wuw.
this week has been weird, i'm not going to lie. todd spent friday and saturday at an elders' retreat, so i was flying solo with the kids. we all ended up living through it, but not without much gnashing of teeth.
saturday night, finneas came down with some kind of barf-and-fever virus, though he ended up in relatively high spirits throughout the day, all things considered.
this one is still wonderful (and four weeks old as of yesterday!), and this week included multiple six-hour sleeping stretches at night! as a result, i'm feeling as fresh as morning dew.
the thing that's taking the most adjusting to: all the kids needing to be in a constant four-foot-radius of yours truly. considering i spend a significant amount of time on the couch nursing, rocking, reading board books, etc, our life has come to look like this most of the time:
and that is (literally) what our week looked like. how was yours?
saturday night, finneas came down with some kind of barf-and-fever virus, though he ended up in relatively high spirits throughout the day, all things considered.
(he spent plenty of time sucking on his fingers and cuddling his blankie)
this one is still wonderful (and four weeks old as of yesterday!), and this week included multiple six-hour sleeping stretches at night! as a result, i'm feeling as fresh as morning dew.
the thing that's taking the most adjusting to: all the kids needing to be in a constant four-foot-radius of yours truly. considering i spend a significant amount of time on the couch nursing, rocking, reading board books, etc, our life has come to look like this most of the time:
(you will notice the couch holds nearly the whole family, a change of clothes for me, wipes, a dirty diaper that hasn't gotten trashed yet, books, and extra sleeping accoutrements, as well as children in various stages of undress. we should be set for pretty much anything that befalls us.)
and that is (literally) what our week looked like. how was yours?
video vednesday: hey, s'me. trale. lewous. skittles is...hrrrrrr...checka this out.
i wish my life included this dance every. day.
(for the original hilarious trale lewous commercials, check out this past video vednesday post. you won't be sorry you did.)
(for the original hilarious trale lewous commercials, check out this past video vednesday post. you won't be sorry you did.)
what you don't need for a newborn. i'm telling you, don't register for it.
hey, new moms. just to save you the money and the regret that comes from buying all the stuff those stupid registry lists say you need but that you really don't. (repost from here.)
i thought i'd put together a list of things the registries act like you can't live without but you really can (and arguably should).
1. specialized diaper pail or system. your house will smell like baby crap no matter what you do or how much money you spend on something gimmicky. keep your outside dumpster close to the door and toss dirty diapers there, or just get a normal cheapie lidded trash can and empty it regularly.
2. cutie patootie slings. get the mammoth, ergonomically-designed kind. anything flimsy or one-shouldered will only get used occasionally and for short spurts at a time. migraines will abound. my personal recommendation is the moby wrap, although it is a bit awkward to put on and take off but boy howdie is it comfy. (when you put your baby in it, it's like you've got a 10-pound cloud strapped to you. it's still 10 pounds, but something ought to be said for the fact that it's a cloud.)
3. full-on outfits for really new babies. they sleep like 20 hours a day at first, so the closer an outfit resembles pajamas, the more likely you are to use it. and covet it for yourself.
4. expensive baby detergents and stain removers. this one might be a bit more controversial, since i know some babies have really sensitive skin and some detergents are especially harsh (anything with live enzymes in it, like tide, might cause more problems). but i would say more than anything it's fabric softeners and dryer sheets that are irritating to sensitive skin, and just avoiding these and using your normal detergent is way more economical. plus then you don't have to wash baby clothes separately from the rest of the family's, saving on water usage. basic baby hygeine on a budget? boom, roasted.
5. baby toys. maybe a couple to hang from the carseat. but i swear they'll ignore it for the first six months and after that they'll only want to chew on your tupperware instead, so why bother?
6. a special bathtub. while convenient, it's unnecessary if you keep your kitchen sink clean. i'm thinking about getting rid of our baby tub, but i'll make that call after i see whether or not the convenience factor is worth keeping it around. (update: haven't missed it for the newborn stage, but haven't made the call for the bigger-infant stages yet.)
