our chore charts, allowance, and age-appropriate chores.

One of the responsibilities that I take really seriously as a parent is teaching my kids to embrace hard work.  As members of a family, we all depend on each other and need to work together to keep our home and our life running smoothly.  It's a way to show each other love.  It's also a way for me to instill a work ethic in my kids as they grow to adulthood, showing them that it's important to embrace the difficulty of work and responsibility, rather than to run from it.  Work is good (it was given to us before the Fall), and gives us purpose and a fruitful life ("We are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Eph 2:10).  To not teach a child to work is to stunt them and frustrate them with a sense of unfulfilled purpose.  Work is a gift, but seeing it as such, and knowing how to work well, requires training.

Over the years, we've tried and adapted a few different approaches to chores and responsibilities.  The main jist of how we do things has remained pretty much the same, but how we've implemented and executed our system has flexed and changed.

We started out with a clipboard system - here's a post with the prototype (pretty rough) and here's a post about how we adapted that system for pre-readers.  This video also walks through the basic premise of the clipboard system, if you're more of an A/V learner.

This year we've tried a lanyard system, which has worked out well for the most part (except for the fact that the kids still somehow seem to misplace their lanyards, as was the besetting problem with the clipboards.  Sigh).  Here's a glimpse at how our system is looking right now.

I hung this giant, hulking, ugly thing in our kitchen.  (Or, perhaps you find it adorable and would like to purchase one for yourself through this affiliate link?  Who knows.)  The kitchen was the best place for it because systems are only useful if they're convenient.  I knew our main work times are all centered around meal times (watch this video for a more in-depth look at how we structure our days and manage our time), so I wanted the kids to be able to put their dishes in the sink, and then hop right to their jobs.

You can get your own here.  Also, you will note all kinds of detritus in these photos.  I didn't clean up for you before taking photos.  Sorry.

Each kid has their own row of jobs: "Before Breakfast," "After Breakfast," "After Lunch," and "Before Movie" jobs.  (I let the kids watch a movie while I make dinner, so this is at the end of the day's play time and before we all sit down to dinner together.)  In each pocket is that time slot's jobs, which tend to take 10-20 minutes to complete, if the kids aren't dinking around.

Since the bigger kids can read, I just printed off and laminated small colored cards with their lists for each time slot.  The littler kids can't read yet, so I found some cute printable cards here.  (I searched 'visual schedule,' if you're looking for something different but similar.)

I got fancy and added a "sticker" reminder with a Sharpie, post-lamination.  

At chore time, each kiddo clips their chore pack to their lanyard and gets down to work.

Atticus' color is blue, so his lanyard and chore pack cards are colored accordingly.  Unfortunately, he's holding them in front of a blue chart, so you can barely see what I'm talking about.

After a chore pack is completed, they get a sticker (or, more realistically, a check-mark, because I'm too disorganized to remember to buy that many stickers all the time) on their personal chore charts.  This means they can earn four stickers/checks on a normal day.

I just made these with a ruler and a sharpie on graph paper, and then photocopied a bunch of blank ones.  I taped them inside the cabinets to keep them close and convenient.

When they finish a row on their chart, they get paid, which I'll cover in a moment.  When they finish an entire box of five rows, they get a 'bonus' payout.

For kiddos who are looking to earn extra money (which often happens around the holidays as they're saving up for gifts for one another), or for kiddos who have been sentenced to Grumble Jobs for the sake of their bad attitudes, I have extra jobs available on popsicle sticks, which makes it so much easier for me to come up with additional chore assignments - sometimes in the moment, it's hard to think of what even needs to be done, and what a particular child is capable of based on his/her age.  If the jobs are being taken on volitionally, the red dots signal how many stickers/checks each job is worth.  (Stickers are not awarded in the case of Grumble Jobs, which are assigned when kids are complaining or bickering.  The satisfaction of a Grumble Job well done is its own reward - and the threat of more Grumble Job assignments is its own incentive to turn the attitude around.)

We do pay allowance for their jobs, which I know is not everyone's cup of tea.  I could dive in deeper, but for now I'll just say that I haven't found that it makes the kids feel entitled, nor does it encourage them to demand payment for every little thing they do around here.  They receive allowance for their daily assigned jobs, but there are lots of little things they're asked do each day as needs arise that they're not paid for.  They just pitch in because that's what family does.  The balance has worked out fine for us.

