take a walk on the wild side. (i mean, a drive through the wildlife loop.)

One of our favorite things to do when we're up in Custer is to take a drive through the Custer State Park wildlife loop.

There are so many things to see - buffalo, burros, deer, sheep, prairie dogs, active duty military running drills in full gear.  You know.  But in the past we have typically driven through at sunset, when the animals are active but the visitor's center is closed.

This year, we went during the day, and had a blast.  Obviously, we saw plenty of animals, though Atticus was bummed there weren't any military drills happening this year.

But the biggest highlights were the two visitor centers within the park.

We even found a rock climbing wall, and the kids were seriously in heaven.  If anyone has any ideas of what it would take to install a kids' climbing wall in our basement, I'd be interested to chat with you.  I've been thinking for a while it would be a good Christmas gift for them, but once they were actually able to try one, it was obvious they'd love it.

The kids were doing awesome through the visitor center - curious, engaged, quiet enough.  Apparently it wasn't enough to deter a couple of people from making negative comments to me and Todd about the number of kids we have.  It was a true joy to get to justify our kids' existence to complete strangers.  But oh well.  In the immortal words of Taylor Swift, "haters gonna hate."  Shrug.


After the climbing wall, we were headed into the Imax theater room to watch a movie about Custer State Park.  (Narrated by Kevin Costner!  Honestly, I always get him mixed up with Kevin Spacey and Kevin Kline - the entire movie, I thought I was listening to the voice of Marcus Skinner from Orange County.  HOWEVER.  I would not tell the dear people of South Dakota these things - they dearly love their Kevin Costner, who seems to dearly love them in return.)

Since Team Negative Nancies headed into the theater shortly before us, I knew we could all benefit from a little powwow before going in ourselves.  ("Some people don't know yet that large families are great! Let's show them what a blessing we can be by behaving well - sitting quietly, watching the movie without wiggling or talking, and being respectful to the people around us.")  In all honesty, it sometimes stinks knowing that critical eyes are occasionally on us, expecting us to fail and then attributing our failures to large family choices at large.  It stinks being the 'face' of large families to some - we are, after all, just a group of intensely human people.  But at the same time, it's also a privilege that we get the chance to show people that children don't have to be stressful, chaotic burdens, even in large numbers.  (Go figure, right?)

Pre-game Pep Talk

Callista was apparently not listening during pre-game warm up, so she was benched.  She hung out with Todd outside the theater while the rest of us finished the movie.  She wasn't mad bout it.

After the movie, we all got to spend a little time doing our favorite things - the kids got to spend some time out in nature...

...and I got to get some tacos from a street truck back in town.

Does it bother me that the word "authentic" is intentionally scraped out of the lettering on the side of the truck?

Tacoooooooos.

Nope.  I may or may not have gone back out for more once the kids were down for naps.  And any day that ends with me getting street tacos twice is a good day, indeed.

post-vacation old-person hangover is a THING.

I heard somewhere once that you know you have a large family when you spend longer packing for vacation than you spend on the vacation itself.  This is true.

What I had not been previously informed of is that you know you must be old and raising a large family when it takes you longer to recover from going on vacation than the time you spent packing and on vacation combined.

If that really is the case, I must be ancient and my family must be massive, because HOT DANG, Y'ALL.  I still cannot get off the couch, and we've been home for six days now.  What is wrong with me?!

I seriously feel like I lost a cage match.  Yesterday, I did actually rouse myself long enough to drive up to the Amish and stop at the grocery store on the way home, but by the time I even walked in the door of the grocery store, I was famished and nearing total expiration.  It led to some... bad decisions.  For lunch yesterday, I ate sushi, a bean burrito, and clam chowder.  (I'll grant that this may be part of the reason that I feel like walking death.)

So this is me saying that I am now thirty-two years old and clearly on my way to the grave.  I take naps at 10:30 a.m.  I eye-roll at people with tattoos.  (Yes, yes. I realize they hypocrisy, but everyone else's tattoos are ugly and were clearly impulsive.)  I have it on my mental list to purchase both orthotic inserts for my Toms, and hot rollers.  I say things like, "When I was your age..." and, "These people and their gadgets..."