7. tons of noisy and/or bulky 'holding' devices. yes, you definitely need a couple. probably a swing or bouncy seat, an exersaucery-thing and a bumbo. but i promise you will not need an exersaucer, a johnny jump-up, a jumparoo and a walker. pick one and pocket the cash and the extra storage space that the other ones would suck up. i would recommend getting something that's easily moved from place to place and not too bulky to be centrally located in your most-used rooms. my kids have all LOVED the bouncy seat that my friend jamie picked up for me on the side of the road by someone's trash can. babies aren't real housewives. they're happy to use whatever works even if you found it in a dumpster. (or on craigslist, which is another great option as long as you don't get yourself raped, pillaged or murdered when you go to pick it up. craigslist is getting scary.)
8. most things labeled 'baby einstein' or 'genius infant' or 'teach your baby to sign in binary.' i really believe that the things babies need to know and are capable of learning, they're equipped to receive without fancy or expensive stuff. they like faces. they like being talked to and held. they like looking at random stuff. mostly, babies are equipped to like stuff that is FREE. which means New Baby and i have a lot in common.
9. those weird, puffy crib quilts. they're really cute, but no one ever puts them to use because they don't seem warm and they are quite likely to suffocate a child to death. both valid reasons to not invest tons of money in one, in my opinion.
10. specialty dishwasher attachments for bottley things. i never put my bottles/accessories in the dishwasher because i was always afraid that the water spots on them were old, dried milk. yuck. plus, if you only have a couple of bottles or if you don't run your dishwasher every day (both true at our house) you're probably going to need to reuse a bottle before the dishwasher could get it clean anyway. buy a two-dollar bottle brush and rinse everything well and you should be set.
11. those weird head-to-toe snowsuit things. newsflash: babies do not play in the snow. and in the 3.2 seconds it takes to get them from the door to the car, most can be effectively bundled with a hat and a warm blanket or two over the top of the carseat. or gimmickier, but quite effective, a bundle me.
12. specialty bath toys. a cup, some tupperware, a spoon. maybe some dish soap bubbles when they're older. and done.
13. baby powder. i do not know anyone who uses this. i don't even know what it's for. i would also lump in large jars of petroleum jelly in here. not sure what it's used for other than lubing up rectal thermometers and about a week's worth of circumcision care, and in either case it's very concerning if you need such a large jar of it.
14. half the weird stuff that comes in a baby grooming kit. you will get a cheapo but very effective baby hairbrush at the hospital. ditto for a nose sucker thing. and any time your baby needs a medicine dropper, it will come with the medication. and what anyone uses tweezers or tiny scissors for on a baby, i don't know. why spend the extra money on this stuff? the major exception is baby nail clippers - NECESSARY. and how. get the kind that are normal-hand-sized with a tiny clipper on the end (ours have big bulbous handle things), not the kind where the whole clipper is tiny and you can't see what the crap you're doing. you will bloody your kid's hands faster than something really fast.
15. wipes warmer. your kid will just be thankful (or should be) that you're not making them crawl around in their own crap all day. cold wipes teach character and gratitude, that's what i say. (plus wipes warmers just remind me of whatever adam sandler movie it is where they give him a hot towel on the plane and he doesn't know what to do with it so he just wipes his face and puts it back in the bowl.)
16. baby bath robe. i can't even imagine when a baby would wear one of these if you have a hooded towel and, you know, clothing for him. except for in the evening when he's also wearing a fedora and smoking a cigar while reading an antique, leather-bound copy of milton. so maybe consider investing in one if your baby prefers to spend his leisure time thusly. otherwise, un.necessary.
17. specialty make-your-own-baby-food-at-home gear. do you have a blender or food processor and some ice cube trays? you're set. or do what i do and skip the baby food phase altogether and just mush some normal-people dinner up after a while.
anything else that should make the list? anything on here that you've actually gotten a lot of use out of?
i thought i'd put together a list of things the registries act like you can't live without but you really can (and arguably should).
1. specialized diaper pail or system. your house will smell like baby crap no matter what you do or how much money you spend on something gimmicky. keep your outside dumpster close to the door and toss dirty diapers there, or just get a normal cheapie lidded trash can and empty it regularly.