Each kid has three money jars: Give, Save and Spend.  When they complete a row, they get a dime for Give, a dime for Save, and two quarters for Spend.  When they finish a bonus row, they get a regular pay out, plus an extra quarter or two for each jar.

These are just regular mason jars with coin slot lids I found here.  

Again, everything is color-coded by kid, because we have so many jars to keep track of.  In addition to labeling the lids, I learned pretty quickly to also label the actual JAR, because once the lid is off, there's no telling whose jar is whose, or which category is which, which can wreak HAVOC.  I just slip a color-coded label into each jar, though at some point I could probably bust out the label maker for a more permanent solution.

Okay, if you're wondering what jobs each kid is assigned each day, here's a basic daily breakdown by age:

Click to enlarge; click here for the pdf.

Here are some extra jobs that I will assign if the need arises, but aren't typically expected of the kids on a regular week:

 Click to enlarge; click here for the pdf.

You'll notice I don't really assign jobs before the age of four or five.  Before those ages, I just have the little guys tag along with their big buddies and help in whatever way they can.  For example, Rocco helps Finneas carry laundry buckets downstairs, and participates in exercise time.  I have found that, unless there are older siblings around to set an example and help younger ones, kids can't really be expected to work independently until about age six (or even as late as seven for some boys).  Which means if you're dealing with a firstborn younger than six or seven, they'll only be able to consistently do these jobs with your active supervision and help.

And that is a very lengthy run-down of our current chore system!

happy monday! (on Sunday Funday, and why i don't blog on mondays.)

Happy Monday!

Once again, my favorite day of the week rolls around.  I know it's so weird, but I just love Mondays.  I really do.  It's like New Year's, but it comes every week - a blank page, the chance for a fresh start, the opportunity to decide what I want to do with the chunk of time stretched out in front of myself.

We have big plans for the day: getting caught up from the weekend, doing normal-day stuff, and running a few errands.  Kind of boring, I know, but I'm ready for it.

One of the things Todd has mentioned before is that you know you're doing Sunday right if you end up looking forward to Monday, and I think that's true.  I really think that over the course of the last few years, as we've chosen to be more intentional with how we spend and protect our Sundays, the happier I've been with the chance to get back to work on Monday.

Like the masses, we call Sunday, "Sunday Funday."  We talk it up all week to the kids, we look forward to it, we protect it, we prepare for it in advance.  Church is the obvious and first activity of the day, so a lot of our preparations revolve around that.

I shower on Saturday night so I don't have to spend as much time blow drying my hair before church.  I make a pan of baked oatmeal on Friday or Saturday so I don't have to cook breakfast, and we serve it in paper bowls so I don't have dishes to do.  All the kids' church clothes are kept in one closet on the main floor, so laying out their clothes takes about five minutes.  (I can post a video I recorded a while back with our church closet organization, if anyone's interested.)  We try to streamline the morning as much as possible.

After church, we grab lunch to bring home.  It makes lunch so easy to serve and clean up, and gives the kids the feeling of it being a 'special' meal.  Sometimes it's something small like McDonald's, sometimes it's brisket from a local barbecue place (and currently, with this pregnancy, a lot of times I run into Hu Hot and make myself a to-go bowl because Mama's never not hungry for stir fry).  We get home, and we all change into jammies right away before sitting down to eat.  After lunch, the kids play for a bit, Todd and I spend some time debriefing after church.  After that, it's naptime.

Everyone at our house naps on Sundays, even the grownups.  (Admittedly, I prefer not to nap, but to just sit and enjoy the absolute stillness on my own, but this pregnancy has worn me out and I often fall asleep on the couch before naptime even officially starts.)  The whole afternoon is taken up with naptime, and it's glorious.

After naps, we serve cereal for dinner, which sounds super low key, but is really wonderful.  There's no cooking, no planning, no leftovers to box up.  We serve it in paper bowls, so again, no clean up.  The kids think it's a party, everyone wins.  (Todd and I usually scrounge up leftovers or something, since cereal doesn't exactly fill us up.)

