i've never really liked to cook. i think it started out as a direct result of my complete cluelessness and my tight grocery budget, and was fueled by some early failures (um, have you heard the story of that one time, early in marriage, when i made Jalapeno-Coconut Milk-Pumpkin Soup? can you guess, on a scale of one to sewage, just how disgusting it was? i bet you can.)
then i had kids and my disdain for cooking got stronger. not only was i exhausted by the end of the day, but i would have to figure out how to cook with kids running between my legs and sticking their heads in the oven and generally just being antagonistic toward the whole process. not to mention the scientifically proven fact that a child cannot be within a ten-foot radius of the stove without whining his head off. then, once i got the food on the table, the kids would - without fail - complain about what i made, ask for something different, cry, throw it/spit it out, and/or start gagging. hardly makes the effort seem worth it.
and then there's after-dinner cleanup, which makes me want to die. i'm wondering if that guy that sawed his own arms off at the home depot did it as an excuse to get out of scraping dried eggs off the sides of a pan.
but lately, i feel like the heavens have been parting and the angels have been singing and cooking has generally been on the up and up. and here's why:
1. a strict "stop whining or get out of my kitchen" rule. harsh but effective.
2. pinterest, and recipes i'm actually excited to try. (HUGE motivator!)
3. a slightly-expanded tolerance for new foods on the part of my kids.
4. pinterest-recipe brownies to use as self-medication when things go terribly awry. (this is still real-life, after all.)
what has helped you guys hate cooking less? or am i alone in finding it a scourge? please tell me i'm not alone...
does this count as writing a guest post? sort of?
a while ago, i sent an email to my friend jenni, in hopes that it would encourage her. in a sweet turn of events, she thought it would be helpful to share with other moms and posted it on her blog. head on over there - i hope you can be encouraged too!
just call me quasi for short.
so, i have a bit of a problem.
you know how i mentioned a week or so ago that, in my attempt to start looking less vagrant, i bought a purse? did i mention that it's the perfect shade of brown-but-not-too-brown-but-not-too-orange-but-not-too-tan? did i tell you how it is the perfect shape with unobtrusive hardware? did i let you know that it is the perfect size for all of my wallet-and-book-and-diaper carrying needs? it really is the perfect bag.
but.
i have never had a bag give me such bad shoulder pain before. i'm not talking about annoying or mildly uncomfortable. i'm talking, 'my whole shoulder is burning and it's all i can think about and it's making me nauseous and it's all i can think about' kind of pain.
what's a girl to do? i think i mentioned that it's the.perfect.bag. plus, i spent more than i typically do on a bag, simply because (that's right) it's so perfect. i can't give it up!
but goshdarnit, pretty soon here, i'm not going to have a shoulder to carry it on because i sawed it off with a pocket knife to alleviate the pain. though i'm not so sure that being self-inducedly shoulderless (and, resultingly, also armless) is all that Womanly.
what is a girl to do?
you know how i mentioned a week or so ago that, in my attempt to start looking less vagrant, i bought a purse? did i mention that it's the perfect shade of brown-but-not-too-brown-but-not-too-orange-but-not-too-tan? did i tell you how it is the perfect shape with unobtrusive hardware? did i let you know that it is the perfect size for all of my wallet-and-book-and-diaper carrying needs? it really is the perfect bag.
but.
i have never had a bag give me such bad shoulder pain before. i'm not talking about annoying or mildly uncomfortable. i'm talking, 'my whole shoulder is burning and it's all i can think about and it's making me nauseous and it's all i can think about' kind of pain.
what's a girl to do? i think i mentioned that it's the.perfect.bag. plus, i spent more than i typically do on a bag, simply because (that's right) it's so perfect. i can't give it up!
but goshdarnit, pretty soon here, i'm not going to have a shoulder to carry it on because i sawed it off with a pocket knife to alleviate the pain. though i'm not so sure that being self-inducedly shoulderless (and, resultingly, also armless) is all that Womanly.
what is a girl to do?
let's do it, a-break it down!