2. cutie patootie slings. get the mammoth, ergonomically-designed kind. anything flimsy or one-shouldered will only get used occasionally and for short spurts at a time. migraines will abound. my personal recommendation is the moby wrap, although it is a bit awkward to put on and take off but boy howdie is it comfy. (when you put your baby in it, it's like you've got a 10-pound cloud strapped to you. it's still 10 pounds, but something ought to be said for the fact that it's a cloud.)
3. full-on outfits for really new babies. they sleep like 20 hours a day at first, so the closer an outfit resembles pajamas, the more likely you are to use it. and covet it for yourself.
4. expensive baby detergents and stain removers. this one might be a bit more controversial, since i know some babies have really sensitive skin and some detergents are especially harsh (anything with live enzymes in it, like tide, might cause more problems). but i would say more than anything it's fabric softeners and dryer sheets that are irritating to sensitive skin, and just avoiding these and using your normal detergent is way more economical. plus then you don't have to wash baby clothes separately from the rest of the family's, saving on water usage. basic baby hygeine on a budget? boom, roasted.
5. baby toys. maybe a couple to hang from the carseat. but i swear they'll ignore it for the first six months and after that they'll only want to chew on your tupperware instead, so why bother?
6. a special bathtub. while convenient, it's unnecessary if you keep your kitchen sink clean. i'm thinking about getting rid of our baby tub, but i'll make that call after i see whether or not the convenience factor is worth keeping it around. (update: haven't missed it for the newborn stage, but haven't made the call for the bigger-infant stages yet.)
7. tons of noisy and/or bulky 'holding' devices. yes, you definitely need a couple. probably a swing or bouncy seat, an exersaucery-thing and a bumbo. but i promise you will not need an exersaucer, a johnny jump-up, a jumparoo and a walker. pick one and pocket the cash and the extra storage space that the other ones would suck up. i would recommend getting something that's easily moved from place to place and not too bulky to be centrally located in your most-used rooms. my kids have all LOVED the bouncy seat that my friend jamie picked up for me on the side of the road by someone's trash can. babies aren't real housewives. they're happy to use whatever works even if you found it in a dumpster. (or on craigslist, which is another great option as long as you don't get yourself raped, pillaged or murdered when you go to pick it up. craigslist is getting scary.)
8. most things labeled 'baby einstein' or 'genius infant' or 'teach your baby to sign in binary.' i really believe that the things babies need to know and are capable of learning, they're equipped to receive without fancy or expensive stuff. they like faces. they like being talked to and held. they like looking at random stuff. mostly, babies are equipped to like stuff that is FREE. which means New Baby and i have a lot in common.
9. those weird, puffy crib quilts. they're really cute, but no one ever puts them to use because they don't seem warm and they are quite likely to suffocate a child to death. both valid reasons to not invest tons of money in one, in my opinion.
10. specialty dishwasher attachments for bottley things. i never put my bottles/accessories in the dishwasher because i was always afraid that the water spots on them were old, dried milk. yuck. plus, if you only have a couple of bottles or if you don't run your dishwasher every day (both true at our house) you're probably going to need to reuse a bottle before the dishwasher could get it clean anyway. buy a two-dollar bottle brush and rinse everything well and you should be set.
11. those weird head-to-toe snowsuit things. newsflash: babies do not play in the snow. and in the 3.2 seconds it takes to get them from the door to the car, most can be effectively bundled with a hat and a warm blanket or two over the top of the carseat. or gimmickier, but quite effective, a bundle me.
12. specialty bath toys. a cup, some tupperware, a spoon. maybe some dish soap bubbles when they're older. and done.
13. baby powder. i do not know anyone who uses this. i don't even know what it's for. i would also lump in large jars of petroleum jelly in here. not sure what it's used for other than lubing up rectal thermometers and about a week's worth of circumcision care, and in either case it's very concerning if you need such a large jar of it.