After dinner, we all cuddle up together on the big sectional and watch a movie together.  I usually spend the time folding the week's clean laundry so I don't have to do that throughout the week.  Plus, I really get restless just sitting in front of the TV with nothing to do with my hands, so it's a great time to kill two birds with one stone.  After the movie's over, I pass out stacks of folded laundry for kids to put away, and everyone heads to their beds for their bedtime routines with Todd.  (I don't really do bedtime - praise the Lord for a husband who is willing to muster the energy required for those shenanigans).

And at that point, Todd and I do whatever we need to in order to wrap up the weekend - sometimes we still have Family Table stuff to go over, sometimes we read for a bit, and often we just curl up on the couch and watch Netflix.

We almost never waver from this routine if it can be at all prevented.  We don't go to Super Bowl parties or after-church lunches.  We avoid pretty much anything we can that takes away from family time, and we don't really work around the house on principle.  The entire day is so restful and slow and recharging, but it's also sufficient rest and slowness to feel ready to get back to our normal pace of life, which is what I love about it.  It's not the kind of leisure that makes me feel like continuing to indulge past the point of helpfulness.  It's limited, and it feels limiting, and that's actually one of its best qualities.

Sunday Funday is actually why I've stopped posting blogs on Mondays.  I actually write each day's post the day ahead, and I wasn't enjoying having an obligation hanging over my head to get accomplished at some point on Sunday.  (And I'm not organized enough to write one further in advance than that.)  So Monday posts are a thing of the past (after this, obviously), and I couldn't be happier about it.

Now.  Now that Sunday's over, it's time to party it up for MONDAY FUNDAY!  Trip to Drop Off Old Crap at Goodwill, here I come!

'what's up' weekly.

This has been a great week.  We took the week off of school to rest, recover, and spend some time catching up on things that kind of get overlooked when we're hitting the books.  I cleaned the bathrooms, including the showers!, which was a major feat.  (Atticus wipes down the upstairs bathroom every day, but it needs adult attention occasionally, and the downstairs bathroom was so very scary after the stretch of neglect it's been facing.  To give you an idea, I was informed today that one child has been working perfecting what has been dubbed 'fireworks peeing.'  It explains so much of what I encountered this week.)

I washed shower curtains, mopped floors, bleached grout.  It was freeing.  Also exhausting.  I plan on giving it another six months before any of that happens again.  (At which point, I'll have a newborn, so then I'll put it off another six months.  So my bathrooms will be clean again sometime around next February.)

I worked on laundry, got caught up on the kids' homeschool records, made a bunch of appointments I've been putting off, and tried (and admittedly failed) to get some medical insurance issues squared away.  I was a regular lady-on-a-mission.  Plus, an incident early on in the week necessitated taking the LEGO collection away for a while, so the house stayed relatively tidy on its own accord.  *Patting self on back for job well done.*

On Monday, I had a midwife appointment early in the morning, so I chucked the kids in the van and hauled tuckus over there, just to spend 2 minutes in the exam room being weighed and measured, and then told to return for more of the same thing in two weeks.  I really hate this part of pregnancy, when they expect to see your face every seven seconds, but they don't make it seem all that worth it.  At this point, I'm kind of like, "I'll call you if anything comes up; otherwise, plan on seeing me next around the time that the baby is crowning."

In order to make our outing seem less pointless, we hit Hobby Lobby on the way home.  I got some felt to make a puzzle mat (over the weekend, a friend gave us a puzzle, and I'm wanting to get it started and maybe even done before spring.  Which seems like a realistic hope, considering winter seems to be just now getting its legs and cajones), and I got a few supplies to make some beeswax candles.  I have developed a strong reaction to paraffin and soy candles, but I'm wanting to create some more ambiance around here, so beeswax it is.  Unfortunately, they're crazy expensive, so I'm hoping to head into Hobby Lobby every once in a while with a coupon to buy the wax and hopefully cut costs that way.

