growing in my prayer life.

This summer, a friend of mine and I were talking about how we both have kind of sucked at having an actual, thriving prayer life.  Sure, we prayed, but we'd like to grow more committed to the actual act of developing a deeper life of prayer.

So we picked out a book to read through together, and were excited to jump in... but the book was a huge letdown.  Like, for real. We both hated it.  (I don't even think my friend finished it.)  And I was getting ready to just throw in the towel and be all, "I guess that didn't work.  Back to same-old, same-old."

But I was suddenly struck with the conviction that I'd been given God's Word - why was I waiting around for some Christian bookstore pick to light a fire in me?  In the Bible, I'd already been told to pray, been given examples of prayer, and shown stories of people praying.  What more was I looking for?

And I'm apparently not the only one confused about prayer - the disciples even asked Jesus how they should pray.  My problem was that I wasn't even asking.  I just figured that, because it wasn't natural or easy for me, it was okay to wait around until some monumental shift spontaneously occurred inside me, and all of a sudden I found myself happening upon a deep prayer life.  And if it didn't, I'd just continue to think, "Welp, I guess I'm just not a pray-er."

But the thing is, all Christians are called to be pray-ers.  What made me think it was easy or natural for most people?  What made me think that all "prayer warriors" didn't have to commit to it, but instead were just born that way?  And, if it doesn't come easily to me to do something we're all supposed to be thriving in, isn't that my cue to work harder at becoming good at it, rather than my cue to just give up?  How can I be so apathetic towards building a deeper, more dependent relationship with God, simply because I wasn't born with an inherent sense of ease with it all?

Many of the most 'talented' individuals in any field get to the top by a little bit of inborn talent and a crap ton of hard work.  Why would pray-ers be any different?  So if I want to be someone who truly lives a life of thriving, deep prayer, I should be prepared to commit.

So I've been making changes over the last few months.  First of all, that means I've been trying to pray more often.  It also means I've been trying to pray more intentionally - not just assuming that my random prayers throughout the day were a nourishing enough diet to live on, but rather setting aside additional time to focus on nothing other than praying.  And I've been trying to learn more about the actual act of prayer - if Jesus gave the disciples a straight answer when they asked how they should pray, then maybe "how should I pray?" is a valid question.

Does anyone else have difficulty feeling like their prayer life is really nourishing them?  Anyone else wanting or needing to grow in this area?  I am so stinking far from having all the answers!  But I'm slowly learning, and maybe being okay with a slow learning process is at least one of the answers I'm finding.  Next week, I'm going to share more about what my quiet time looks like currently, including how I've gradually implemented a few new habits out of my desire to connect with God more intimately through prayer.