what's up - and who's down - weekly.

this has just been a blah week, guys.  i just feel... blah.  the weather is nicer, i'm supposed to be in 'tiger blood' mode at this point in the whole30, and yet... blah blah blah. 

well, let's just jump right in, shall we?  my house currently smells like a head shop, so there's that.  a friend gifted me an oil diffuser recently, and 'stress relief blend' has been the oil of choice now that the sickness seems to have left the building and more medicinal oils aren't as necessary.  as it turns out, patchouli seems to be a major ingredient in 'stress relief,' and while it does seem to be helping with the mood issues, it also makes me feel like my house constantly smells slightly illegal.  my eyes have gotten shiftier as a result.  so if you see me, i'll probably look more relaxed than usual, but somehow simultaneously more jittery because i feel like everyone thinks i smell like a criminal.  

and now i appear to be paranoid.  excellent.  i'm really building a pretty good case for laying off the oils for a while.

in other news, it has been beautiful here.  i'm talking everyday in the thirties and forties.  i feel like i should start putting sunblock on the kids when they head outside.  the sun has been shining, the snow has been melting, and the yard has been looking, well, pretty tragic, if i'm being honest.  the kids went outside to 'play in the snow,' which was pretty limited in its scope, as it turns out.

hahahaha, i literally belly laughed when i first discovered that second picture on the camera card.  the fact that he's full-on scooping a pile of snow that's roughly the size of a pie just kills me.

annnnnd last but not least, the whole30 report.  i wish i had happier news on this front.  we're all staying strong, although the kids are getting totally and completely disillusioned with the whole thing and ask every day how many days we have left before we can 'stop eating healthy food.'  and, you know what?  i kind of agree with them.  (today is day twenty-five, as though i'm counting or something.)

i bought a package of salted chocolate-covered caramels at trader joe's a couple of weeks ago, to save as a treat for after this whole thing (ha. ha.) is over, and knowing those things are lurking around in my basement makes me feel about as desperate as, um, a desperado?  are those guys desperate?  it sounds like they might be based on the name alone, and they're probably at least desperately thirsty for love.  and also literally thirsty for water, from what i can tell, since they're always depicted as being covered in sand and running away from the law, which both seem like dehydrating activities.  well, anyway, i'm thirsty for chocolate.  any and all kinds.  and i'm getting a little bitter at the fact that raisins are expected to scratch that itch for me, because hello, i'm not new: it's pretty obvious a raisin is just a grape that got left out overnight.  

i'm pretty sure this chocolate withdrawal is half my blahdom explained.  it also probably indicates that, twenty-five days in, my sugar addiction is still not under control, and that i should keep going beyond thirty days.  but guys, i'm just not sure that i'm strong enough.  i think those caramels from trader jose's have got my goat and really it's a modern day miracle that i haven't caved and eaten them before now.  i'm starting to talk to myself in the third person like a hippie therapist, being all, 'you're stronger than this, paige,'  and 'independent, confident women don't have to binge eat in their basements to feel satisfied with their lives, paige,' and 'it's just food, it's not love, tiny flower.'

that's probably just a result of the patchouli as well, though.  i think it's becoming clear that i really should lay off it for a while.

1 comment :

todd said...

the whole thing is quite tragic.