On Tuesday morning I hung out with a friend, and then Todd and I spent some time in the evening working on the church building.  Anthem has a home!  (For the last two and a half years, we've been meeting in the conference center of a local hotel.)  This will be our first weekend in our new space, and there was a lot of last minute stuff needing to be done, so the Connection Groups met out there to work instead of doing their regular thing.  We left the kids with a new babysitter, and I think the sheer number of them ended up being a bit overwhelming for her.  At one point, Callista found herself unsupervised and promptly started brushing her teeth with the toothbrush we clean Stumpi with.  So the fact that she hasn't come down with Legionnaire's disease this week is pure miracle.  Praise hands.

Wednesday, we headed up to the Amish in the morning, spent the afternoon with a friend, and in the evening I called my sister for her 30th birthday!  ('What's so special about a 30th birthday?' asked the kids, to which Penelope responded, 'Thirty is when you stop being a young adult and start just being an adult.'  Astute observation, Eight Year Old Child.)

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and we tried to elevate the day a bit.  I'm not really a celebrater-of-things by nature, but I'm trying to get better, and what better gateway holiday to observe than Valentine's Day, I ask you?  So we did a popcorn party for lunch, at which I surprised them with expired bags of M&M's I bought for a quarter apiece at the Amish store.  Surprise!  Then Todd came home over his lunch break to carry on our yearly tradition of encouraging the boys to give each girl a flower.  The boys love being chivalrous, the girls love being doted on, the whole thing is so much fun.

Things turned south for Laurelai for some unknown reason.  At least she didn't get overly dramatic about it.

Then for dinner last night, I made stir-fry, which was nothing special in and of itself (especially if you were to ask Callista, who was so determined not to eat it that she somehow managed to fling it all over the walls, the china cabinet, the curtains, the table, the floor, etc., etc.) but we presented the kids with a small gift each.  This is NOT typical for our house - first of all, I'm not really a natural gift-giver, and second of all, anything I give them I then have to store and keep organized, so I have a lot of incentive to not give gifts.  But I'm trying to grow.

A couple other items of note regarding yesterday: it was in the mid-sixties outside, so the kids played outside for like three hours and came in just COVERED in mud.  Of course it was right after I'd washed the shower curtains... sigh.  But also, an older mom from church came over and chatted away the afternoon with me, and it was so wonderful.  What a great day.

And that brings us to today!  We have plans to meet up with a few friends - a family with nine kids in the morning; a family with five kids in the afternoon.  It's going to be like an all-day party.  (Are you seeing a theme here?  This is how we spend our off-school weeks, because I don't really do many meet-ups anymore during regular weeks; so we get super social for one very intense week every couple of months).  But the weather is supposed to be bad again - five inches of snow in the forecast for today?? - so we may or may not have to cancel our plans.  I hate driving around here when the weather is bad, since they don't clear the roads and I can't guarantee I'll be able to get up our hill on the way home.  So we'll play it by ear.

In pregnancy news, I'm in the single-digit countdown now.  I'm gaining a ton of weight, we haven't picked a name yet, I haven't even started planning freezer meals or pulling out baby clothes.  I think I'm in a bit of denial still... I'm hoping the reality that THIS BABY IS COMING SOON will hit me sooner rather than later so I get my tail in gear.  But I'm going to just remain in blissful ignorance a liiiiiittle longer.

Hey, remember how my hair used to be naturally curly?  This photo makes it look like that's still my default state, but sadly, no.  You have no idea how much blackmail and coercion and bribery went into getting my hair to show any sign of life.

Apparently, my hair's natural level of buoyancy is a direct reflection of my own.

And that was our week!  In case you didn't see it, there's a quilt raffle currently happening to help us with the expense of purchasing a passenger van in which to fit us all once the new baby comes.  Entries are just $5, and a winner will be announced next Wednesday - so go here for details on how to get in on that while you still can!

our best-loved quilts (and a RAFFLE!)

When Finneas was born, my friend Emily made him an amazing quilt, with paper-pieced foxes in honor of his middle name (Foxe) and chevrons as a subtle homage to the V's in our last name.  It was so thoughtful and personal, and adorable to boot.

Finneas has grown up with this quilt as his special blankie.  He has loved it from Day One, and it's his biggest source of comfort.  (I joke with Todd that if there's ever a tornado, we need to make sure we get all the kids and Finneas' blanket into the basement, because it's that necessary to his peaceful existence.)

