our visual family schedule.

Sorry in advance for the terrible photo quality.  We get no natural light from this side of the house, so pictures are hard to take from this direction.

Have you ever read "Managers of Their Homes" by Steve and Teri Maxwell?  If not, you should.  It is full of absolute gold.  It's basically an instruction manual for doing with your time what Dave Ramsey says you should do with your money: make it work for you.  You decide how to spend it.  You decide where it goes and what it does for you.  I don't necessarily believe as strongly as the authors that sticking to a strict daily schedule is a moral issue (I'm more of the 'routines over schedules' type), but I have found many of the principles really helpful and biblical.

Because I'm more of a routine-type, I haven't really felt the need to have a chunked out visual schedule for the family until recently, even though they strongly recommend it (and the book itself actually comes with a kit to accomplish just that).  Lately, however, I've just felt like I'm always dropping a ball somewhere - college girls will show up at my house for meet-ups, for instance, and I'm caught completely off-guard, even though they come at the exact same time every single week.  I just can't keep it all in my brain anymore.

So a few weeks ago, Penelope and I sat down to make a large poster board schedule, with color-coded Post-Its for each activity type.  It took an inordinate amount of time, and I started to worry that I was just wasting my already scattered time on a glorified craft.  (Psychotic scheduling is the crafty-fun-time of the left-brained, Type A, firstborn set.)

I keep it on the inside of the basement door so it doesn't ugly up the rest of the house, and a side benefit of its placement is that I can stare at it from the spot where I eat breakfast and plan my day.

But you know what?  THIS THING HAS SAVED MY LIFE.  That's almost not hyperbole.  Not only can I know, at a glance, what the day will hold, but I've also started using it to move activities around to more efficient time-slots.  I never realized there was a more streamlined way of doing things until I saw it on paper.

Those blue slots are discretionary time for me - helping the kids with their independent school work, running laundry through, taking a shower, reading a book, etc., all happen during the blue slots.

So, for instance, one regular sticking point for us has been Atticus' speech therapy appointments.  I'd scheduled them on Tuesday mornings, which often meant we got no morning school done, throwing the rest of the week totally off as we tried to play catch-up.  But seeing on paper that I was already running a lot of errands on Wednesdays, and very little school is ever scheduled on that day, helped me to realize that scheduling speech then would actually work so much better.  We tried the new arrangement out yesterday, and while it makes for a looooong day of errands, it also meant that it purchased back for us almost an entirely normal half a day on Tuesday.

The weeks are color-coded, too: Oranges are 'out of the house' activities, Pinks and blues are school, bright green/yellow are meet-ups/ministry, light purples are family activities.

It's also helping me brainstorm where to fit things I was frequently dropping the ball on.  I figured out how to fit family quiet time in before breakfast (I'll post more about this soon), and it has been working out really well.  I also noticed that I don't have a regular weekly cleaning time, so I'm trying to puzzle out where that should fit in.

This has been so insanely helpful to me lately; I really have no idea why I was so resistant to doing it sooner.

planning to set up your own daily schedule (pt. 2).

Grab that piece of paper and pen you had out yesterday; we're going to finish planning your routine, and then actually set up and implement it!  (If you missed the first two principles to consider when brainstorming for your schedule, check out yesterday's post to get caught up to speed.)

Third, know your RESPONSIBILITIES AND COMMITMENTS.

List out every single thing you're responsible for.  Like, everything.  Breastfeeding.  Cooking.  Wiping butts.  Grocery shopping.  Vacuuming.  Getting everyone ready for church.  Folding underwear.  Weekly date nights with the husband.  Write it allllll down.

Now, take a quick second to brainstorm - could anyone else be doing any of these things for you so they're not actually on your list anymore?  Keep in mind that everything costs something  - often in home management the question is, "does it cost time, or does it cost money?"  Those aren't the only costs you might be paying to keep something on your list, but they're definitely major players.  Menu planning saves you money, but costs you time.  Hiring a housekeeper costs you money, but saves you time.  What is each task costing you, and what would it cost to delegate out some of your tasks to others? 

