how i almost gave birth in a hallway under the watchful and hands-off gaze of ten members of the medical staff.

hey, so i have to tell you about that time i was in labor with finneas and some lady in the parking lot at the hospital ran inside to get me a wheelchair because being helpful to laboring women is a nice thing to do.  so then todd is one-handing the wheelchair and pulling our suitcase behind him, and he manages to get us onto the elevator and up to the fourth floor to deliver but then there are these special automatic handicapped-accessible doors....that have no push button.  so we're standing there, trying to figure out the disability-friendly doors, and these nurses and doctors are standing like twenty feet on the other side of the doors just staring at us trying to get the doors open and talking to each other like, 'i wonder if they know how to work those things.'

so then todd opens the door with one hand and pulls the suitcase through with the other, and i, dilated to nearly ten centimeters at this point, try and skooch the wheelchair through with my foot, kind of like a pumpkin with legs riding a skateboard, and then we get through and the nurse is all, 'why didn't you push the button?' and we were all, 'great question' and she was all 'it was like twenty feet behind you the whole time.'

thank you, nurse.  you have been very helpful.  also, good luck to anyone trying work the handicapped-accessible doors if you are visually handicapped.

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