Over the years, it's become quite, um, personalized.  It started with one frayed corner that he would rub against the side of his face... then the corner turned into an entire edge... then the edge kind of migrated around some other corners... then they started working their way toward the center... until it now currently looks like this:

Those poor little foxes have seen better days.

I am constantly finding tiny, ripped pieces of his quilt floating around the house, but heaven forbid I should throw any of them away.  He has a whole corner of a dresser drawer devoted to housing frayed, orphaned Blankie Bits.  "Love" is clearly not a strong enough word to describe his feelings for this quilt.

Recently, Emily also sent us a quilt for the new baby, which was meaningful for so many reasons: first of all, we have a soft spot in our hearts for "Emily quilts" because of how much the first one has been loved; second of all, it's beautiful and it was so kind of her to think of us and to put all the work into making it; and third of all, it's the first gift the new baby has received - the first thing that's really and exclusively 'hers.'  As we have each new baby, I am more and more committed to wanting them to have things they're able to celebrate as their very own - things that illustrate the fact that they're not just one of a crowd of kids, but that they're unique people with gifts and stories and items that are only theirs to claim.  So I love that the very first item that is truly, only this baby's is so incredibly personal and beautiful.

Gah, I'm getting all sappy over this quilt!

But to top of all of our love and affection for Emily and her quilt gifts, she also approached me with the idea to raffle off another quilt she's made, as a generous way to help us save up money for the crazy-big van we're needing to buy soon in which to schlep all these kids around.  I am just in love with this quilt, and I wanted to extend an invitation to you guys to enter the raffle to win it if you'd like to have one of Emily's quilts in your own home!

Raffle entries are $5, and you can purchase as many entries as you'd like!  (Think about how amazing it would be if you were the one who snagged this handmade quilt for five dollars.  Can you even imagine?!)  Proceeds from the ticket sales go to our van savings fund.  So every time you see us driving around in our massive van, you can think, "I helped to make that circus happen."  And that will be a good feeling.

If you'd like to purchase a raffle entry (or two! or more!), you can send money through Paypal (send to emily@the-vardemans.net as a friend) or get in touch with her through this Facebook post.  A winner will be announced next Wednesday, the 20th.

We'd love it so much if you'd consider supporting us in this way - and join us as a member of Emily's fan club by entering to add this awesome quilt to your own home!

what's up weekly.

What a week, what a week, what a week, what a mighty good(/okay) week.

This week's weather was downright crazytown.  65 degrees each day over the weekend, single digits and school shut-downs by Thursday.  We did head up to the Amish on Wednesday, which was all fine and dandy until we hit the gravel roads.  It was like driving on a skating rink: just a solid, glassy, Zamboni'd sheet of ice.  Plus it was raining, plus the temperature was dropping quickly, so everything was perilous and becoming perilouser by the minute.  But the gravel roads comprise the last five minutes of our forty-minute drive, and they're relatively straight and level; it seemed like such a waste to turn around at that point, so onward we ventured.

I skipped stopping for butter and cream at Irene's house, and I skipped stopping at the bulk store for oats and salt and local honey and discount tortilla chips, and went straight to the bakery.  I grabbed up our milk, eggs and bread for the week, and hightailed it out of there.  And by "high-tailed it," I mean, "drove six miles an hour up the Devil's banana peel that was the gravel road until we hit pavement."  Non-eventful, but not non-stressful; though we were listening to the last chapters of the Chamber of Secrets the entire time, so the kids were dead silent (as though petrified by a basilisk?!) while I commandeered our vessel to safer waters.  Quiet kids always make stressful driving a little easier.

It continued to rain and snow throughout the rest of the afternoon and through the night on Wednesday.  We had been planning on attending a little homeschool gathering at the public school planetarium on Thursday, which the kids were excited about, but it was cancelled since the schools were closed.  The kids were bummed, but I was secretly cheering.  Introverts, I know you hear me when I say cancelling plans and staying home instead is the most soul-satisfying thing that exists in all of God's creation.  I can physically taste the glory of a well-cancelled plan.  I wish I could write "cancel plans" on my to-do lists as an activity in itself.  Ahhhhh.  Anyway.  Our planetarium visit wasn't totally cancelled, but merely postponed, so I guess that's a good thing, since we really did want to check it out.

