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slugs, bugs, and lullabies that sound like a horror movie soundtrack.

Do you want to know something they don't have in Iowa?  Wild cockroaches that sneak into your house and make nests in your mailbox.  Do you want to know what they DO have in Missouri?  Wild cockroaches that sneak into your house and make nests in your mailbox.

It is becoming a serious problem.  Todd can't even get the mail without having to dislodge roaches from between the envelopes.  We find them coming in the house from outside, and climbing up the drains.  They hide in the folds of the shower curtain and crawl out while you're showering like they're auditioning for Psycho. 

So I have roach traps all over my house, which, if you're from Iowa, sounds like a trashy thing to say.  In Iowa, something has to have gone seriously wrong in your housekeeping efforts (or in your rental house's shady past) to warrant setting roach traps.  But not here.  I literally buy them by the dozen now because THIS IS MY LIFE NOW.

And just to up the ante, Rocco has decided he wants a wood roach as a pet, like a real sick-sick-sicko.



IS THIS NOT THE MOST DISGUSTING THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN? (The bug, not the cutie-patootie Van Voorst.)   I had no idea this was happening - the kids came inside and said Rocco found an "earwig," and Todd took the pictures, so I was oblivious until I looked through the photos and then barfed in my mouth.  Can't you hear it scuttling through the screen?!


And on the topic of monstrous, mutant bugs, here are some slugs.  Excuse me, I mean, SLUGS.




WHAT IN THE ACTUAL WORLD.  It's like Missouri got covered in radioactive waste at some point.

I would like to say I've developed a stronger stomach as a result of living here, but that would be a bald-faced lie.  I might be the odd man out here, but I still don't love being ogled in the shower by dinosaur bugs.  But if that's what it takes to be a Missourian (that, and never using a crosswalk with any sense of urgency), then that is what I'll work toward.

It's a weird place to live, but I love it.  Usually.

1 comment :

todd said...

don't worry! that LAST thing any Missourian does with respect to a sidewalk or crosswalk is urgency. it's like high stakes frogger down here.