Why it didn't occur to me that it would take me a million years to recover from going on vacation is beyond me, but maybe that's just an indication of faulty faculties.

Whatever.  Off to take a nap.

been hangin' around (the house).

The first couple of days in South Dakota, we just hung around the house, recovering from our long drive and getting our bearings.  It sounds low-key enough, but we definitely didn't lack for things to occupy our time.

Brothers being tough guys.

Riding on the Harley with Grandpa Tony.

More tough guy shenanigans.

Coloring some trolls.

Girl chats with Grandma Jacqi.

Girl chats with... someone.

Reading books, because vacation.

Tuckered out.  I feel you, buddy.

Brothers on the Gator.

Duck Hunt.

Off-roading.

Whew.  I'm tired just scrolling through those photos.  I need to go lie down.

life in the fast lane. (because the speed limit in SD is 80, FYI.)

You guys didn't think I'd tell you we went on a road trip and then fail to blog about it?  Ho, ho. No.  Prepare yourselves for a long stretch of play-by-play commentary.  Sure, I might intersperse it with more hard-hitting and timely news pieces like whether or not I'm about to buy a pair of Ugg moccasins for my eight-year-old daughter, who will have no concept of the value of her footwear, and what I think about the identity crisis inherent in motherhood, and my expert opinion on the current political climate (ooooh, clickbait!  Immediate loss of readership no matter what I say!).  It's journalism like this that keeps you coming back, amiright?

However, today we're going to keep it light and fun and current.  Day One of our trip to South Dakota: Life on the Road!

We left around 5:00 a.m., and I fed the kids protein bars for breakfast on the drive.  Berry-flavored ones.  HUGE mistake.  Around the seedy business district of Kansas City, we had a major explosive-vomit incident in the back seat.  I will never smell anything berry-scented the same way again, and the remaining bars in the package have been thrown away, as none of the kids can stomach them after seeing and smelling that disaster take place.

Off to a good start.

We arrived at our first stop around 9:00.  It was a playground rest stop, and it was, of course, raining.  However, I was Mean Mom and made the kids get out and stretch their legs anyway, because we had a loooong day ahead of us.  They played for a while on the equipment, then Todd rounded them up for some calisthenics and laps around the perimeter.

I am just the supervisor of athletic activity; I don't deign to participate myself.  I have more important things to do, like keeping Callista dry and keeping my leg muscles as formless and soft as white bread.  It's hard work, but someone has to do it.

After our stop, everyone was feeling refreshed and ready to hit the road again.  Watching the kids exercise really wore Callista out, so she fell asleep.

For about two seconds.  Then she woke up.

This year, we were only able to fit everyone in the van by making serious cuts to our luggage.  One of the sacrifices was the loss of our cooler, and the resulting loss of the ability to pack a picnic lunch.  Oh, well.  We made due.

(Due to space restraints, we also did not pack the toddler potty, which has been a life saver in the past.  Thank the good Lord we didn't end up needing it this time.)

After carbo-loading at Pizza Ranch, we attempted to regulate our insulin by running around at Falls Park for a bit.

After Falls Park, Rocco caught the Callista bug, and spent his time protesting his inhumane confinement.

(And yes, for all you car seat safety sticklers out there, I realize the chest clip is too low.  That's actually what his drama was all about.  I wouldn't let him slide it down and take the shoulder straps off, he wouldn't forgive me, it was a whole thing.  Just let me live my truth without judgment.)

Our next stop was supposed to be the Murdo Drive-In for a dinner of burgers and shakes, but lo and behold, I forget that everyone who lives and operates businesses along I-90 is basically dead after Labor Day.  The world literally stops spinning for South Dakota during the off-season.

So we headed into the Badlands loop, half-starved.  It didn't seem to have us all too worked up, though (at least not right at first), and the weather was better than it has been in the past, so it was an enjoyable trip through.  Even Penelope was downright nonchalant about it.

I will admit, I did start getting hangry in the middle of it, which lowered my tolerance for millions of family photos.  I look dreamy when I'm annoyed and wasting away, don't I?

