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frugal beauty school (freauty school?)

i have sunk to new lows in money-saving madness.

as we have seen, i have a tendency to let my hair grow...and grow...and grow... (too bad hair can't really be harvested for anything useful.  i could have a goldmine on my hands...er, head.)  so this time, i was determined not to let it get out of control before getting another haircut.  and believe me when i tell you, i scheduled two haircut appointments in the same week just in case one didn't work out. 

well, excuse me for being a tightwad, but 32 bucks seemed a little hard to stomach and i got cold feet...and cancelled both of my appointments.  so now what to do?

enter my brilliant idea:  i will cut my own hair!  i mean, todd cuts his own, he cuts atticus', lauren cuts her own...and i'm no stranger to the homegrown haircut, although i've rarely personally cut more than just my bangs. but others have.

over the course of my life my poor hair has seen its share of desk scissors, kiddie scissors, $6 goody shears from walmart and, yes, even kitchen shears.  (a moment of silence for my poor fallen chunks of hair.)  in fact, my first 'paid' cut was when i was 14 and i could probably count on both of my hands the number of times someone has received cash in return for one of my haircuts since then.

not that i'm aching to relive the whole "half-my-hair-is-bangs" stage of life that i found myself in for too long a while, but i don't wonder now why my mom paid my old hairstylist with beer instead of cash...not that beer is cheap, either, but three bucks worth of beer goes a lot farther than three bucks in cash when it comes to cutting hair.  believe me, i know.  not that when you're twelve you thoroughly appreciate the bargain that is a slightly-buzzed hairstylist, but that's a story for another day.

anyway, back to the real point of this blog.  lucky for me, i spent neither beer nor cash for this 'do.  i just sweet-talked todd into cutting it all in a straight line, then i added my own layers and bangs.  i'm pretty happy with it, although i don't know that i'll be doing this every single time i need a haircut.  just enough to make those 32 big ones go a lot farther.

a few disclaimers, though, before you go around shaving your head and telling people you did it as per my guidance.  DO NOT cut your own hair if:

1. your toddler has run off with your only hand mirror so cutting layers in the back depends at all on the strength of your imagination.

2. your husband has an astigmatism, parkinson's, or has dipped into the stash of beer you were supposed to have saved by doing this yourself.  unless you're going for some kind of flock-of-seagulls asymmetry, make sure your husband is well-rested, wearing his glasses, and has not imbibed anything questionable recently. 

3. "good enough" is not good enough.  if you are hoping for salon perfection, mow a couple of lawns to pay for a decent haircut.  i won't judge you.

4. you straighten it for church and sit toward the front.  a curling iron will be my best friend here for a while because even though i eventually found my hand mirror (see #1), the back of my head is still a little 'iffy.'

5. your best friend cuts your hair.  seriously don't burn any bridges over this.  you'll need her later when your homecut goes seriously awry, as it is certain to do at some point, let's just be realistic.

6. don't try anything fancy.  you are no 'inverted bob.'  you are no 'halle berry pixie.'  you are a cheapskate who gets varying lengths of long layers.  live with it.  go a little wild with some bangs if you must.

i will also say that 'fiskars' is not an acceptable brand of haircutting shear.  nor is 'crayola.'  call me disloyal to the cause, but splurge the five bucks on a pair of actual hair scissors from walmart.

you have now graduated freauty school.  congratulations.  i look forward to seeing the semi-choppy but oh-so-frugal 'new you' around here soon.

3 comments :

YAYA said...

In contrast to the "half-your-hair-is-bangs" cuts of your formative years you were indeed STYLIN' with the $3 beer haircut! We were poor, but nuthin' was too good for my girl!

lauren said...

I love that mom finally admitted that we actually had those hair cuts. I like your tips and have definitely used every kind of scissor you mentioned on my hair as well.

☠This Is Me☠ said...

LOL being an 11th year veteran to cutting hair, the legal way, Beauty school I find this hilarious