14. half the weird stuff that comes in a baby grooming kit. you will get a cheapo but very effective baby hairbrush at the hospital. ditto for a nose sucker thing. and any time your baby needs a medicine dropper, it will come with the medication. and what anyone uses tweezers or tiny scissors for on a baby, i don't know. why spend the extra money on this stuff? the major exception is baby nail clippers - NECESSARY. and how. get the kind that are normal-hand-sized with a tiny clipper on the end (ours have big bulbous handle things), not the kind where the whole clipper is tiny and you can't see what the crap you're doing. you will bloody your kid's hands faster than something really fast.
15. wipes warmer. your kid will just be thankful (or should be) that you're not making them crawl around in their own crap all day. cold wipes teach character and gratitude, that's what i say. (plus wipes warmers just remind me of whatever adam sandler movie it is where they give him a hot towel on the plane and he doesn't know what to do with it so he just wipes his face and puts it back in the bowl.)
16. baby bath robe. i can't even imagine when a baby would wear one of these if you have a hooded towel and, you know, clothing for him. except for in the evening when he's also wearing a fedora and smoking a cigar while reading an antique, leather-bound copy of milton. so maybe consider investing in one if your baby prefers to spend his leisure time thusly. otherwise, un.necessary.
17. specialty make-your-own-baby-food-at-home gear. do you have a blender or food processor and some ice cube trays? you're set. or do what i do and skip the baby food phase altogether and just mush some normal-people dinner up after a while.
anything else that should make the list? anything on here that you've actually gotten a lot of use out of?
yes, i'm just now showing you photos of this.
i realize laurelai's first bath happened like three weeks ago (wow, has it really been that long?!), but the process is still the same now as it was then, though she's less fresh-and-swollen looking at this point. and who doesn't love looking at photos of newborns? thus, i bring you: Laurelai's First Bath.
i bathe her in the sink, in an enamelware bowl that my 75-year-old father-in-law nostalgically calls 'the piss pot.' i'll probably bathe her in the sink for a good long while, since our single bathroom is ITSY BITSY and there's no room to keep a baby tub in there. hence, piss-pot-bath-time. i can't complain; it's way easier to lean over the sink than the tub, so i actually bathe her as regularly as i should (as opposed to the other smelly monsters running around these parts).
the other up-side of bathing her in the sink is that i just use that little sprayer to rinse out her hair.
(it's so crazy how different she looks already! you don't realize when they're fresh out of the oven how swollen they are for the first few days.)
jlkjlkj
i bathe her in the sink, in an enamelware bowl that my 75-year-old father-in-law nostalgically calls 'the piss pot.' i'll probably bathe her in the sink for a good long while, since our single bathroom is ITSY BITSY and there's no room to keep a baby tub in there. hence, piss-pot-bath-time. i can't complain; it's way easier to lean over the sink than the tub, so i actually bathe her as regularly as i should (as opposed to the other smelly monsters running around these parts).
(check out that paint swatch on the wall. talk about hot stuff. i'm SO EXCITED to paint the kitchen!)
the other up-side of bathing her in the sink is that i just use that little sprayer to rinse out her hair.
(it's so crazy how different she looks already! you don't realize when they're fresh out of the oven how swollen they are for the first few days.)
i can't describe how much i love the photo above. not even sure why. i just do.
jlkjlkj
what's update.
i survived my first week at home with all the kids by myself. not going to lie, it wasn't entirely pleasant. but we did have a few decent days and, as long as i didn't expect to get anything done or do anything well that did get done, things went smoothly, all things considered.
our major milestones this week:
this kid has conquered the first three weeks of life, which she clearly feels pretty good about.
the big kids figured out how to make todd into a living bunk bed. i think it's some kind of modern art.
and this one has run full-force into his terrible twos...a full six months early. fantastic timing. we've had plenty of all-out tantrums this week and, if i'm entirely honest with you, i'm over it. he could knock it off any time now and i'd be fine with it.
and just to prove he's not always a major grump (and less afraid of being up in that tree without a spotter than he was afraid of standing on the chair)...
our major milestones this week:
this kid has conquered the first three weeks of life, which she clearly feels pretty good about.