Once on the other side of the Badlands, we did eventually find a Subway and a Dairy Queen that were both still open at like 9:00 p.m., which definitely saved our marriage from complete collapse.  It was a close call, but we made it through, and we're stronger for it.

We arrived at Todd's parents' around 11:00, which was actually pretty good time for us.  We were worn out, but excited for the week ahead!

And, just because The Minivan Voorsts Facebook cover photo needed an updated shot from last year, Todd captured this up-to-date gem:

Come back tomorrow so you can read all about either our first full day in the Black Hills, OR my dilemma regarding the child-sized Uggs.  It's a coin-toss.

in which I justify my absence, and blasphemously plagiarize a mediocre song, and post glorious photos of my minivan.

I'M NOT DEAD, I'M SURELY ALIVE!
I'm living on the inside, stealing from the Newsboys.
I'm not dead, I'm surely alive!
I was on vacation, something-something-something...

That was my own personal take on a classic Christian music masterpiece.  Hope you liked it.

Anyway.  I'm sorry to make everyone worry by going AWOL the last couple of weeks, and I did make everyone worry.  My sister even called me at one point to make sure I hadn't died and then forgotten to tell her.  But she should have known that, even if it were the case that I had died, I have nine lives, like a cat.  That's why my friends call me Whiskers.  No need to worry.


The truth is, we were on vacation last week.  I hear you raising the objection that I have been dead silent around here for two weeks, to which I will respond that packing this number of people for """"""vacation"""""" is really a full-time job in itself.  By the time I'd gone shopping for the 'needs of the road,' and squeezed in a full week of homeschool, and napped like a sick-*** boss most days, I was out of time for blogging.  Priorities.

,
It was all worth it, though.  The Kristy Chrysler and I, and the rest of the V.V. Chumps, hit the open road like a regular boatload of Kerouacs.  See?  Don't I look like a regular Lone Wolf, lustily prowling the countryside in search of adventure and purpose?

These gypsies were equally untethered, basking in the glory of the open road.

Take a good long look at Callista sleeping: she slept for the exact total amount of time you have been looking at this photo.  The rest of the time she was screaming her little drifter head off and throwing literally every single thing she could get her hands on in her quest to make known her displeasure.

Oh, well; the Kristy Chrysler wasn't fazed.  She's a veteran of many wars, and has seen worse than this in her line of duty.  It takes more than a screaming toddler to ruffle her sturdy aluminum frame.

See?  Cool as a cucumber.

Soon, the Kristy and I will have to give you the rundown of the details of our trip, like how we saw Kobe Bryant YET AGAIN!  (I must admit, I'm pretty lucky when it comes to celebrity sightings.)  But for now, I must sign off.  Road tripping in our sardine-can clowncar has left me feeling like I'm recovering from a full-on stroke, and I need to find myself a bean burrito and a place to nap STAT or things are going to start getting hairy around here.

I'll talk to you tomorrow... and I WILL be here tomorrow! (Unless I actually die, or have a stroke, or for some less important reason I just decide not to show up because I'm a wildcard like that.  Shrug.)

how homeschooling is going three weeks in: nature walks.

Well, we've completed three weeks of school so far this year, and I'm feeling pretty good about myself.  Partly because I haven't resorted to stress-eating yet, and partly because I have actually taken the kids on two - count them, two - nature walks already.

For reference, we have lived here for two and a half years, and in that time, the total number of occasions on which I've taken them on a nature walk by myself is, well, two.  I think you can see why I'm feeling so accomplished.

Plus, it seems that nature walks are the perfect opportunity for spontaneous sibling hand-holds.  I just diiiiiiie.  (Please ignore their garish clothing; we were headed to the pool after our walk.)

"Hey, kids! Look directly into the sun and give me your best and most pained smiles!  Nailed it."

They were being kings and queens and toddlers of Narnia.

(Photo credit: Penelope.  Cute credit: ALL Callista.)

Once out of Narnia, they began storming the beach at Normandy.

 I have really loved having a scheduled time each week to hit the great outdoors.  The kids' imaginations really go nutso while we're out there, plus it doesn't hurt this Mom Bod to be getting out and moving on the regular.

Looking forward to exploring our neighborhood trails even more this fall!