in case you missed it...

Today is Wednesday, but I thought I'd share this week's Marriage Monday vlog.  Because I'm nothing if not an enigma.

ode to the beard.

Oh, Todd's Beard.  You have reached truly Nordic proportions.

I would like to document your grandeur before you bid us a partial and temporary farewell.

I call this one, "Old Timey Wrestler With Beard":

I call this one, "I Want YOU (To Stand Awestruck)":

I call this one, "This Chest Is Almost As Beefy As This Beard, But Only Almost":

I call this one, "Todd Van Voorst: Theologian, Reformer, Claims Adjuster, Master of Fate, Grower of Beard":

Goodbye, big fella.  You will be missed, though Penelope is already begging to carry your remains around in a Jar of Remembrance, so perhaps I will end up simply wishing for the opportunity to miss you when I find you sitting on my kitchen counter during dinner prep.

easter, easter, read all about it!

Yesterday was Easter, The Best Day of the Year!

To prepare, I pulled out all the Easter clothes in the kids' current sizes that we already had stored away, and made a list of what we needed.  Atticus, Penelope and Callista all needed new outfits, but a trip to Target only yielded some pants for Atticus.  Todd, on a trip to Sears over lunch one day, found not one, but two dresses on sale that fit Penelope.  I experienced an existential crisis deciding between the two, but all y'all on social media helped me pull the trigger on the raspberry one - doesn't it look beautiful on her?

Also, it cost $7 because Sears was going out of business.  Sad for Sears, bully for us.

I love how the kids' outfits turned out.  Finneas looked like he was trying to sell me a nice three-bedroom ranch on a cul-de-sac.  Atticus put on his outfit, looked down at himself, and stated, "I look like a BUSINESSMAN."  He knighted Finneas, "Businessman, Jr."

For my own outfit, I wore my go-to dress from years and years ago.  (I think I bought it the year I was pregnant with Laurelai.)  It has seen better days and is starting to fade, but it worked. 

Unfortunately, when I was trying everything on earlier in the week, I realized that my legs are very soft and very white, kind of like larvae.  So to fix the problem, I bought some self-tanning spray.  Unfortunately (again), I am only accustomed to using lotion, so I didn't realize that when you spray yourself in the bathtub, the spray settles on the tops of your feet, and then puddles on the tub floor and saturates the bottoms of your feet.  So I woke up yesterday morning with neon orange feet - tops and bottoms.  Luckily, baking soda effectively scrubbed the majority of the Cheeto dust off the tops, but the soles of my feet are still absolutely fluorescent.

What did I take away from all of this?  Nothing, other than a reasonable guess that what's happening with Trump's spray tan is that he stands on his head while he sprays himself down, and that's why it all settles on his face and in his hair.

Finneas will be running for President in 2020.  His platform will focus on equal rights, balancing the budget, education reform, and the solemn oath that he will never, ever use fake tanner.

And just because the best day of the year is worth celebrating with funny faces, I submit the following:

Happy Easter!

what's up weekly.

How is it Friday already?  I swear, just yesterday I was sitting down to write the last W.U.W.  I suppose it's a good sign that the week went so quickly!

We were joined this week by a visiting Turtle.  He has three legs and a very crooked shell, and though his current owners call him Crush, I like to call him Stumpy (Stumps, for short).  He(?) has been the best house guest, though I'm not sure he would say we've been excellent hosts.  He has been harassed, assaulted, jostled, manhandled, and otherwise beleaguered, and I think he may be ready to go home.  However, we're holding him hostage until his rightful owners return,  or until he passes to the Great Hole-Under-a-Log in the Sky, which he seems like he may prefer to persevering through the next week at our house.  But I'm really hoping not.  I would like to not have to return their turtle sunny-side-up.  So I'm doing everything I can to prevent that from happening: I dutifully dole out his daily ration of chopped up bits of earthworms, and I'm zone-defensing the crap out of him.  Just call me Stumpy's Secret Service.

Rocco is SO. OBSESSED. with this turtle.  It's all he thinks about and all he talks about.  The second I get him out of bed in the mornings or after nap, the first words out of his mouth are, "I hold turtle?  Turtle my hands?" 

Friday, my throat was still hurting from what I believe must have been Gum from the Boiling Pits of Hell, carefully handcrafted by the Devil himself.  It tasted fine, sure, but chewing it basically cauterized all my mucosal linings, and I've had a lot of throat pain.  So I went to Urgent Care and got a strep test done, just to make sure I wasn't overlooking anything major.  The test came back negative - which is positive, harhar, except for the fact that I still have a sore throat nearly two weeks later, and there's basically nothing I can do about it.

Since we spent the whole afternoon at the doctor, Rocco missed his nap.  So he fell asleep on the couch watching Netflix.  Which was so adorable and pitiful.

On Saturday, the girls and I baked a pie together.  It turned out tasting delicious, but it definitely had a face for radio.

What else?  I started a 30 day fitness challenge.  Committing to it already puts me way out of my league - much less actually doing it.  I am so out of shape.  So here's to hoping to fix that.  Also, a friend of mine sent me some cloth 'paper' towels to try out, and I'm so excited!

Also, Todd taught at church on Sunday, so we stopped at a local specialty donut place on the way home.  Because when you start off the morning on such a good foot, you really want to finish strong.  Why, yes, that is a maple and bacon donut you spy.

And lastly, this little booger turned nine months old, and figured it was as good a time as any to learn how to get herself up to standing. 

One more step towards complete and independent motility.  IT ALL GOES TOO FAST.  GIVE ME MY BABY BAAAAAAAAAACK!  I spent more time this week cuddling my friend's newborn, and it blew my mind to think that Callista was this tiny just a few short months ago!