I've tried to spend a bit of one-on-one time with the kids this week.  (There are a lot of kids milling around over here, so I didn't get to them all yet, but I've at least started the ball rolling.)  Penelope and I played a rousing game of Scrabble, which was actually, genuinely fun.  I love this process of watching my daughters become my peers before my very eyes, and sharing interests with them.  I beat her, but not by much, and I wasn't holding back.  Should we spend much more time playing together, I'm confident she'll be better than me before long.

Piggy back rides!  Sisters aboard!

Finneas and I spent our one-on-one time playing Go Fish, and I was really impressed by how well he re-directed his disappointment at losing.  He is really growing in maturity lately: taking initiative to help others with their chores, speaking unprompted encouraging words, and making the effort to be in charge of his emotions.  He really is growing into a leader, and I couldn't be more proud.

Piggy-Bat rides.

Laurelai and I spent our one-on-one time doing her very favorite thing of all: running math drills.  She loves mathematical word problems.  She's also a genius at puzzles.  (Sidenote: I'm thinking of starting a sizable jigsaw puzzle with the big kids.  Has anyone done this before with kids?  Any tips?  Any experience with using a roll-up puzzle mat?)  I'm excited to see how this analytical part of her mind continues to develop!

Hmmmm… what else...

The girls and I attended a baby shower for a sweet friend, at which Penelope jumped wholeheartedly into playing the games.  (Laurelai refrained, due to the fact that she is a chipmunk-human: tiny and adorable and SKIT.TISH.)  She had fun playing Pictionary; she almost barfed playing "Guess the Baby Food Flavor."  She's now been officially hazed into baby shower culture.

Todd preached a double-hitter: Salt on Thursday last week, and then Sunday morning at Anthem.  The biggest two kids went with him on Thursday, and had a blast.  I love that they're getting to grow up with the example of their dad being a leader and a teacher, and getting the privilege of hearing him teach from the Bible on a regular basis.  What a strange, cool opportunity for them.  (To hear his Sunday sermon on the cost of building our lives on the foundation of Christ, go here.)

At Salt Company, our college ministry.

At 'big church' on Sunday.  Todd thinks he needs someone to photoshop a Jimmy Johns #9 into his hands so you can really get a feel for his passion.

Atticus is, as ever, completely obsessed with the World Wars, and military machinery.  He is also continuing to pursue his passion for drawing.  I found a couple of really great war-meets-art books at the library (Dazzle Ships: WWI and the Art of Confusion, and A Soldier's Sketchbook: The Illustrated First World War Diary of R.H. Rabjohn; both affiliate links) and he has been absolutely inspired.  The main thing happening as a result is his dedication to now keeping a diary - full not only of descriptions of his day, but of illustrations of his daily life.  It is INCREDIBLE.

Drawing our piano.

And, as always, the kids are just an absolute joy.  Words really cannot describe how much delight they bring me - and each other - every single day.  This time with them is such a gift.

This brother had a hard week that included a major head cold, a fever, and explosive guts.  It meant more snuggles for me, which I refuse to complain about.  He even slept on a toddler mattress next to my side of the bed one night, and I got to reach out and rub his back or hold his hand whenever he needed it.  Swoon.

Blurry, but awesome.  She plays classical music on the Baby Einstein phone pressed against one ear, while she waggles her finger around and dances like a maniac.  Dancing is her absolute joy.

World's Tiniest BatLady.

They built a man out of antique Tinker Toys (AnTinquer Toys?) and then posed... as him.

Bathtime Buddies.

In pregnancy news, I am still as large and lethargic as ever.  More so, even, if that's possible.  The couch is my constant companion, ever a true and faithful friend in times of exhaustion.  Food is a total bane, sleep is ample and yet still inadequate.  BUT.  I think the baby has dropped, which means I can breathe easier, which is an incredible blessing.  And, as I've gotten bigger, something as mundane as Todd removing the pantry door so I can actually fit through the pantry doorway has been a life-changer.  So things seem to be headed in a good direction.

what i've been up to lately. (non-spoiler non-alert: it hasn't been blogging).

