i should have seen this coming.

Well.  Apparently I got what was coming to me when I audaciously posted a blog yesterday about my brazen dishonesty in the name of tanning.  I got burned.  Burned bad.  And I don't mean that in any kind of metaphorical or analogous way.  I mean I literally got a major sunburn.  (Is it still a sunburn when you're sunless tanning?  Is it then a sunlessburn?)

I feel like I've been pickled.

That just goes to show you that God's justice prevails against us liars.  Also, I think it shows you that God likes a good joke, because I look like the strawberry version of Violet Beauregarde, and that has to be funny from where he's sitting.  How on earth he's restraining himself from just rolling me around like a swollen, bright red marble is beyond me.

Whatever the case, it seems like an apt consequence for being driven to deception by my vanity.  If I were one to tolerate the misuse of the word 'ironic,' I would say something about how ironic it is that I went tanning so I wouldn't look like an albino, and I came out looking like fake crab meat.  So I guess I accomplished that particular life goal.

Ironic.