the big kids figured out how to make todd into a living bunk bed. i think it's some kind of modern art.
and this one has run full-force into his terrible twos...a full six months early. fantastic timing. we've had plenty of all-out tantrums this week and, if i'm entirely honest with you, i'm over it. he could knock it off any time now and i'd be fine with it.
video vednesday: you can trust me.
and here you thought you were being all enigmatic, but they're onto you.
thwr: it's time to supersize your tuesday.
wow, it's been a long time since i've written a 'that's how we roll' post, but lo, today is the day to break that sad cycle. this post brought to you courtesy of mcdonald's.
todd: you should make chicken stock out of 'mighty wings' bones. i bet people would pinterest that.
***
penelope (rubbing barbecue sauce all over her mouth): i'm putting on lipstick!
atticus (copying, by rubbing sweet and sour sauce all over his mouth): me too!
todd: no, atticus, sweet and sour sauce is lip gloss. only barbecue sauce is lipstick.
***
penelope: how do they get the chicken in the chicken nuggets?
***
todd: you guys sure are affectionate on mcdonald's night.
me: it's probably all those crazy endorphins your brain releases when you eat mcdonald's.
todd: you mean McDorphins.
***
and that's how we roll.
todd: you should make chicken stock out of 'mighty wings' bones. i bet people would pinterest that.
***
penelope (rubbing barbecue sauce all over her mouth): i'm putting on lipstick!
atticus (copying, by rubbing sweet and sour sauce all over his mouth): me too!
todd: no, atticus, sweet and sour sauce is lip gloss. only barbecue sauce is lipstick.
***
penelope: how do they get the chicken in the chicken nuggets?
***
todd: you guys sure are affectionate on mcdonald's night.
me: it's probably all those crazy endorphins your brain releases when you eat mcdonald's.
todd: you mean McDorphins.
***
and that's how we roll.
repost: why i deserve to have my ideas within the walls of a museum someday.
(repost from my newborn days with finneas. still seems entirely fitting.)
everybody says davinci was a genius because he invented the scissors. and also because of a lot of the other genuis-y stuff he managed to do. but i read somewhere legitimate that he only slept like two hours at a time.
and it really makes me think that, as a mother of a newborn, i'm probably just as brilliant as davinci simply because 'brilliant' is often interchangeable with 'crazy,' and if this is how much sleep davinci got on a regular basis, i'm pretty sure he was just crazy sometimes. at my current level of sleep, i could totally see myself saying things like, 'next time we go to war, let's build a giant spoon on wheels and hurl stuff at the infidels with it. plan of attack: owned,' and 'okay, so see these two knives? let's tie them together so we get the cutting power of two knives with the physical exertion of one knife. what should we call it? sizzers. no, wait. scissors. but it will be pronounced the same. i just really like the look of the letter c but the 'kk'-sound can kiss my butt.'
also, i'm pretty sure i could paint the mona lisa. but maybe that's just because i have an unfoundedly high level of self assurance.
everybody says davinci was a genius because he invented the scissors. and also because of a lot of the other genuis-y stuff he managed to do. but i read somewhere legitimate that he only slept like two hours at a time.
and it really makes me think that, as a mother of a newborn, i'm probably just as brilliant as davinci simply because 'brilliant' is often interchangeable with 'crazy,' and if this is how much sleep davinci got on a regular basis, i'm pretty sure he was just crazy sometimes. at my current level of sleep, i could totally see myself saying things like, 'next time we go to war, let's build a giant spoon on wheels and hurl stuff at the infidels with it. plan of attack: owned,' and 'okay, so see these two knives? let's tie them together so we get the cutting power of two knives with the physical exertion of one knife. what should we call it? sizzers. no, wait. scissors. but it will be pronounced the same. i just really like the look of the letter c but the 'kk'-sound can kiss my butt.'
also, i'm pretty sure i could paint the mona lisa. but maybe that's just because i have an unfoundedly high level of self assurance.
weekly harrumph.
before you even ask, i can tell you what we didn't do this week: sleep much.
