how to REALLY take care of yourself. (part 1)

On Tuesday, I got a bit spicy and doled out my thoughts on our culture's current mantra of "self-care! self-care! self-care!"  To sum it up, the world is shallow, selfish, and ignorant, and wants to convince us to be, too.  To put it bluntly.

But dismantling the "weak points" (ahem, lies) of the current cultural perspective doesn't cover all that needs to be said on the topic of self-care.  It's time to take the TRUTH at the heart of it all, well, to heart.  So let's look at the Bible and form our worldview from there.

First of all, the Bible states that we are made in the image of God.  We have been entrusted with no small task when it comes to caring for something so precious to him.  Further, as women, we are uniquely equipped and called to cultivate and nourish life - especially that of our husbands and kids, and then, in the same way, ourselves.  What you would deem most important for your kids' development, prioritize for yourself - cultivate the life you've been given.

God wants what's best for you.  He wants and loves to fill you up and equip you to do the work you've been made to do.  But he has specific ways of doing this that differ deeply from what the world says will fill you up.

He has said a lot on the topic, so we'll jump right into a few right away.  If you want to truly care for yourself in a way that actually restores you...


- Read your Bible.

You didn't think I'd write a post on Biblical self-care and not include actually reading the Bible, did you?  Of course you didn't.  Here's the thing: a lot of moms have a hard time disciplining themselves in this area, myself included.  Reasons/excuses abound.  But here's the truth: Jesus tells us that "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matt 4:4)  I need food, and I don't make excuses for why I don't have to eat today.  I know I need it, and so I do it - sometimes with a level of excitement, sometimes simply because I know it's necessary for my survival and well-being.  But Jesus is saying that, as much as we need food, we need God's word.

Here's an easy challenge: just pick up the Bible and read it.  You don't have to have a yearly reading plan in place.  You don't have to be absolutely certain you'll understand everything you read.  You don't have to guarantee that you'll be 100% consistent from here on out for the rest of your life.  That's okay.  Just eat the meal you're aching for - right now.  And then pick it up again later, because you'll be hungry again later.  You cannot be whole and healed without the indwelling presence of God, and he is known through his revealed Word.  Let him start restoring you, strengthening you, and empowering you through his Word for the life he has called you to carry.

"Quiet time" at our house is rarely quiet.  I would love some more protected time, but I'm just not in a season of life where that's possible right now.  But when I lower my expectations, I'm able to keep in mind that even a LITTLE bit of reading, a LITTLE bit of retention, is better than none.  It's not ideal, but I am learning I can't wait around until life is ideal.

- Spend time in prayer.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  (Phil 4:6-7)  Why do we spend so much time feeling exhausted and worried and out of control of our lives, and yet forget to rest in the presence of the only One who is in control of anything, asking for his help, guidance, and comfort?  Prayer is connection with the Life source that gave you life and sustains your life.  The Bible explicitly states that the outcome of turning over our heaviness in prayer is peace - peace that makes no sense in light of what we're facing in our circumstances.

Martin Luther said, "I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer."  The more you juggle, the more time you need in prayer.  Making it an afterthought deprives you of the very thing you most need.

- Find a mentor.

In Titus 2, we see Paul charge older women with the task of training the younger women in what we can assume he deems a concise summary of the most important things: "To love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."  Basically, Paul wants you to nurture these things: your character development, and your relationships with your husband, your kids, your home, and a mentor to teach you about these things.  A relationship with an older (godly, Biblically-minded) woman is a necessity for your growth and training.  Seeking one out, and gleaning all you can from her, will feed you in a way mom groups and girls' nights and Facebook groups full of peers can't.


- Talk with your husband about the Bible.

Ephesians 5 tells us that Christ cleanses his bride, the Church, by washing her in the water of the Word, in order to present her "without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."  Immediately thereafter, Paul says, "IN THE SAME WAY husbands should love their wives as their own bodies."  Now, obviously, the command here is to husbands - but the assumption is that the wife is receptive toward being washed.  Are we in vibrant communication with our husbands about the truest Truths?  Are we hearing his thoughts and taking his counsel and receiving these gestures as tokens of his love for us?  There is cleansing and wholeness and true nourishment in this.


- Find ways to serve others.

In seasons of exhaustion and periods of feeling overwhelmed, it is so very easy to turn inward and think only of getting our own needs met.  But we forget that the Bible would tell us that serving others is a very real need in us - we were made for this.  Galatians 6:2 tells us to "bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."  We can't fulfill our calling and be our most whole selves while we're neglecting others.  It's funny how it works.

So when we're feeling the pain points of needing to have something poured into us, that is a cue to remember that the same need exists in others, too - and in serving others, we ourselves are filled up.  We can't do this from our own strength, that's for certain.  But Christ will empower you and bless you in these efforts, and you'll find yourself filled in a way you couldn't be if you had been singularly focused on yourself.



I said it already, and I'll say it again: the Bible is not silent on self-care.  God actually cares a great deal about whether we're finding rest and refreshment and nourishment.  In fact, he has so much to say on the topic that I'm only halfway through the few I wanted to highlight!  Next week, I'll cover a few especially physical, 'earthy' ways to care for ourselves.