how to have a crafty christmas and also not murder anyone.

we're having a crafty little christmas this year, mostly because in october todd took his car in for maintenance and it cost us over nine hundred dollars.  (yes, you read that right, and yes, i felt nauseous when i heard the news, too.)  so the budget for the kids' gifts is $10.  total.  combined.

so...ramshackle crafts it is.

one thing i have yet to consistently remember about myself is that, deep down, i usually really hate crafting.  i always forget and i look at pinterest and am like, oh i could do that/sew that/glue gun that!  how hard can it be? and i drop down and get my crafty on grrrl and it starts out actually really great.  i ride this wave of 'i am woman, watch me handstitch' for a while and feel pretty invincible.

but then something goes wrong.  my bobbin runs out of thread.  the tension gets all wonky.  i glue gun my fingers together.  and then i start cussing under my breath, but try to fix the problem and power through.

but then the problem is unfixable and something else goes wrong.  the freaking ruffle isn't ruffling.  the mesh is getting stuck in the sewing machine gears.  the machine stops working altogether shortly after the (last) needle (i have on hand) breaks.  and then, oh honey.  i go ape crap.

no more under-the-breath cussing for me.  i'm calling down curses from heaven on my sewing machine.  i'm threatening to rip the handmade doll (or, the unfinished parts of the handmade doll) limb from limb.  and then i storm out of the room and start to blog instead.

which is why i'm considering printing out a transcript of my blog for each of the kids, putting it in their stockings, and considering them christmas'd.  i think they'll like it.  at the very least, they'll appreciate that their gifts didn't come at the cost of me murdering someone in my craft-rage and spending christmas in prison.

merry handmade christmas, kiddies.


Emily said...

I'm familiar with craft rage. If I step away and take a breath and try again later, it usually works out. I'm happy to help if I'm able. Mostly I want a reason to hang out with you again. :)

todd said...


you beat me to the intellectual property of "craft-rage."

although mine is "kraft-rage," which has its own intellectual property difficulties.

that said, "craft-rage" should be a reoccuring them on your blog. although in saying that i am not wishing you future craft-rage. although without it, the precedent for a segment is made obsolete.


Danielle said...

We should hang out and I'll be crafty fire you. Honestly. It'll be good. Gimmi a week day.

Anonymous said...

At least you get to the crafting stage of things. I have a list of crafts that never gets done because I am a horrible crafter.

Suggestion: wrap some boxes and kitchen utensils. This would keep my kids happy as clams...if clams had emotions and could be happy that is.