visit des moines, we're des perate.

(the above slogan is what will make iowa famous, thanks to the onion radio news. click here.)

my most recent preggo photo

yikes, i realized it has been a LONG. TIME. since i've blogged. stuff has been crazycrazy around here! in fact it was so crazy that todd and i decided to take a little break/vacation. my parents came up for the weekend and stayed with atticus, and todd and i drove down to des moines to spend some one-on-one time relaxing and eating ourselves silly.

friday night we got dressed up and went to johnny's italian steakhouse. two words: zucchini fries. three more words: parmesan-crusted steak. holy moly.

before leaving for johnny's

after having just discussed the fact that neither of us had witnessed a real-life fight, we saw one. at johnny's expensive steakhouse. not at a bar. not at a hockey game. not at all what i thought it would be (considering that my main exposure to fights has been episodes of Lost - lots of blood and punches and dialogue about why exactly everyone's mad). in real-life, though, it was more of a grown-man bear hug with a lot of f-bombs thrown around by one of the hugging guys' girlfriends. i didn't realize that it wasn't someone having a heart attack until after the fight was over. not very hollywood.

after dinner we drove to our hotel...and drove...and drove a little more....further and further into what todd likes to call "the real des moines." finding ourselves in a very industrial (yet simultaneously residential...ahh, real des moines) area, i was getting a little nervous about the neighborhood our hotel was in. we finally got there (without being hijacked, i might add with a sigh of relief)...and todd pointed out that the big advertising sign above the building said "what up. low rates." um...

luckily, the hotel wasn't nearly as podunk on the inside (although the guy behind the desk's broken arm suggested that he had also found himself at johnny's recently) and it turned out to be really nice!

saturday we tried to go to the army surplus store to look for wool blankets, got lost, and found ourselves at gordman's. which, if you're looking for any kind of lingerie - animal prints, anything 44DD, men's thongs, lingerie for babies - gordman's on army post road is the place for you. while todd found no sparkly men's thongs that struck his fancy, we did have a good laugh over the cartoonish-ly sized ceiling fans and the fact that the entire "business casual" section was made by South Pole. classy.

after gordman's, we actually found the army surplus store. the second we walked in the door i realized that not all patrons of said establishment were looking for thrifty home decor, but most were in all likelihood preparing themselves for armageddon. then suddenly, to make a hair-triggered atmosphere thicker, there was a breach of security. a couple of russians came in, speaking really quickly, angrily, and urgently. now call me old-fashioned, but finding myself in a military surplus store...around a bunch of weapons...and in the company of what i could only assume were very intense pinkos...well, let's just say we booked it out of there with visions of fall-out shelter blueprints in our heads.

todd quickly trying on a gas mask before being seen by -
and offending - any fellow shoppers

...on the edge of your seat to find out whether we were blown to smithereens by an atomic bomb?! exhale and don't miss the next installment of 'all my van voorsts.' (btw, we weren't killed by an atom bomb...hence this blog.)


Mark said...

I've never been to an army surplus store. It sounds interesting. Did you end up buying anything?


whenjeskasparks said...

holy crap! you're really pregnant! man, i miss so much of your life. :(

hey, i'm coming into town the weekend of the 19th. can we hang out?

YAYA said...

Todd's photo looks like he just stepped out of the Cantina in StarWars IV. Love it!