I am so sorry I haven't been around much lately!  It's not for lack of material - I have all kinds of ideas for upcoming blog posts.  More thoughts on specific self-care topics.  A room tour of Callista's nursery (now that it's going to be her nursery for only a short while longer).  A look into our current homeschool routine, and some thoughts on curriculum.  A pretty thorough investigation into whether it's worth it to use Instacart to get groceries delivered from Aldi (including a video and spreadsheets and everything!).  Honestly, it's all good stuff that I'm excited to get to.

But the thing is, I've had lots of other stuff going on.  Actually, that's kind of a lie.  I've had very little going on, but that's the point.  This pregnancy is kicking my butt, and I've been needing to eliminate most unnecessaries in order to focus my limited energy on the most important things.  Which really could roll itself into a post on self-care ("Know your limits; be willing to say no to good things in the name of saying yes to your God-given priorities; you can't always do all the stuff you think you should or could, so sit down and be humble" etc. etc.) but I'll let that ride for another time.

In seasons where I don't have a lot to give, I really have to evaluate what my priorities are, and just try to pour everything I've got into those things, and let the rest go.  Right now, my main concerns have been:

- Getting school done.  One of the truly beautiful things about homeschooling is that it is meant to be seasonal.  It's not just public school at home, thank goodness.  It truly is school as an extension of the home, in which learning and real life are never expected to be competing pursuits.  An education that acknowledges this is a true gift, because it's sustainable as a long-term lifestyle.  I want my kids to understand and respect this.  It's okay to take school off because we need rest, or it's a beautiful day outside, or it's a season that requires our energies to be put elsewhere.  But we always come back to the beauty and fun and nourishment of learning, because we recognize our need and hunger for it when it's dormant.

But I am also recognizing all that we miss when I allow those seasons of No School to grow long.  We all get out of sorts.  We miss the reading together, and the chatting about books and art and ideas, and the structure school provides.  We miss out on the discovery of knowledge that motivates further excitement.  And also... we don't finish our math workbooks by the end of the year.  (Homeschool isn't all misty-eyed wonder and vague feel-goodism.  Sometimes you just gotta do your math.)

So I'm trying to direct my energy at keeping that part of life relatively stable.


- Resting and eating well.  Because I spent the last couple of months of pregnancy feeling good, I pushed a bit too hard and got a little too lazy in doing the things I know I should have been doing.  I am back to taking near-daily naps, and I'm trying to get back on track with eating well.  I am having a difficult time with it, though - certain foods are really messing with my moods and my energy, but I'm having a hard time pinpointing what exactly I'm most needing to feel good.  It's been a lot of troubleshooting, and a lot of feeling under the weather when I guess wrong.  A lot of mental energy is expended trying to figure out what to eat and when, and much of our schedule is dictated by when I need to sleep.


- Organizing my kitchen and laundry room.  This sounds dumb, but I can assure you, it's not.  I have a small, poorly designed kitchen with very limited space.  It is driving me batty, especially as my body gets bigger (but the naaaaaaaaaarrow opening to the pantry doesn't).  I really need to get a creative handle on things in order to function well and without my current levels frustration.  My plan is to get some overflow pantry storage set up in my laundry room, but that means I also have to clean out my laundry room.  So this has taken some of my most energetic hours.

This weekend, Todd rode in on a white horse, wielding a screwdriver, and removed that door altogether.  RIP, janky door.  Once I get some energy back, I'll be DANCING ON YOUR GRAVE.  

- Reading and learning.  I'm trying to feed my mind while my body is kind of on layoff at the moment.  I've been working through a Bible read-through plan, and I'm excited to say I've been really consistent with it so far.  I've also been reading some really edifying books on motherhood, and listening to some Sally Clarkson podcasts.  I've been trying to exercise my brain when I can, because a) what else am I doing while I'm lying on the couch like a sack of potatoes, and b) I know the newborn stage is coming, in which my mind turns to mashed potatoes for a while.  (Potatoes sound really good right now.)  I want to spend this time nourishing myself for the hibernation I suspect may be coming.

