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the case of the 'lost' (read: 'lifted') phone.

Did I tell you guys that I lost my phone before we left Cedar Falls?  Maybe I just said it on Facebook, I don't know.  (All these social web blog site apps are the same to me at a certain point.  Too darn confuddling.  Please excuse me while I take a moment to curmudgeon.)

Anyway, I lost my phone three weeks ago.  I had been talking on the phone with my sister back in our Cedar Falls house.  I set my phone down to eat dinner and then... it just vanished.  It turned itself off, so I couldn't find it by calling it.  It has not shown up in any of our boxes as we've been unpacking.  One of two things must've realistically happened to it: 1) it accidentally got thrown away for some reason, or 2) ghosts.

I mean, it was probably just a case of accidentally throwing it away.  I mean, I'm like 95% sure.  90%.

There's an 80/20 probability.

I mean, ghosts would really only be the culprit like 50% of the time.

But really, now that I think about it statistically, it was probably ghosts.  It's just a case of simple math.


What the heck does a ghost want a phone for?  Don't ask me.  Call the ghost and ask him.  Good luck getting anything out of him, though.  I'm guessing he's not all that chatty, so maybe he just stripped the phone for parts.  If there are fifteen thousand parts in a penny phone, each part is worth... wait... no, he's probably just using it to text his ghost girlfriend.  (HIS GHOULFRIEND. A-HARHAR.)  See?  Simple math really helps a person's deductive reasoning skills.  (Maybe not their 'jokes' skills, though.)

HOLY COW; ANYWAY.

Short story long, I got a new phone yesterday.  We had to purchase it on craigslist for ten bucks.  What is this world coming to when an ancient, used phone costs literally a thousand times what it did new?  But whatever, I'm now once again instated as a card-carrying phone carrier.  It feels good.  Now to just brush the dust off my texting thumbs, and I should be right as rain.

6 comments :

YAYA said...

Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!

Unknown said...

I'll bet Gorloch took it!

todd said...

More like, "How ya gonna call Ghostbusters?"

paige said...

Mom - I'll call Ghostbusters as soon as I get my phone back... that ghost really knows how to immobilize a girl.

paige said...

Mike - I bet you're right. How did I not figure that out?!

paige said...

Husband - Touche, honkey.