Ways I personally delegate in our current life stage:...

[Click here to continue reading]

planning to set up your daily personal schedule (pt 1).

This week, I'll be reposting a few oldies-but-goodies about time management.  Many of these begin with the assumption that you watched my FB video on the topic, so if you haven't done that yet, I'd encourage you to do so!

Let's talk schedules/routines.  I walked you through mine in the video, but I'd love to get you started on planning your own.  Before you actually jump into the nitty gritty of setting up your schedule, I think it's especially helpful to think through a couple of things that will help you set up a successful schedule.

There are four guiding principles to think through first that have been especially helpful to me; we'll cover the first two today, and get back to the rest tomorrow, to keep this post from getting outrageously long.

Grab a pen and paper, because you're going to be doing some writing.

[Click here to continue reading]

my bullet journal that's barely a bullet journal.

I've been seeing all the fancy bullet journal ideas floating around Pinterest for a  couple of years now, and while I stand in awe of the stellar individuals who find it cathartic to spend forty bajillion hours organizing and decorating their to-do lists, I don't number among them.  It just didn't seem realistic for me and my no-nonsense ways of list-keeping.

But I've recently been watching Facebook Live videos from Life(in)grace (whom I just adore), and in one of them, she details how she keeps her bullet journal.  And (spoiler alert) it's not a fancy schmancy system of hand drawn calendars and calligraphied shopping lists.  Basically, her bullet journal is just a composition notebook full of lists and notes, with a table of contents to make everything easy to find.  Period.  THAT. IS. ALL.

And I was like, how genius is that?  Instead of having one rando sheet of paper with my shopping lists, and another random bunch of index cards with my reading notes, and a few half-finished journals full of sermon notes, why don't I just keep everything in one simple place?  Maybe I'm a total idiot, but my mind was blown.

So I've been relying heavily on my bullet journal for the past few months.  Here it is in all its understated glory:

The basic gist is that I keep my whole brain in this tiny book.  I chose a smaller notebook than the composition notebook she recommends, simply because I can cart it around the house more easily, and it fits well inside my planner and/or my purse.  It has become as necessary to daily life as my glasses.

So what all do I keep in here?  Well, first, my table of contents, because a notebook full of lists becomes infinitely less helpful if you can't find anything.  As I fill the book, I number each page and just go back and add it to the list at the front.

You can see there is really no order to things; I just turn to the next clean page when I need to start a new list or set of notes, but because of the table of contents I can still find everything quickly.  Easy peasy.

I keep a running to-do list each week, to which I stick a new post-it each day with the day's list.  It is literally the unfanciest bullet journal on the face of the earth.

This is how tidy my lists are at the beginning of the week.  (You can see that I have to write down what texts I need to send, because I don't always have the social energy to text.  I'm Paige.  I'm an introvert, and I'm terrible at living on this side of the millennium.)

Yes, I menu planned hot dogs.

The weekly list stays the same, but the post-its change throughout the week.

Here are the other things I've been keeping in here over the summer:

Monthly goals
Birth prep
Prayer list
Facebook Live topic ideas
Blog topic ideas
Freezer meals to make before baby's arrival
Notes from vlog series I've been following
Travel prep list
Grocery lists
Registry list
Author mentors I'd like to learn from
Hospital packing list
Meal plans
Weekly blog plans
Sermon notes
Quotes
Homeschool prep
Amish delivery price list
Online purchases to add to checkbook
Online class notes
Library activity dates
Thank you notes to write
Library class notes
Craft ideas for school
Books to add to my library or Amazon lists
Prep notes for starting women's Bible study/book club
Callista's milestone dates
School supplies to purchase

All of that would be in my head (or, more realistically, index cards and cluttery post-its everywhere) if I didn't have it all in one place.  The best $3 I've ever spent.

