wherein i go into vague detail about that one time i had diarrhea.

i had an indescribably massive case of the flu the weekend todd and i 'officially' started dating.  he came up to spend the weekend with me at wartburg, and he had this whole thing planned out where he brought a towel and bucket and he washed my feet. (you know, like jesus did to the disciples to represent servant leadership.  somehow i got me a good one.)  oh, and then right after that i got all squirmy and asked him to stand in the hall so i could blast my insides out in the bathroom without him hearing (or smelling) anything and then regretting ever having liked me.  because, really.  that's a lot to sign on for: someone who can't even wait until the second date to go all mentos-and-diet-coke on you.

i felt like CRAP the whole weekend. (harhar. no, really.)  he tried his best to make it a memorable weekend (and also not gag), but i'm afraid most of what i remember about that weekend was that he paid twenty bucks for me to be able to get sick in the movie theater bathroom rather than at home.  i hope that as a twenty-seven-year-old guy sitting by himself watching Chicken Little in public, he was able to appreciate the quality of the animation and all that.  you know, to make it less weird that he was on his first real date with me...without me. 

i, on the other hand, spent that hour and a half trying to ignore how sticky the bathroom floor was.  (seriously, why are bathroom floors of movie theaters covered in popcorn butter?  who is doing what inside those stalls?!)  also i spent a good portion of that time praying that god would stop up my bowels and also dupe todd into thinking that i had only been gone for a normal-person amount of time.

anyway, long disgusting story short, we got back to my dorm, todd slept on the floor and i slept on the futon because i was too weak to make it up my loft, and too scared that i might not have enough time to make it down the ladder should another wave of disaster strike in the middle of the night.  (thinking through it now, it may not have been wise to allow todd to lie unconscious in the middle of my unlit path to the bathroom that night.)  but all's well that ends well, i guess, because here we are, nearly seven years later, close to celebrating five years of marriage, and ironically i have another stomach bug.  what a nice way to bookend our early years.  at least i'll never have to question whether todd knew what he was signing on for when he married me.