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see what i mean?

the writing of my last post on forgetfulness was prompted by a specific incident...which, ironically, i forgot to include in the actual post.




i forgot to call in for jury duty.

that's right.  i'm a criminal, contemptuous of court or whatever.  i specifically wrote in my planner "call for jury duty" on monday, june 8.  i look at my planner, realize june 8 has come and gone, and panic.  of course, i have misplaced the slip of paper with the jury...person's name on it, so i look online.  i find the number, call the girl, and apologize profusely.
me: i'm so so sorry.  i was supposed to call in for jury duty last night and i totally forgot.  i'm really sorry.

jury person: you were supposed to call in on monday.

me: yes.  last night.

j.p.:  no, monday.

me: what day is it?

j.p.: it's wednesday.

me: oh, sorry.  i'm so sorry.

j.p.: do you have your sheet with your juror number on it?

me: ....no...i misplaced it...i'm so sorry.  i just had a baby 6 weeks ago and i'm a little scattered.

j.p.: (TOTAL change of tone) oh really? congratulations.  do you stay home?

me: yes.

j.p.: are you nursing?

me: yes.

j.p.: i'm sending out a sheet right now that says you're excused.  thanks so much for calling.

whoa.  who knew it was so easy to have a crime erased from your record?  i wonder if it's so easy to get out of other crimes...

"i'm sorry for speeding, officer, but i'm a stay-at-home mom who's nursing."

"yes, i realize driving my car through the neighbor's window is a form of vandalism, not to mention the fact that i've been drinking, but see? baby attached to my boob."  (side note: this actually happened to our next door neighbors...well, i don't think the drunk girl was also nursing at the time, but other than that, spot-on.  another argument that our apartments are super ghetto.

"vandalism? spray painting my gang name on the side of a train car?  i didn't realize i would get in trouble for it, seen as how i'm nursing this here baby."

i should really see how far this 'nursing mother' thing can get me in life.  or at least in the criminal justice system.

as for the planner that apparently served to be no help at all in the memory department....well, i seem to have forgotten where i put it.

1 comment :

whenjeskasparks said...

brilliant!
did you get my letter?