AND! It has become a mommy-daughter activity, as Penelope has jumped on board with her own bullet journal.  She likes to keep lists of story ideas in hers, as well as to-do lists and weekly plans.  She has a little pad of post-its she keeps in the back for fitting occasions, as well.  We are birds of a feather.  (I know these photos are super blurry, but she's just so adorable I had to post them.)

You would not believe what a lifesaver this thing has been.  I've already purchased and stickered another one to have ready when this one gets full.

 And that is how I keep my brain from leaking out of my ears.

the biggest enemies your schedule will face.

So.  Yesterday, you finished brainstorming and planning.  You sketched out a routine or a schedule on paper that, in theory, should work for you.  And, if life were entirely mechanized, it would definitely work.  The problem is that life is lived by people.  And if 'people' are anything like 'me specifically,' it's the people that will be the biggest problem in getting the routine to work.

I have a great routine down.  It works, it's simultaneously rigid enough and flexible enough, it encourages a lot of work AND a lot of margin, it provides predictability to the kids...  It's just that I get in the way of it a lot of the time.  For instance, this Tuesday (note: one day after I spent an hour on Facebook telling all y'all how to get a handle on things), I was supposed to be getting ready for Connection Group.  I was supposed to have dinner started, and cleaning started, and makeup-ing and hair-brushing started, and instead I procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated until I was running SO STINKING LATE.  And then I was all in panic mode, tornadoing around the house trying to get stuff done.  Was it because the routine was off?  Was it because of unforeseen circumstances that arose?  No.  It was because I was an idiot and didn't work the routine.

I feel like you probably get it - or at least, know me well enough to not be shocked that I did something an idiot would do.  I'm sure it's clear by now that I am no Dwight Schrute.

So, let's quickly address four common reasons why WE are our own routines' worst enemies:

Laziness

This would probably be named more than any other reason, if we're being honest with ourselves.  It truly is a daily struggle against our lazy flesh to choose to do what we don't want to do.  But at a certain point, you just have to man up and choose to do different, or things will never be different.

One time, shortly after I'd had Laurelai and we were in the very early, busy stages of our first church plant, I was venting to a friend about how Todd likes all the horizontal surfaces to be cleared when he gets home, and I was like, "I just can't.  I know he wishes it were different, but I just can't right now."  And that friend, who will forever remain on my list of favorite people because of this very exchange, looked in my face, put her hand gently on my leg, and said, "Paige.  You can.  You're just being lazy."  OUCH.  Also, TRUE.

There are always a million great-sounding reasons why we can't do the things that, deep down, we just don't feel like doing.  And that friend was so sweet to me by being honest... and then helping me brainstorm how to make a change.  She was like, "Put a movie on for the kids half an hour before he comes home, so they're not continuing to tear the place up, and just PICK UP for ten minutes."  And in that moment, it became very obvious that I just hadn't wanted to pick up.  Because she was right - it literally only takes ten minutes of effort to make my husband feel loved, and I was just being lazy.

*I do want to take just a minute here to encourage you to evaluate yourself soberly, however:  I think it is very easy to feel the pressure of thought patterns like, "I'm not doing enough, there's more to be done, I took a break for a while today and that makes me entirely unproductive and therefore I'm lazy."  NO.  You need rest.  Rest is good work.  Rest does not equal laziness.  For some of us, rest requires repentance from the mindset that we are only as valuable as we are productive, that our day is only valuable if we can list off the million and one things we did that day, that we are better if we are busier.  This is not biblical.  You NEED rest.  You just also NEED to work - even if it's work you don't feel like doing.  'Are you accomplishing both on purpose?' is the question.


