face on the floor, and penelope loudly observed that the lady behind us had 'funny, GIANT nails.'  to diffuse the comment, i was like, 'aren't they a pretty color?'  and penelope was like, 'eh.'

so we finally got up to the counter, and the DMV lady kept having conversations with her co-worker in the middle of me answering her questions.  atticus was trying to climb onto the counter so that he could see inside that vision-checker box thing.  the lady took my picture and told me to wait at the other end of the counter for the  temporary printed paper version to be handed to me.  if there was one silver lining to her inattentiveness and disinterestedness, it was that she never said anything about me being so delinquent in renewing my license.  (either that, or she was like, no one is going to want to give this lady, with her millions of kids, a driving test, so we'll just move them along.)

by the time i got my sheet of paper, the kids were pretty close to freaking out, and i don't blame them.  and then i looked down at my picture and realized that IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE A LAZY EYE.  YOU GUYS.  IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE A LAZY EYE IN MY DRIVER'S LICENSE PHOTO.  

the kids were not sympathetic to this complaint, by the way.

so i went to t.j. maxx and drowned my sorrows by taking back my new throw pillows.

also, i got asked twice in the same morning if all my kids were 'mine.'  um, i'm not really sure whose they would be if they WEREN'T mine.  and one girl was like, 'irish twins, huh?'  i guess.  if you want to be derrogatory and also bad at math, since i just told you how far apart they all are.

baaahhh.  end of story.  sad day.


the jersk. said...

oh my gosh. you're SO brave. so so so brave. bummer on that lazy eye though. that's just uncalled for.

todd said...

I want to derogatory and GOOD at math.
What are my options for pursuing this course of interest?

Danielle said...

I had to renew my drivers license. A month before I get married and change my name and (ergo) drivers license. Bah.

To keep things interesting and hilarious at my expense, I look NOTHING like my picture. In fact, I plan on keeping the hideous picture for the sole fact that every time I'm tempted to let my weight go, I can look at my 300 pound face and laugh at how fat I am. (I kid you not. I'm bringing it to the wedding and sticking it down my dress. Ask to see it. It's AWFUL/ESOME.)

Moral of the story? Always ask to see the picture before they print it.

Amanda Cushman said...

I probably shouldn't tell you this but did you know that you can renew your driver's license online now?

paige said...

@amanda, i saw that! but the website said that since my address has changed since they last issued me a license, i had to actually go in. and my hopes had gotten so high just to be dashed.

Amanda Cushman said...

Ohhhh I gotcha. *Sigh of relief* Glad you had a good experience. I absolutely hate that place but the last time I was there I met the sweetest man who used to be a preacher so I was fortunate enough to hear his story and get to know him a little. Totally worth the trip!

todd said...


now i want to go to the DMV! i wonder if that preacher guy is still there?

Amanda Cushman said...

It's worth a shot @todd! He had a very sweet story about his wife who had died of cancer which made him realize just how short life really is. He was back in Iowa for the summer after being in Florida for the winter. Our conversation began because he really liked my pink shirt. He was wearing pink too. Definitely an unforgettable experience!!