PSA: neck beards = yuck.

okay, people.  now that it's january, i think it's high time to address neck beards.  and all i have to say about them is: don't.

don't get me wrong, i generally don't mind beards.  even long, mountain-manny beards are okay on motorcyclists and wrestlers.  and people in hollywood grow beards all the time in order to look like joe everymanbigbucks.  but there is one rule of beardedness that must never be broken:  SHAVE YOUR NECK.  nonnegotiable.

you don't have to do it up all metrosexual-like, where it looks like zorro sliced off the bottom of it.  but anything growing below where your gobbler would attach (if you were a turkey, obviously) needs to go.  or don't grow a beard at all.

i know i toe a hard line.  but i am an authority in this field (meaning, i have eyes).  and if that's not enough to persuade you, i'm pretty sure ryan gosling would agree with me, beardy though he may be.  if anyone wants to be contentious about this, take it up with ryan gosling.

1 comment :

todd said...

i do.
ryan gosling can stick it.

that said,

1 Corinthians 7:4

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Faith in God does not require me to agree with your position on this matter (since you are wrong) but it does require me to honor your preference since my body belongs to you.

you know how badly i would love to grow a real beard (not some poser chin strap), but have not because i would rather have you than a neck beard (as difficult as dying to my neck-bearded self and daily carrying my neck-bearded cross is).