Distractedness

This is my major problem right now.  I am so easily sucked in by social media.  I am at a point where I have to address it and take some drastic measures to take back my day.  (I'll keep you updated on that.)  When it's not social media, it's books.  When it's not books, it's ____________.  Identify what is distracting you, and CHOOSE what you will do about it.  Choose your real life.  Choose your 'now' life.  Multitasking is not a virtue, friend.  Single-mindedness is.  Focus and attentiveness are.  Faithfulness to the most important things is.  Oh, it is so hard, but I am personally needing to rip off the bandaid and make radical changes in how I spend both my free time and my work time, because there are enough distractions in family life without intentionally making it worse by adding extras to the chaos.


Feeling overwhelmed

There are seasons that will overwhelm you - and not because you're doing something wrong.  Frequently, seasons come where the work is actually, objectively, literally too much to manage on your own.  Life with a newborn.  Life with multiple kids under three.  Major transitions such as moves, and job changes, and illness, and loss, and rough patches in marriage.  They're all intense in their own way.  Do yourself a favor and take yesterday's advice:  get rid of EVERYTHING that is not helping you just stay above water.  Even good things can get put on pause for a while.  Allow yourself the freedom to scale back to as manageable a load as you're capable of scaling back to.

HOWEVER.  Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed because we have taken too much on ourselves.  It is our own fault.  If we feel like we never see our families, or sit down and eat dinner together, because we're too busy driving kids to soccer practice and ballet lessons and library events and homeschool co-op meetings and yadda yadda yadda... we're picking good things at the expense of the best things.  Too many good things make them all kind of bad things.  Be honest about why you're feeling overwhelmed, and if the problem is you, choose to make a change, even if it hurts.


Inefficiency

I covered this in the live chat a bit, but to touch on it again briefly: sometimes we have a reasonable amount of work, and a reasonable amount of time in which to do it, and we just kind of... don't know how to do it well.  Identify what these things might be, and then seek out wisdom and resources and tools that help you do it better.   If you have so much stuff that you can't realistically get your house clean in a reasonable amount of time (and the problem isn't that your cleaning routine is inefficient, like I covered in the chat), maybe you need to own less stuff.  And if you don't know how to declutter efficiently and with discernment, ask someone to teach you.  Read a book on it.  Or just start learning the hard way by pitching a bunch of stuff and crossing your fingers that you don't miss it later.  Get more efficient at the stuff in your life that you're currently not doing super well.


Okay, it's as easy and as hard as that.  The common theme you're seeing is Choose.  Your routine will not work for you, even if it's been tailored exactly to your needs and season and personality and work load, if you will not work the routine.  You have to choose to do make it work, or it won't.  It's as easy and as hard as that.

How's that for some tough love this Thursday?

planning to set up your own schedule. (pt 2)

Grab that piece of paper and pen you had out yesterday; we're going to finish planning your routine, and then actually set up and implement it!  (If you missed the first two principles to consider when brainstorming for your schedule, check out yesterday's post to get caught up to speed.)

Third, know your RESPONSIBILITIES AND COMMITMENTS.

List out every single thing you're responsible for.  Like, everything.  Breastfeeding.  Cooking.  Wiping butts.  Grocery shopping.  Vacuuming.  Getting everyone ready for church.  Folding underwear.  Weekly date nights with the husband.  Write it allllll down.

Now, take a quick second to brainstorm - could anyone else be doing any of these things for you so they're not actually on your list anymore?  Keep in mind that everything costs something  - often in home management the question is, "does it cost time, or does it cost money?"  Those aren't the only costs you might be paying to keep something on your list, but they're definitely major players.  Menu planning saves you money, but costs you time.  Hiring a housekeeper costs you money, but saves you time.  What is each task costing you, and what would it cost to delegate out some of your tasks to others? 

Ways I personally delegate in our current life stage:

*Occasionally paying for groceries at the more expensive store because they will deliver to my house.  (Costs money, saves time.)

*Trading discipleship time with college students in exchange for their free babysitting services so we can go on date nights.  (Costs time, saves money.)

*Asking friends or college students to help fold laundry while we talk/hang out.  (Saves time, costs me nothing!)

