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It has been a full couple of weeks.  School has been running smoothly, but it makes for very full days, which I'm still getting accustomed to.  I don't love having every second of every day dictated by a schedule, so that has worn me down.  Although, I did wait until yesterday to come completely unhinged by it, so in a weird way, that's a win.  I mean, I held it together for two full weeks.  That's progress, friendo.  That's growth.  However, I'm going to need to figure out a way to protect some QuietIntrovertSilentFunTime each day, or we're in for a pretty rough ride.

In addition, Connection Group has started up, and Anthem's soft launch was last night.  It's really exciting to see this thing we've been working toward finally get off the ground, but it comes with the knowledge that things are probably about to get really busy and really difficult. 

I think one of the hardest things about the pace of life over the last few years has been trying to achieve balance.  I need a lot of alone time and a lot of sleep in order to function like a decent, non-mutant human being, but I also have kids to raise, and teach, and enjoy the heck out of.  So... balance.  And I (have grown to) love ministry and having people in my home, but I'm also a deeply sweatpanted hermit with one million kids.  So... balance.  And we have moved to Missouri, where the homeschool laws are a pain in the tuckus, but I don't want to make our whole life revolve around school at the expense of our, well, whole life.  So... balance?  Maybe?  Hopefully?

I think yesterday's mental breakdown, and last night's soft launch, came with the sobering realization that this is it: this is where it gets difficult.  We will walk through trials.  We will make mistakes.  We will come unglued.  The straw that breaks the camel's back in this season will end up being a kid who put so many carrots in their mouth that they can't swallow any of the chewed up carrot-bits, or something equally ridiculous, and we will feel certain that we can't do any of this. 

It is coming.  We are not naïve this time.  We are standing on the porch in the middle of the tornado, and we already know what it will feel like when it hits us.  And maybe we're just idiots who should be hunkering down and hiding from the storm.  But maybe we'll know something more about awe and miracles and provision and faithfulness because we're willing to stand on the porch.

I don't know.  Maybe it's just the idiot thing.

1 comment :

todd said...

spiritual storm chasers