(yo gabba gabba, anyone?!)
so. i totally failed at posting a video yesterday, even though y'all came through for me and sent me some great ones! but it was a weird day, and i didn't even get a chance to check my email until 11:00 last night, so forgive me. i'll do better next week.
what could have possibly occupied all my time yesterday? well, thanks for asking (you're so kind and inquisitive!). i'll go right ahead and describe it to you in list-form:
number of hours spent in the car: 4.5
number of terrible radio stations on the way: 1,000,000.
number of doctor appointments scheduled: 1
number of offices visited in an attempt to find the right one: 4
number of offices in which i cried at the reception desk: 1
number of offices in which i spent nearly 2 hours of my life: 1
number of insurance providers that claim to cover me: 0
number of full-caf, tons-of-creamer coffees used to self-medicate: 2
number of hours spent napping in someone else's bed: 1!
number of People Magazine cover-story exposes read in their entirety: 2
number of husbands with the flu: 1
number of hours spent cleaning the house in anticipation of today's appraisal: 2.5
number of clean, ready-to-be-folded loads of laundry staring me in the face as i type this: a guesstimated 7
i should probably go eat some cereal and watch friends and avoid folding laundry at all costs. (much of the laundry is from easter sunday, which shows you i'm getting pretty proficient at procrastination and avoidance). just another day in the life of paige van voorst.
so. i totally failed at posting a video yesterday, even though y'all came through for me and sent me some great ones! but it was a weird day, and i didn't even get a chance to check my email until 11:00 last night, so forgive me. i'll do better next week.
what could have possibly occupied all my time yesterday? well, thanks for asking (you're so kind and inquisitive!). i'll go right ahead and describe it to you in list-form:
number of hours spent in the car: 4.5
number of terrible radio stations on the way: 1,000,000.
number of doctor appointments scheduled: 1
number of offices visited in an attempt to find the right one: 4
number of offices in which i cried at the reception desk: 1
number of offices in which i spent nearly 2 hours of my life: 1
number of insurance providers that claim to cover me: 0
number of full-caf, tons-of-creamer coffees used to self-medicate: 2
number of hours spent napping in someone else's bed: 1!
number of People Magazine cover-story exposes read in their entirety: 2
number of husbands with the flu: 1
number of hours spent cleaning the house in anticipation of today's appraisal: 2.5
number of clean, ready-to-be-folded loads of laundry staring me in the face as i type this: a guesstimated 7
i should probably go eat some cereal and watch friends and avoid folding laundry at all costs. (much of the laundry is from easter sunday, which shows you i'm getting pretty proficient at procrastination and avoidance). just another day in the life of paige van voorst.
on today's agenda:
1. going to the eye doctor's office, yet again, to have penelope's glasses fixed, yet again. i swear we're in there about once every two weeks. this time it's because she got bored on the drive home from waterloo this weekend, so she decided to take them off and do...something...to them. i really have no idea how she managed it, but both ear pieces came off and a lens popped out. so they're barely even recognizeable as glasses.
2. bemoaning the change of weather from eighty degrees and sunny yesterday (i got sunburned! while wearing a tank top! while working in the yard!) to fifty degrees and rainy today. it's supposed to snow on thursday.
which brings me to a tangent on my love/hate relationship with iowa weather. obviously, i love the seasons. most people do, i'd guess, unless those people are stupid. but wow, there's a lot of drama in iowa regarding the weather. just the other afternoon i was taking a soak (that's my quaint way of saying 'bath') during naptime, and the tornado sirens started going off. before i had a chance to look at the sky (normal-grey, not greeny-grey, so no worries there) and evidence of wind (breezy, but not dead-still or gusting, so apparently these were just practice sirens), the single panicked thought popped into my mind: 'ohp, it's spring in iowa and you should never find yourself naked for longer than absolutely necessary because you never know when the wind is going to pick up your house and fling you directly onto the mayor's dining room table.'
moral of the story: i quickly got out of the tub after that, both to avoid voyeurism in the event of a twister and to not be in a body of water should lightning strike. if there's one silver lining to iowa weather, it's that i'm clearly prepared for a myriad of unlikely conditions at the hands of extreme weather. i'll probably also be able to sense the second armageddon starts.