*Asking Todd to take over doing the kids' bath night.  (Costs Todd time, costs me nothing except expressions of gratitude.) (*Important sidenote: it is not ASKING your husband for help if he's not 'allowed' to say no to the request.  Feel free to ask him, but please allow him the freedom to choose whether he says yes or no.  Please do not just dump your dirty work on an unwilling outside party.  Ask for help, but be willing to get creative in other ways - without bitterness - if they're not up for taking on your burdens as their own.)

*Giving up making things from scratch that I could buy at the store.  Kombucha, yogurt, fermented foods, baked goods, natural body care items and natural cleaning supplies are all items I used to and/or could make myself, but I now either live without or purchase ready-made.  (Costs money, saves time.)

*The main exceptions to the above rule are making my own bone broth, and cooking our at-home meals from scratch.  (Costs time, saves money.)

*Going out to eat/getting takeout on Friday nights, and grabbing lunch on the way home from church on Sundays.  (Costs money, saves time.)

You get the point.  What could you be paying a lower cost for (in terms of time, money, or other resources) than you currently are?  What could you cross off your to-do list all together and just live without, or delegate to someone else?    Be willing to make painful cuts - I promise that it is the only way to get to a place of rest and peace in your schedule.  It will be so worth it in the long run.  You won't regret it.

Fourth, know your PRIORITIES.

Okay, once you've delegated out, and/or simply gotten rid of, everything you possibly can, look at what is left:  Put all those things in order of importance to you, and necessity to your family.  After the 'keeping the kids alive' items that take precedence over everything else simply because of their key role in the survival of your offspring, what is the one most important task to YOU that you want or need to get done each day?  And then, equally important, ask your husband what his top priority is for your day.  That goes in a top slot as well.  Once everything is listed in order, maybe cross the bottom 3 items off the list altogether, just to continue to make life easier by jettisoning stuff that doesn't actually matter in the long run.  (See? I'm talking radical list-chopping.  Take the plunge.) 

Now what?

Okay, now look at your lists.  Start rough-sketching a routine of your day knowing the things you just identified:  What time will you get up?  Not 'what time do you wish you could get up, if you were actually a morning person?'  But, what is a reasonable time to expect YOU, as the person you currently are, to start your day?  Now start filling in the non-negotiables - meals and naptimes have to happen at set times of the day.  Now figure out where all the rest of those priorities on your list will go in the 'in between' spaces.  If you are most productive in the beginning of the day (as many people are) put more up at the top, and leave more room for rest at the bottom of the page.  Figure out how you're going to get around those 'sticky' spots you identified in your personality or your season of life.

Your end product should be exciting.  Encouraging.  Restful.  Realistic.  If it's not, go back and start at principle #1 again and keep brainstorming how to get it to that point.  Once it looks great on paper - with plenty of room for work AND margin - compare it to what life currently looks like.  If it is radically different, do not try to implement it all at once.  Pick one thing to implement the first week, such as a new laundry routine, or getting more regular about enforcing naps.  Then each week make another change, and another, until you're at the spot where the routine is working for you. 

At the end of the day, just remember that you are not a slave to your time.  You're not a slave to your schedule or routine.  Your routine is your employee, at your disposal, not the other way around.  You should feel like your schedule is pushing you to stay accountable and adding helpful, necessary structure, but never ever running the show.  If that's where you're at, you may need to go back and keep making tweaks until it does work for you.


Okay, you now have a routine that has been realistically thought out and intentionally written down!  You've made steps to start implementing it.  Tomorrow we'll cover what will (not 'might,' or 'could,' or 'has potential to,' but will) get in your way of sticking with it: Laziness, Distractedness, Feeling Overwhelmed, and Inefficiency.  We'll talk about how to deal with each of those.

See you tomorrow!

planning to set up your own schedule. (pt. 1)

You guys, the FB Live thing last night was so fun!  I'm really glad we got a chance to do that, and I think I'll plan on setting up another one soon on the topic of discipline.

