you may be asking yourself, 'is paige van voorst afraid of catching coronavirus?'

You should be answering yourself, 'no, she is not.'

See that? Unflappable, and unflapped.  And *I'm* not looking too concerned, either.

And here's why: I am a sneaky devil.  I narrowly evaded the bird flu and SARS and the swine flu and the West Nile virus and Ebola and Zika and letters full of Anthrax.  I am untouchable.  I may not know how to avoid catching the common barfs every. stinkin. year., but I do know how to duck under the radar of all the major global pandemics that have threatened to strike us all dead.  I just might be immortal, or the odds might just be in my favor, or the predictions might trend toward the inflammatory and overblown.  Either way.


Here's why else: I am well practiced at self-imposed quarantine.  Call it a gift, but I can go weeks without leaving the confines of my house.  It may not be pleasant, but also, it just might be pleasant.  Like, take right now for instance.  I am sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee and some applesauce, and not leaving my house at all, like a real boss.  I could live like this.  I DO live like this.  Tell me to keep living like this and I'll be like, You got it, Hoss.


Of course I have a few supplies stocked up, but that's true any time.  You don't have to worry about the Van Voorsts running out of toilet paper, because we've been down that road before and you can bet your bottom dollar that I make sure that will never happen again.  I stock weeks' worth of groceries and supplies at all times, friends, because I'm not new.  I could literally sit on this couch and drink coffee and eat applesauce for weeks.  Try me.


So, to sum up, I am trucking along like normal: I am washing my hands often, avoiding trips to China, and moving on with my life.  And that's about all you can do, really, at a time like this.