how hard is it to raise a large family?

I think a natural, common question people have about large families is whether or not it's hard.  Or really, I think people assume it's hard, but they want to know how hard.  Specifically, how much harder it is to manage a large family than it is to manage an average-sized family.  A little harder?  A lot harder?

The people want to know.  So I'll do my best to give the people what they want.

I am currently a mom of six.  Someday, I hope to be a mom of even more.  But I think people sometimes forget that I was once a mom of just one.  I was once a mom of just two.  I've lived both lives, so I feel like I have the authority and experience to make a pretty accurate comparison.  And here's what I've found:


It's definitely harder to raise a large family.  Except when it's absolutely, 100% easier than raising an average-sized family.

Yes, there are things that are harder to juggle when the number of kids increase.  I often have 'wait lists' of needs to meet: I can't wipe one kid's butt until I'm finished breastfeeding another kid, and someone else is bleeding because they've gotten into the knife drawer, and it's 2 p.m. and I still haven't eaten breakfast.  There are usually two kids talking to me at one time, frequently there's a fight happening that needs my attention.  Keeping eyes on all the discipline issues can be overwhelming at times, and the constant head-counting in public is really exhausting.  Seasonal clothes swapping is a nightmare.  There are things that are objectively more difficult to manage when there are more kids in the house.

Some things are neutral.  I still go grocery shopping at the same frequency; I just buy more food when I'm there.  I still make dinner every night, I just double the recipe.  Our house is actually smaller now than when we had just three kids.  I think you'd be surprised by how little our home life has needed to change as a result of continuing to grow our family.

But here's the really surprising thing: so many things are so much easier because of the number of kids I have.  They play with each other, which frees me from needing to be the one to entertain them.  They help each other, and they help me.  The extra stuff I have on my plate every day forces me to be more motivated and disciplined, and I'm actually much more productive and have a lot more time for rest than I did when my family was smaller.  To be honest, I would say that each kid starting with kid #4 has made life a little easier and a little easier.

The truth is, a lot of this is because my oldest kids have gotten older.  I have three kids who are four and under at the moment, but it is nothing like it was when my oldest three were that little.  So gradually growing a family is much different than just multiplying toddlers, which I think is the fear so many young moms face when considering whether they're up for having more kids.

So if you find yourself wondering how much harder is it really to have more kids, hear me saying that it ends up kind of being a net wash - if anything, I've actually found the scales tipping toward the easier, more enjoyable side as our family gets larger.

So there you have it.  If you have any questions - general or specific! - about the nitty gritties of managing a family our size, make sure to ask!  I'm happy to field anything you're curious about.

I will be doing a semi-impromptu Facebook Live chat this afternoon on this same general topic - I'm going to shoot for around 2:00, but we all know how the days can get, so the time may be a bit flexible.  If you have any questions or thoughts on the topic of large families, make sure to join in on the Facebook page!