While we're still on the subject of time management, let's talk schedules/routines.  I walked you through mine last night, but I'd love to get you started on planning your own.  Before you actually jump into the nitty gritty of setting up your schedule, I think it's especially helpful to think through a couple of things that will help you set up a successful schedule.

There are four guiding principles to think through first that have been especially helpful to me; we'll cover the first two today, and get back to the rest tomorrow, to keep this post from getting outrageously long.

Grab a pen and paper, because you're going to be doing some writing.



First, know YOURSELF.

I mean, duh, right? But really, though; know yourself when it comes to getting stuff done.  What works for someone else might not work for you.  Are you a morning person, or not so much?  Are you a list-keeper, or not so much?  Are you a high-capacity or high-energy person, or not so much?  Are you a homebody or not so much?  Do you prefer getting things done all at once, or in short bursts over a longer period of time?   Understand that a lot of these things aren't necessarily sin issues, they're just different ways of being wired.  Sure, they can all contribute in their own way to specific sin issues - procrastination, laziness, wrong priorities.  But just because they can lead to sin, doesn't mean the wiring itself is sinful.  You don't have to change how you are wired in order to successfully get a handle on your time.  Write down your strengths, weaknesses, uniquenesses, genuine sin issues, and biggest points of frustration.


Second, know YOUR SEASON.

If you have one kid, and they're under a year old, you will feel terrible at time management.  It's just a fact.  If you have multiple kids and they're all under five, you will feel terrible at time management.  Expecting yourself to have ample amounts of dedicated quiet time every single day, for instance, if your baby isn't on a sleep schedule yet, and you have preschoolers underfoot, and you have no one pitching in to (actually) help yet, is possibly unrealistic.  All that to say, what about your season of life requires special consideration when juggling your time?  Write it down.

What about your season makes life a little easier than it would be at other times?  Newborns sleep like all the time, so you've got some good chunks of the day to work with.  Preschoolers haven't started school yet and (should) still take naps each day.  Kids over the age of five can be actual contributors to the household work, which can free you up a bit.  What advantages do you have to leverage?  Write them down.


Now, hang onto that piece of paper, because you'll be adding to it.  Tomorrow, we'll cover knowing your responsibilities and commitments, and knowing your priorities.  At that point, you should be better equipped to set up a manageable, flexible routine that actually works for you!

time management for moms.

Time management seems to be a major issue for lots of moms, and I think that's probably for a couple of main reasons: 1) moms really do have a lot to juggle, 2) a lot of us have a ton of freedom to structure our own days, but not a ton of self-discipline, and 3) seasons with kids change so quickly that, even if you do get into a groove, it's usually just a temporary fix - you find yourself in a state of upheaval so often, it's hard to keep up.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?  Maybe it's just my life, but I kind of get the feeling I'm not alone.  So this week, let's take some time to talk about our time.  It's not a small topic!  Between tonight's live chat on the topic at 8:00 p.m. CST on the FB page, and this week's posts, I'll try to cover:

- What the Bible does (and doesn't) say about time management and goal setting.

- The difference between a schedule and a routine when planning your days.

- Identifying the four basic factors that I have found to be the most helpful when trying to iron out a flexible, fluid system that works with my personality and season of life.   

- What behaviors and attitudes I've been guilty of that have actually been major hindrances to successfully managing my time.  (I'm guessing you'll be able to relate to at least a couple of them.)

- What my average day actually looks like.

- How I have quite a lot of free time, actually, and some of the ways I personally balance the principle of 'everything costs something.' 

- How having a greater number of children has actually saved me a ton of work and time.  I swear.   (Not to proselytize or anything, but it's just one of the many reasons I'd wholeheartedly encourage you to have more kids - they really are life's littlest problem fixers.)


Dang.  I might be a little too optimistic about what all I'm able to get to without actually writing a book or something, but I'll at least cover what I can.