And that's basically it.  Honestly, it's barely anything.  If listing it out makes it sound at all productive, I can assure you it's not.  I spend a lot of time just laying on the couch with a heat pack strapped to my back, a belly band supporting my front, and a cushion between my knees.  So very fancy.  But that's okay with me.  It's what I need to do right now, and I know that there will come an upswing at some point.  If aging has taught me anything, it's that life is seasonal.  I'm learning to humble myself and just submit to each season without fighting it too hard.

Hopefully I'll soon be up for posting a bit more regularly, but in the meantime, thanks for bearing with me!

'what's up' weekly.

Guys.  I think I'm dying.  Like, maybe of pregnancy, maybe of pregnancy-induced boredom, maybe of It's February Now.  But all I know is that I'm pretty sure I'm circling the drain.

I'm 29 weeks along now, and I'm back to being couch-bound.  I always forget that that second trimester window of mobility and energy is so very fleeting.  But now I'm getting big enough that it's hard to move around, and the baby is sitting right on my lungs, so it's hard for me to ever get a full breath.  I always feel like I just got home from running a marathon - except the thing that has left me so out of breath is not, in fact, some great feat of athleticism, but usually something more along the lines of trying to change out of sweatpants that are too tight.  (Yes.  The waistband of my sweatpants is now officially too small.  Sigh.)

So, it's been a week of observing life pass me by while I'm horizontal on the couch... yet again.  I have spent a good portion of that time reading, finishing up a Sally Clarkson book, working my way through Little Women and Slow Medicine, and starting a Nancy Wilson book.  But honestly, I'm pretty sure my brain is underoxygenated, so reading hasn't even taken top priority.  I kind of hit a crisis point yesterday when I was like, "I'm so bored, but there's nothing I even want to do instead."

I'm hoping that the baby will drop at some point and give me back some breathing room.  I really think I would have more energy if I could just catch a breath.

In more positive health news, Stumpi seems to be making a miraculous recovery from her mystery illness.  Before, she was lethargic, basically immobile, and pale, and wouldn't eat or drink much.  But after installing her new UVB light, all of a sudden she's like a new turtle.  She is on the MOVE, friends.  Eating like she's starving, motoring around her cage on a mission, peering up at me with her beady (and, dare I say, grateful) little eyes, stretching her little nubbin-leg out to soak up all those sweet, sweet rays of sunshine.  With results like these, I'm starting to think that there's a reptile lamp-shaped hole in my own life.  Maybe my problem all along has not actually been the toll of pregnancy, but of the lack of a reptile lamp pointed at my face all day.

In news NOT related to my obsession with our hand-me-down pet turtle, I took all the kids with me to a midwife appointment on Monday, and they did swimmingly.  I was so surprised.  Callista just chilled in the umbrella stroller like a total champ (sometimes I give out Star Kid awards as bribery for good behavior in public, and she definitely won Star Kid), and the other kids just sat and looked at books.  I'm glad they seem able to keep it together in the cramped exam room, because I'm starting my every-two-week appointments now, and we'll be in there quite often.  The appointment itself went well - they let me decline the glucose drink in favor of just having an A1C blood test run, and I was cleared to cancel my upcoming ultrasound appointments.

I just really feel in my gut that the baby is okay, and extra ultrasounds make me nervous.  Spending a bunch of time looking for problems that may or may not be there will only end up with interventions that might not be helpful or necessary.  So I'm grateful the midwives were totally fine with me just waiting it out unless there seemed to be a clear reason for another ultrasound before the birth.

Monday night, Atticus accompanied me on a grocery shopping trip, and then we hunkered down for the forecasted Polar Vortex.  Oh, did you not hear?  Were you living under a well-insulated rock?  It was cold this week, as proven by the one billion screenshots of local temperatures all over Facebook as everyone attempted to win the Coldest Victim of the Coldest Cold Ever award.

In truth, I can afford to be snarky because I don't work outside the home, and I didn't have to drive my kids anywhere, so I honestly am just taking everyone's word for it that it was cold outside.  For us, life looked pretty normal.  Todd even walked to and from work, like always.

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A post shared by Todd Van Voorst (@toddhenryvanvoorst) on Jan 30, 2019 at 4:14pm PST

As for the rest of the week, it has been supremely uneventful.  School.  Books.  Daily naps.  Repeat.  Not too shabby!