what i've been up to lately. (non-spoiler non-alert: it hasn't been blogging).

I am so sorry I haven't been around much lately!  It's not for lack of material - I have all kinds of ideas for upcoming blog posts.  More thoughts on specific self-care topics.  A room tour of Callista's nursery (now that it's going to be her nursery for only a short while longer).  A look into our current homeschool routine, and some thoughts on curriculum.  A pretty thorough investigation into whether it's worth it to use Instacart to get groceries delivered from Aldi (including a video and spreadsheets and everything!).  Honestly, it's all good stuff that I'm excited to get to.

But the thing is, I've had lots of other stuff going on.  Actually, that's kind of a lie.  I've had very little going on, but that's the point.  This pregnancy is kicking my butt, and I've been needing to eliminate most unnecessaries in order to focus my limited energy on the most important things.  Which really could roll itself into a post on self-care ("Know your limits; be willing to say no to good things in the name of saying yes to your God-given priorities; you can't always do all the stuff you think you should or could, so sit down and be humble" etc. etc.) but I'll let that ride for another time.

In seasons where I don't have a lot to give, I really have to evaluate what my priorities are, and just try to pour everything I've got into those things, and let the rest go.  Right now, my main concerns have been:

- Getting school done.  One of the truly beautiful things about homeschooling is that it is meant to be seasonal.  It's not just public school at home, thank goodness.  It truly is school as an extension of the home, in which learning and real life are never expected to be competing pursuits.  An education that acknowledges this is a true gift, because it's sustainable as a long-term lifestyle.  I want my kids to understand and respect this.  It's okay to take school off because we need rest, or it's a beautiful day outside, or it's a season that requires our energies to be put elsewhere.  But we always come back to the beauty and fun and nourishment of learning, because we recognize our need and hunger for it when it's dormant.

But I am also recognizing all that we miss when I allow those seasons of No School to grow long.  We all get out of sorts.  We miss the reading together, and the chatting about books and art and ideas, and the structure school provides.  We miss out on the discovery of knowledge that motivates further excitement.  And also... we don't finish our math workbooks by the end of the year.  (Homeschool isn't all misty-eyed wonder and vague feel-goodism.  Sometimes you just gotta do your math.)

So I'm trying to direct my energy at keeping that part of life relatively stable.


- Resting and eating well.  Because I spent the last couple of months of pregnancy feeling good, I pushed a bit too hard and got a little too lazy in doing the things I know I should have been doing.  I am back to taking near-daily naps, and I'm trying to get back on track with eating well.  I am having a difficult time with it, though - certain foods are really messing with my moods and my energy, but I'm having a hard time pinpointing what exactly I'm most needing to feel good.  It's been a lot of troubleshooting, and a lot of feeling under the weather when I guess wrong.  A lot of mental energy is expended trying to figure out what to eat and when, and much of our schedule is dictated by when I need to sleep.


- Organizing my kitchen and laundry room.  This sounds dumb, but I can assure you, it's not.  I have a small, poorly designed kitchen with very limited space.  It is driving me batty, especially as my body gets bigger (but the naaaaaaaaaarrow opening to the pantry doesn't).  I really need to get a creative handle on things in order to function well and without my current levels frustration.  My plan is to get some overflow pantry storage set up in my laundry room, but that means I also have to clean out my laundry room.  So this has taken some of my most energetic hours.

This weekend, Todd rode in on a white horse, wielding a screwdriver, and removed that door altogether.  RIP, janky door.  Once I get some energy back, I'll be DANCING ON YOUR GRAVE.  

- Reading and learning.  I'm trying to feed my mind while my body is kind of on layoff at the moment.  I've been working through a Bible read-through plan, and I'm excited to say I've been really consistent with it so far.  I've also been reading some really edifying books on motherhood, and listening to some Sally Clarkson podcasts.  I've been trying to exercise my brain when I can, because a) what else am I doing while I'm lying on the couch like a sack of potatoes, and b) I know the newborn stage is coming, in which my mind turns to mashed potatoes for a while.  (Potatoes sound really good right now.)  I want to spend this time nourishing myself for the hibernation I suspect may be coming.

And that's basically it.  Honestly, it's barely anything.  If listing it out makes it sound at all productive, I can assure you it's not.  I spend a lot of time just laying on the couch with a heat pack strapped to my back, a belly band supporting my front, and a cushion between my knees.  So very fancy.  But that's okay with me.  It's what I need to do right now, and I know that there will come an upswing at some point.  If aging has taught me anything, it's that life is seasonal.  I'm learning to humble myself and just submit to each season without fighting it too hard.

Hopefully I'll soon be up for posting a bit more regularly, but in the meantime, thanks for bearing with me!