like i said yesterday, the big kids are gone. the littlest kid is definitely here and proud to make her presence known. especially in the wee hours of the darktime. especially for hours on end in the wee hours of the darktime. blehhhh. complaints, complaints.
oh well. here's what we (meaning i) DID do:
. watch 10 Things I Hate About You and Empire Records. both classic 90's teen movies, and both of which are incredible. i feel like i may have been born 5-10 years too late - the teenage me belonged in the nineties. too bad i was barely 13 when the nineties went kaput (a mere nine years old when Empire came out). so i'm reliving them now that i'm old enough to appreciate them. up next on the list: Clueless. or Empire again. that movie and i were MFEO.
. get pooped on. multiple times. (girlfriend likes to let it go al fresco, if you know what i mean. her timing is impeccable.)
. snuggled my smells-like-delectable-baby-wash kiddo, uninterrupted, for what seems ages and ages. it was wonderful. mostly.
. primed the window frames in the kids' room. i was delusional enough to think that, if we had a smooth week, i could get the kids' room painted while they're gone. after two coats of primer on the trim, i gave up. not worth the failed effort and resulting stress and shame. their room is still ramshackle and torn apart.
. weakly tried to drum up a tiny bit of effort on the 'year of the womanly arts' front. not really for any reason other than i saw a photo of myself and realized how yucky my pearly-yellows have started looking since i've been fueling myself with coffee as much as i have. i started adding baking soda to my toothpaste as i brush, and rinsing with peroxide. four days in, i'm not sure it has made much difference on the color front, but my teeth do consistently feel much cleaner. less gritty-and-simultaneously-slimy. and what's more feminine than getting rid of mouth slime? very little, that's what.
it was really a week of much sitting, much blog reading, much cuddling, many attempts to suppress the anxiety that comes with being forced into what seems like nonproductivity. it was a week of little sleep, less cooking, and no appointments/plans. it was good for me. it was needed. it was really, really hard. and it makes me nervous to start next week, during which i will have all the kids, all day, all by myself. yikes.
like i said yesterday, the big kids are gone. the littlest kid is definitely here and proud to make her presence known. especially in the wee hours of the darktime. especially for hours on end in the wee hours of the darktime. blehhhh. complaints, complaints.
oh well. here's what we (meaning i) DID do:
. watch 10 Things I Hate About You and Empire Records. both classic 90's teen movies, and both of which are incredible. i feel like i may have been born 5-10 years too late - the teenage me belonged in the nineties. too bad i was barely 13 when the nineties went kaput (a mere nine years old when Empire came out). so i'm reliving them now that i'm old enough to appreciate them. up next on the list: Clueless. or Empire again. that movie and i were MFEO.
. get pooped on. multiple times. (girlfriend likes to let it go al fresco, if you know what i mean. her timing is impeccable.)
. snuggled my smells-like-delectable-baby-wash kiddo, uninterrupted, for what seems ages and ages. it was wonderful. mostly.
. primed the window frames in the kids' room. i was delusional enough to think that, if we had a smooth week, i could get the kids' room painted while they're gone. after two coats of primer on the trim, i gave up. not worth the failed effort and resulting stress and shame. their room is still ramshackle and torn apart.
. weakly tried to drum up a tiny bit of effort on the 'year of the womanly arts' front. not really for any reason other than i saw a photo of myself and realized how yucky my pearly-yellows have started looking since i've been fueling myself with coffee as much as i have. i started adding baking soda to my toothpaste as i brush, and rinsing with peroxide. four days in, i'm not sure it has made much difference on the color front, but my teeth do consistently feel much cleaner. less gritty-and-simultaneously-slimy. and what's more feminine than getting rid of mouth slime? very little, that's what.
it was really a week of much sitting, much blog reading, much cuddling, many attempts to suppress the anxiety that comes with being forced into what seems like nonproductivity. it was a week of little sleep, less cooking, and no appointments/plans. it was good for me. it was needed. it was really, really hard. and it makes me nervous to start next week, during which i will have all the kids, all day, all by myself. yikes.
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