so, here's a little insight into my crazy.

if you haven't heard, i'm deathly afraid of bleach. and bleach cleaners. and cleaners that don't have bleach in them.

before you start thinking i'm a total disgustoid, let me reassure you that i do, in fact, like things to be clean and hygienic. i have a go-to cleaner that i make that is half vinegar, half water with a squirt of dish soap. and if i've said it once, i've said it about a quatrillion times: this is what they would use to clean heaven if heaven ever got dirty. i use it on my counters, in my bathrooms, and even to mop the floors. (my hardwood is polyurethaned - don't use it on waxed floors. and i have no idea what the results would be on laminate - i doubt heaven has 'wood-look' flooring, so even if you can't clean laminate with it, i still maintain that this is worthy to be used by the heavenly custodial staff.)

ANYWAY. i've been using my vinegar solution (aka, 'cleaning nectar') for a long time and i've been happy with the results. except i've found that it is somewhat useless against three-year-old-boy-urine-smell. lately the smell has gotten a little too intense, so i decided (begrudgingly) to bust out the bleach.

even though i just mixed up a 10:1 water and bleach solution, i was still super freaked out. i mean seriously, it smells noxious and permanently stains whatever it touches - i'm freaked out by people who aren't freaked out by that. so in order to play it as safe as possible, i grabbed a few rags, moved everything out of the way (towels, toilet paper), stripped down to my 'bleaching uniform' (skivvies), cracked the balcony door to let out the fumes (yes, we have a balcony off our bathroom because we're classy. and yes, it only houses an old broken down air conditioning unit because we're also working class), and sprayed that stuff with my arm extended as far away from my body as possible and with my eyes closed. then i wiped everything down and rinsed incessantly with clean water. i'm pretty sure i would have been a ridiculous sight to see had you been peering through my balcony door. but hopefully you weren't.

when i was done, i wiped down my whole body - especially the soles of my feet - with a clean, wet rag so i didn't track bleach through the house, and put the rags to wash in a load all by themselves so they didn't cross-contaminate. then i waited a few hours before returning all towels, etc, to their rightful places just in case any rogue bleach was still damp and waiting to ruin anything.

i'm thinking about getting special flip flops to wear only when i'm cleaning with bleach (which will probably happen more regularly now that i have two boys, one of whom has been insistent that he wants to start standing up to pee). and i'm thinking i will call them my bleachflops.

anyone else seriously OCD about stuff like this? i'm hoping i'm not the only one, because that would make me not only crazy, but 'lonely crazy,' which is a sad, scary place to be.

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