2. bemoaning the change of weather from eighty degrees and sunny yesterday (i got sunburned! while wearing a tank top! while working in the yard!) to fifty degrees and rainy today. it's supposed to snow on thursday.
which brings me to a tangent on my love/hate relationship with iowa weather. obviously, i love the seasons. most people do, i'd guess, unless those people are stupid. but wow, there's a lot of drama in iowa regarding the weather. just the other afternoon i was taking a soak (that's my quaint way of saying 'bath') during naptime, and the tornado sirens started going off. before i had a chance to look at the sky (normal-grey, not greeny-grey, so no worries there) and evidence of wind (breezy, but not dead-still or gusting, so apparently these were just practice sirens), the single panicked thought popped into my mind: 'ohp, it's spring in iowa and you should never find yourself naked for longer than absolutely necessary because you never know when the wind is going to pick up your house and fling you directly onto the mayor's dining room table.'
moral of the story: i quickly got out of the tub after that, both to avoid voyeurism in the event of a twister and to not be in a body of water should lightning strike. if there's one silver lining to iowa weather, it's that i'm clearly prepared for a myriad of unlikely conditions at the hands of extreme weather. i'll probably also be able to sense the second armageddon starts.
the 'spicy curry' award goes to finneas.
well, it wasn't curry, specifically. but it was spicy.
on saturday, we took a long and pointless trip to waterloo to look at houses. major flop and we are still homeless come june 26. but the silver lining of all of that is that we got to experience famous dave's barbecue for the first time. (it was six pm when we finished looking at houses, and the kids hadn't had much of a nap that day, and we were all on the brink of cagefighting each other, so we figured we should find food before coming home.) and the silver lining of that is that i can now say with confidence that finneas could probably eat molten lava without blinking an eye.
that kid downed baked beans and brisket that were definitely not mild. i was sweating as i ate it. and to top it all off, he kept pilfering pickles off my plate, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but maybe i should clarify that they were listed on the menu as "hellfire pickles." didn't even flinch, just stuffed them into his mouth with his tiny little fist.
i have not yet seen it come out the other end, and i am very afraid.
on saturday, we took a long and pointless trip to waterloo to look at houses. major flop and we are still homeless come june 26. but the silver lining of all of that is that we got to experience famous dave's barbecue for the first time. (it was six pm when we finished looking at houses, and the kids hadn't had much of a nap that day, and we were all on the brink of cagefighting each other, so we figured we should find food before coming home.) and the silver lining of that is that i can now say with confidence that finneas could probably eat molten lava without blinking an eye.
that kid downed baked beans and brisket that were definitely not mild. i was sweating as i ate it. and to top it all off, he kept pilfering pickles off my plate, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but maybe i should clarify that they were listed on the menu as "hellfire pickles." didn't even flinch, just stuffed them into his mouth with his tiny little fist.
i have not yet seen it come out the other end, and i am very afraid.
the weekly 'what's up' (books edition, apparently.)
i really have no idea how we spent this week; it has seriously flown by. i DO know that the weather has been amazing for the last few days and we tried to get outside most days. (not to mention, i'm reading 'last child in the woods' and it's burdening me with guilt, shame, and fear over the fact that our kids don't play outside all day, every day because they're going to develop ADHD or cultural autism or nature-deficit disorder. two of those three things are even made up by the author, so you can see that the book is pretty convincing.)
speaking of reading, now that the weather is turning, i'm back into my groove of wanting to read at every opportunity. i don't know why i do that, but every spring and summer i am ravenous for books. this week i have finished 'the widow of the south' and worked on 'last child in the woods,' 'reader's digest 1001 hints and tips for your garden,' and 'the hidden art of homemaking.' i desperately want to get through these so i can grab up some michael pollan and wendell berry from the library - you know, it will be gardening season soon! (not that i'm planning on planting on anything this year other than some early-crop peas, but nothing like gardening season to make me want to overhaul my diet and environmental legislation and our culture's approach to food while i'm at it. nbd.)
and speaking of books, i got the following stash in the mail from a friend this week and am DYING to get into all of these (i already started the green one and have looked through 'the art of instruction'; i have read 'little heathens' every spring for the last three years, so i bet i'll be starting that one soon as well.)
okay, what else this week?
i finally got my first prenatal appointment scheduled for next week in waterloo. i have no idea what to expect as far as the reputation of the midwives or condition of the hospital, etc, which is actually really unnerving. so i'm glad, if only for that reason, to finally get a chance to find out what i'm in for.