Other than that, it was a pretty normal week.  Speech therapy for Atticus.  Trip to the Amish.  Sitting around in my pajamas at all hours of the day.  Not too shabby!  Bring on next week!

large family pantry storage: before and after a grocery shopping trip.

it is my birthday.

Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays.  It's basically all I've been talking about on here lately, and that's not going to change today, because today is my birthday, and this is my blog, and gosh darn it, I'm going to celebrate!

We did things up right good this weekend.  On Saturday, the girls and I grabbed some ingredients to make a pie.  Do you know how long it's been since I've had a real, homemade pie?  Years.  This gluten-free thing has robbed so many things from me, first and foremost of which is pie.  Penelope got it into her head that she wanted to make a dessert for me, so we decided we'd look to see if Schnucks had a gluten-free pie crust in the freezer... and what. do. you. know.  BEST NEWS EVER!  (Followed closely by the discovery that Schnucks also carries Kerrygold Irish Cream, seventeen exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

So Saturday night, we made a triple berry pie and it was amazing.  We made a crumble topping for it that somehow disappeared into the pie as it was baking, but it was pretty while it lasted.

Yesterday, the kids organized a special performance of the Penelope Van Voorst Original piece, "Flamingo Parade."  It's hard to explain, but the basic gist was that the kids all marched back and forth through the living room like, well, parading flamingos.  It was hilarious. 

Then Penelope presented me with a card she made me covered in drawings of my favorite animal (birds of paradise), and a couple of gifts she got me: a bag of gummi bears, and a pair of rose quartz earrings.  

Then, to uphold Van Voorst tradition, Todd took me outside for the classic Age Numbers photos.

My face looks ridiculous in this one, but look at my ups.  On paper, I'm a 32-year-old mom of six.  But jumping off a rock, my legs peg me squarely as a 20-year-old star in the WNBA.

ULTIMATE PUNCH.

You just got Birthday'd.


*Just a housekeeping note: Today's Marriage Monday vlog is up!  Today's topic is 'How to Think About How You Look."  The Bible speaks directly to how we should take our husbands into account when making decisions about how to present ourselves.  Check it out!

what's up weekly.

Oh, this week, this week, this week!

I kicked it off by getting my hair highlighted.  (Highlit?)  I am seriously schizophrenic about my hair.  I haven't decided yet if I prefer it better darker or lighter, so I keep alternating.  What are your thoughts?

Rocco also got a stylin' do.  Excellent side part, little buddy.

Laurelai loves to read Madeline before her naps every day, but since I wasn't home at naptime on Saturday, Penelope took over for me.  

Callista went through something weird for a few days where she kind of fought me on nursing, but she also wouldn't take a bottle from me, either.  Todd finally wrestled her into relative calm, and here she is, taking her first bottle.

And speaking of Callista, I haven't shown you her new earrings yet.  HOW CUTE IS SHE?!

Saturday night was really rough with the kids, so we didn't make it to church on Sunday.

Rocco decided he wanted to start potty training all of a sudden.  I'm not sure I'm totally ready for that commitment yet, so this isn't an announcement that we're jumping in with both feet, but he convinced me to let him sit there and try at least a couple of times.

Monday night we took the kids to the theater to see The Riot and the Dance, and had a blast, though I think I ate about four days' worth of calories.  That popcorn is like a really fattening drug.  So basically the opposite of meth.  And consider me a proponent of anything that's the opposite of meth.  So by eating all that popcorn, I was really just doing my part in the war on drugs.

Tuesday, we drove to Kansas City in the morning for the final impressions and fittings for Atticus' orthotropics appliance, which will be actually installed the first week of May.  Stuff's getting real, and not a moment too soon.  His adult teeth are so crowded, and he's started mouth-breathing.  It is time.

Once we were back that afternoon, my friend Ana came over to watch the kids for a little while so I could go over and help my friend Megan with her newborn.  That sounds way more altruistic than it actually was; I just wanted an opportunity to snuggle a tiny baby for an hour, so I made Megan go take a nap and leave me alone with Baby Elizabeth and a good book.  Pure selfishness.  There are worse ways to spend an hour.

On Wednesday, I woke up with terrible throat pain.  Weirdly, I suspect it was chemical burns from this really horrific gum I bought and didn't have the common sense to stop chewing after it burned the top layer of my tongue off.  Dumb.  But by Wednesday, my throat was feeling terrible, and a bunch of drainage from it clogged up my ear (SCRUMPTIOUS!) and I was worried I was getting an ear infection.  So after our trip to the Amish that morning, I stopped at Natural Grocers for a crazy number of throat remedies, as well as some ear oil and ear candles.

Those ear candles work miracles, I swear.  And it pulled out SO. MUCH. GUNK. from my ear.  I think my head actually weighs less now.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling mostly fine.  I'd had a 'hot' toddy sitting on my nightstand all night and took swigs through the night as I woke up with lingering pain.  (It was a very cold toddy by morning.)  Not sure what exactly made the difference, but a difference was made, and I felt SO much better.  

Which brings me to today.  We're planning on doing some gardening and some laundry, and getting the house ready for my sister and brother-in-law to come stay the night with us!  Tomorrow, they'll watch the kids for the day so that Todd and I (and my third arm, Callista) can spend the day in St. Louis for my upcoming 21st birthday.  We're going hunting for a pretty vintage door to replace the ugly black hollow core monstrosity in my dining room.  Please pray our hunt is successful!

And beyond that, not much else happened this week.  Rocco attempted to catch the 'ladybugs' floating around in the rays of light from the window.

Penelope and I spent some buddy time reading.

And our house continues to be a major pit.

And that was our week!