if you've been paying attention, you may have noticed that i haven't said specifically to where we recently moved.  that has been on purpose.  mainly because with 100 readers a week, i don't know that some of you aren't sexual deviants or arbonne representatives that are just dying to know where we live.  and not that i don't assume that if you do fit in one (or both) of these categories that you're not intelligent enough to just type our names into whitepages and find out for yourselves, but you know.  doing what i can to protect the fam.  (and there will be more in this direction later, possibly involving one of those things where parents start calling their kids food nicknames in order to conceal their real identities but you're really all like, 'why are you calling your kid carrot stick when it's pretty obvious from the last three years of posting that his name is gene?'  yep.  we might go there.  not naming a kid gene.  calling him carrot stick.)

(also, if you're dying to know, just ask me. it's not like it's classified. just give me a head's up if you're looking to kidnap one of my kids or something so i can be on the lookout for that.)

anyway.  a secondary reason for not sharing our locale is so that i can point out little quirks without making you associate the whole town with the funny little goings-on that only a newbie can appreciate...i will say that i have LOVED LOVED LOVED where we have landed and only jest because i love.

as you drive into town from the interstate, there is a series of professional, permanent road signs lining our main street. and while each sign only contains two words, they all add up to read: "statistics show from near to far, folks who drive like crazy are, OUR IOWA." and i'm all like...huh? what does that even mean? is it like a cautionary series of signs, and i should watch my back so i don't get T-boned by some iowan with a death wish? or should i get offended and sue the sign-makers for libel because they're calling all iowans crazy drivers? and also, who voted that such confusing signage would be a good idea? and who paid to have them made and installed? and what, exactly, is the obvious benefit of reading those signs instead of, say, watching the road or finding out what the speed limit is?

i have to admit, those signs did not make the best first impression on me.  i found them confusing at best, and NO ONE could tell me what the heck they were for.  i have since found out that the register did some kind of 'ridiculous OUR IOWA rhyme' contest, and one town from each county won.  so now, they actually make me kind of proud that somebody from our town came up with it, weird as it is. 

i saw another series of signs in cantrell, iowa, that said something about pulling off to the side of the road so you don't fall asleep while driving...OUR IOWA.  and again...huh?  i still maintain that the contest was maybe a dumb idea, and the poems are hardly tennyson, but whatever.  i have decided to think of it in a stars-hollowy kind of way, where it's kitschy but kind of in a cute way, so it actually becomes endearing.  in fact, it's so endearing that i may vandalize the sign to say MY IOWA.  it has won me over to that degree.  (...not entirely true, but i'm getting there.)


apotratz said...

Yeah that signage also confused me. I do like our town, but one thing I've determined is not so good...the DQ. I've seriously considered calling Inspections on them, it's just gross. And the Twisty Dip is rarely open, which means getting good ice cream is thumbs down.

Saved by grace said...

We don't have any funny signs but we are the City of Five Seasons and have a dumb tree planted by the river that they conned little kids to getting their parents to donate money for through the school systems. Oh and it sometimes smells of Cargill (it stinks) or Quaker Oats (depending on the day it smells good).

Oh to live a little town:-)

YAYA said...

A grandchild named "Carrot Stick," maybe. Just not "Carrot Top!" Just sayin'

paige said...

karlee, based on smell description alone, i know exactly where you live. and on cargill days, it DOES stink.