yesterday a friend watched the big kids for me so that finneas and i could go to waterloo and look at houses. as much as i hate to admit it (because i like to think of myself as highly judgmental of waterloo), it was promising. there's a house finneas is pretty excited about. he may or may not have woken up this morning thinking about the perfect place to put a skylight and how the house would look if the carpet was replaced with hardwoods.
womanly arts update: nails left unbitten, pants donned most days, and i purchased three new pairs of shoes and a new purse so that i can work on my goal of no longer looking like a homeless fareway bagboy.
today's agenda includes bawling like a baby when my friend alyssa moves away, and cleaning out my flower beds.
happy friday!
speaking of reading, now that the weather is turning, i'm back into my groove of wanting to read at every opportunity. i don't know why i do that, but every spring and summer i am ravenous for books. this week i have finished 'the widow of the south' and worked on 'last child in the woods,' 'reader's digest 1001 hints and tips for your garden,' and 'the hidden art of homemaking.' i desperately want to get through these so i can grab up some michael pollan and wendell berry from the library - you know, it will be gardening season soon! (not that i'm planning on planting on anything this year other than some early-crop peas, but nothing like gardening season to make me want to overhaul my diet and environmental legislation and our culture's approach to food while i'm at it. nbd.)
and speaking of books, i got the following stash in the mail from a friend this week and am DYING to get into all of these (i already started the green one and have looked through 'the art of instruction'; i have read 'little heathens' every spring for the last three years, so i bet i'll be starting that one soon as well.)
okay, what else this week?
i finally got my first prenatal appointment scheduled for next week in waterloo. i have no idea what to expect as far as the reputation of the midwives or condition of the hospital, etc, which is actually really unnerving. so i'm glad, if only for that reason, to finally get a chance to find out what i'm in for.
maybe you can't see it here, but the front of my shirt is smeared with guacamole. #classitup
yesterday a friend watched the big kids for me so that finneas and i could go to waterloo and look at houses. as much as i hate to admit it (because i like to think of myself as highly judgmental of waterloo), it was promising. there's a house finneas is pretty excited about. he may or may not have woken up this morning thinking about the perfect place to put a skylight and how the house would look if the carpet was replaced with hardwoods.
womanly arts update: nails left unbitten, pants donned most days, and i purchased three new pairs of shoes and a new purse so that i can work on my goal of no longer looking like a homeless fareway bagboy.
today's agenda includes bawling like a baby when my friend alyssa moves away, and cleaning out my flower beds.
happy friday!
easter! easter! read all about it!
easter was the. funnest. ever.
we had a bunch of people over, including some family, friends and a couple people i had never met before in my life. the wine was brought by a genuine, full-blooded, native-speaking italian, for crying out loud. it was like a movie.
in all, there were eleven adults plus the v.v. kids. this photo doesn't even include the card table we added onto the end for more seating. it was glorious, perfect madness! i love having people over for big meals - it is seriously one of the best parts of life! probably because i get to use my garage sale linens, and set out $2 aldi tulips and free lemons as centerpieces, and look like i have things pulled together. (i don't.)
oh, and here's a later photo of everyone, including me stuffing my face:
the menu:
..cinnamon rolls for breakfast (paula deen's recipe mixed with another recipe that uses ice cream in the caramel sauce. noodle on that sentence for a second.)
..salt-crusted beef tenderloin with salsa-stuff. (6-star rating from yours truly)
..ham, brought by a friend.
..lemon-dressed potatoes and carrots that i forgot to make, so it got 5 stars for being so easy.
..homemade bread.
..salad, which got one star because no one ate it, and the ones that did forgot to put salad dressing on it, and we have a bunch of leftovers that todd hates because there are (now-slimy) pears inside. fail.
..cheesy potatoes brought by a friend. (i'll get the recipe and share it - so yummy!)
..green beans with toasted almonds and dried cranberries, made by my mother dearest.
..homemade chocolate cake with insane ganache. this cake will make you want to kill people because you're on a sugar high and suddenly paranoid that everyone around you is trying to take your cake. so eat it at your own risk, but seriously. SO. GOOD.
