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i knew you couldn't get enough.

here, have another story about my apartment managers and the compelling soap opera that was my move-out experience.

the day i was at the apartment to check my email, which really turned into the day i was sleuthing around for the vacuum bandit, which really turned into the day when i went home with a broken vacuum and a broken heart and a newfound bitterness toward my apartment managers that will probably have to be therapized out... i made sure to tell them like fourteen or thirty-five times that I WOULD BE BACK ON FRIDAY TO CLEAN THE APARTMENT.  DID YOU HEAR ME?! FRIDAY. TO CLEAN.  ON FRIDAY.  NOT ON SATURDAY.  OR THURSDAY.  OR IN JULY.  NO, I WILL BE THERE ON FRIDAY.  THAT STARTS WITH AN 'F' AND ENDS WITH A 'FRIDAY.'  FRIDAY. 

don't make me go all rebecca black on you.  i will sing you the song if it helps you remember that i will be here on FRIDAY.

so...friday gets here, and i go to clean.  and i walk up to my apartment and not only is the door unlocked and standing open, but there is an ex-jehovah's witness laying new carpet in EVERY. ROOM.  convenient to clean around, by the way, and also i'll get to the jehovah's witness thing later.  so i walk down the hall, kids in tow, and have yet another conversation with the managers.

paige:  hey, what's up with the random guy in my apartment?

mrs. manager: that's toby.  he's laying carpet.  he sometimes brings his kids with him, but he's by himself today.

p: that's hilarious.  also, i TOLD you i would be here cleaning.

mrs. m: oh yeah, he knows you'll be here.

p: well, as long as he knows, then.


funny, toby knew that i would be at my apartment, but i didn't know toby would be there.  does something seem backwards about that?  so penelope napped in the master bathroom and atticus napped in the master closet while i stayed on the linoleum in the kitchen and toby had free-reign of the rest of the place. 

and also? he was there for a total of five hours.

good thing he was an ex-jehovah's witness, or we would have had nothing to talk about.  but lucky him, he got to hear all about how jesus really IS god and that there really IS a hell.  so there was that.

then at 3:15, i get a knock on the door:

mr. manager: so, i should probably tell you that the new people are moving in tomorrow.

paige: wait, not next wednesday like you originally told me?

mr. m: nope.  you think you'll be done cleaning in time?

p: uh, i guess i have to be.  good to know i'm on a time crunch.


so then i tried to call the utilities company to get our utilities cancelled starting the next morning, but because it was memorial day weekend, they couldn't cancel them until the following tuesday.  so we got to pay for the new tenants' lights and water and air conditioning for the whole long weekend because mr. manager didn't think it important to tell me before 3:15 the afternoon before the fact that our apartment was turning over early.

then, about 45 minutes later, mrs. manager just walks in to show the new tenants the new carpet.  no knock or anything.

so...now that it's nearly a week removed and i'm still super pissed about it all, i'm realizing i should probably forgive them and move on with my life because in the grand scheme of things it's really no big deal and also, jesus tells me to forgive them and also, it's over and done with and also, what's the point and also, therapy is expensive and also, telling this story without fail leaves me with rebecca black running through my head and it's just not worth it.

BUT COME ON PEOPLE.

and i'm glad to be a homeowner, where at least i know i'm freeeeeeeeee....

1 comment :

Saved by grace said...

Huge stink!!!!

When we lived in Waverly, we had a similar situation with our landlord. Let's just say that he knew (we had written him a letter, called him, and talked to him in person) that we were moving out on a certain day and that we were paying through the end of the month so we could come back and clean. We gave him 60 day notice and what does he decide to do the day he knew we were loading up a truck? Put a new roof on without telling us - we woke up to the thumping on the roof and a huge truck in our driveway and roofing debris everywhere. THEN, we come back a few days later to double check everything and find someone elses junk in our duplex because he told the new tenants it was okay but failed to tell us. Then he said we left a huge mess but it was the new tenants who left their crap everywhere and tracked in mud on the clean carpet.

Sometimes I think I am still in the forgiving process.