..homemade lemonade, red wine, and store brand soda to drink. class it up.
the fam was looking pretty dapper (at least before penelope got some kind of orange saucey stuff on her sweater and lost her barrette. it's always something).
and here's a sweet instagram photo taken by my close friend alyssa, who is moving away on friday, to my heart's unending grief:
okay, quick story about my dress, and then i'm done:
i looked EVERYWHERE for a good two weeks before easter to find a decent easter dress. is that really too much to ask for? but even the crazy-expensive dresses at places like von maur were just 'meh.' so by the friday before easter, i had just resolved to wear last year's dress and stop looking for anything new. AND THEN! AT TARGET! TWO DAYS BEFORE EASTER! FOR DIRT CHEAP! i found The One, in all its boatnecked, bright-floraled glory. and also some on-sale shoes. and also some cute new jewelry. all for less than half the price of the von maur dresses. and it was perfectly, perfectly Me.
and that was our easter!
we had a bunch of people over, including some family, friends and a couple people i had never met before in my life. the wine was brought by a genuine, full-blooded, native-speaking italian, for crying out loud. it was like a movie.
in all, there were eleven adults plus the v.v. kids. this photo doesn't even include the card table we added onto the end for more seating. it was glorious, perfect madness! i love having people over for big meals - it is seriously one of the best parts of life! probably because i get to use my garage sale linens, and set out $2 aldi tulips and free lemons as centerpieces, and look like i have things pulled together. (i don't.)
oh, and here's a later photo of everyone, including me stuffing my face:
the menu:
..cinnamon rolls for breakfast (paula deen's recipe mixed with another recipe that uses ice cream in the caramel sauce. noodle on that sentence for a second.)
..salt-crusted beef tenderloin with salsa-stuff. (6-star rating from yours truly)
..ham, brought by a friend.
..lemon-dressed potatoes and carrots that i forgot to make, so it got 5 stars for being so easy.
..homemade bread.
..salad, which got one star because no one ate it, and the ones that did forgot to put salad dressing on it, and we have a bunch of leftovers that todd hates because there are (now-slimy) pears inside. fail.
..cheesy potatoes brought by a friend. (i'll get the recipe and share it - so yummy!)
..green beans with toasted almonds and dried cranberries, made by my mother dearest.
..homemade chocolate cake with insane ganache. this cake will make you want to kill people because you're on a sugar high and suddenly paranoid that everyone around you is trying to take your cake. so eat it at your own risk, but seriously. SO. GOOD.
..homemade lemonade, red wine, and store brand soda to drink. class it up.
the fam was looking pretty dapper (at least before penelope got some kind of orange saucey stuff on her sweater and lost her barrette. it's always something).
and here's a sweet instagram photo taken by my close friend alyssa, who is moving away on friday, to my heart's unending grief:
okay, quick story about my dress, and then i'm done:
i looked EVERYWHERE for a good two weeks before easter to find a decent easter dress. is that really too much to ask for? but even the crazy-expensive dresses at places like von maur were just 'meh.' so by the friday before easter, i had just resolved to wear last year's dress and stop looking for anything new. AND THEN! AT TARGET! TWO DAYS BEFORE EASTER! FOR DIRT CHEAP! i found The One, in all its boatnecked, bright-floraled glory. and also some on-sale shoes. and also some cute new jewelry. all for less than half the price of the von maur dresses. and it was perfectly, perfectly Me.
and that was our easter!
video vednesday: (crickets chirping)
hey players. (i actually wanted to say, 'hey playaaaaz,' but i wondered if that sounded like i was trying too hard. not sure at what, but trying too hard at something. also, it's a commonly known fact that only d-bags use unnecessary z's when they spell stuff.)
anyway. it is wednesday. or, as it is known in the van voorst house, 'vednesday.' (or, as it is known by the van voorst spawn, 'TRASH TRUCK DAY!') yes, it is video vednesday and i don't have a video. which kind of strips me of the authority to use a weird, innappropriate consonant at the beginning of 'vednesday.' which means it's back to being tired old wednesday, the day of the week where i need a little pick-me-up because life is still horrible and the rest of the week is still stretched out indefinitely before me. calling it boring, normal old 'wednesday' does nothing for me.
what i'm getting at is this: my bank of sweet vids is all shrivelly and dried up and blowing away in the wind, like i imagine my post-menopausal uterus will be after all of this crazy-go-nuts procreation activity. i need your help! (with the bank of vids, not the potential uterus thing.) if you've got any funny videos you think would keep me or anyone else from wanting to die midweek, send them my way!
fine print:
1. i'll give credit where credit is due.
2. i might not use every one sent to me. (i have discerning taste in crappy memes and homegrown videos. i'm like the fancy feast cat, where you're all, 'yeah, you think you're discerning, but really, Cat? it's still just cat food that looks like someone ate it before it was offered to you, it's just in a crystal goblet. you got had.' wait. what? trust me, the metaphor makes sense in my head.)
3. it has to be clean. and probably has to be funny.
4. if it has hip-hop music so i can drop down and get my crazy on, it's a shoe-in.
thanks for the help, playaaaaz.
anyway. it is wednesday. or, as it is known in the van voorst house, 'vednesday.' (or, as it is known by the van voorst spawn, 'TRASH TRUCK DAY!') yes, it is video vednesday and i don't have a video. which kind of strips me of the authority to use a weird, innappropriate consonant at the beginning of 'vednesday.' which means it's back to being tired old wednesday, the day of the week where i need a little pick-me-up because life is still horrible and the rest of the week is still stretched out indefinitely before me. calling it boring, normal old 'wednesday' does nothing for me.
what i'm getting at is this: my bank of sweet vids is all shrivelly and dried up and blowing away in the wind, like i imagine my post-menopausal uterus will be after all of this crazy-go-nuts procreation activity. i need your help! (with the bank of vids, not the potential uterus thing.) if you've got any funny videos you think would keep me or anyone else from wanting to die midweek, send them my way!
fine print:
1. i'll give credit where credit is due.
2. i might not use every one sent to me. (i have discerning taste in crappy memes and homegrown videos. i'm like the fancy feast cat, where you're all, 'yeah, you think you're discerning, but really, Cat? it's still just cat food that looks like someone ate it before it was offered to you, it's just in a crystal goblet. you got had.' wait. what? trust me, the metaphor makes sense in my head.)
3. it has to be clean. and probably has to be funny.
4. if it has hip-hop music so i can drop down and get my crazy on, it's a shoe-in.
thanks for the help, playaaaaz.
hey! long time no blog!
yikes. i'm a little behind in blogging, huh? well, i feel like making some excuses, so here they are: first, i'm kind of under the weather. (must have partied a little too hearty on easter. i'll post about that later this week.) second, the kids are under the weather. third, the computer cord is under the weather. by which i mean, it completely died and was no more. but in an easter miracle, it was resurrected back to life last night! (that's a lie; todd had to go buy a new one. but still. it feels miraculous that my computer is working this morning, so we'll go with it.)
anyway. i have a lot to tell you, like how i encased a beef tenderloin in four pounds of salt and cooked it with my fingers crossed and it turned out DELICIOUS. and how i put anchovies in this salsa-stuff i made for the beef tenderloin, but i didn't tell anyone they were in there, but how the salsa tasted awesome anyway. (easter joke's on them.) and how this tanning lotion i've been using has not turned me into a circus peanut, but how i have these orange rings around my ankles where i got a little lackadaisical with the whole "even application" rule. and how i've been looking up municipal laws regarding chicken keeping because GOOD HEAVENS DO I WANT CHICKENS. (and also an urban homestead where i grow all my own grains and harvest and weave my own cotton. that's a lie but you could see where i might go there.)
see? there's a lot to tell you. but there's so little time this morning! so i promise to be better about posting blogs through the rest of this week and not be such a lazy slacker anymore.
anyway. i have a lot to tell you, like how i encased a beef tenderloin in four pounds of salt and cooked it with my fingers crossed and it turned out DELICIOUS. and how i put anchovies in this salsa-stuff i made for the beef tenderloin, but i didn't tell anyone they were in there, but how the salsa tasted awesome anyway. (easter joke's on them.) and how this tanning lotion i've been using has not turned me into a circus peanut, but how i have these orange rings around my ankles where i got a little lackadaisical with the whole "even application" rule. and how i've been looking up municipal laws regarding chicken keeping because GOOD HEAVENS DO I WANT CHICKENS. (and also an urban homestead where i grow all my own grains and harvest and weave my own cotton. that's a lie but you could see where i might go there.)
see? there's a lot to tell you. but there's so little time this morning! so i promise to be better about posting blogs through the rest of this week and not be such a lazy slacker anymore.
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