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if an oak-clad dishwasher falls in the forest, how will i assuage my grief?!

well, i believe it's official.  old oaky has fallen.

you know, old oaky.  don't tell me you don't remember old oaky?!



how has this image not burned itself in your brain over the past year?  how do you not fall asleep with it swimming before your eyes?  OLD OAKY, YOU GUYS!

let's just move on, assuming you remember, but only vaguely, so i'll freshen your memory.  old oaky is the 1994 dishwasher, paneled in genuine, solid oak, that came with our house.  he got a makeover when i painted the cabinets, but he was still as sturdy and solid and honey-colored as ever under all that greasepaint.

considering he was twenty years old and still running as smoothly as a college track athlete the same age, i figured he was immortal.  i mean, i really kind of did.  but i was wrong.  very wrong.  

the day before we left on vacation (oh yeah, we've been on vacation.  i'll tell you about that later, but first things first.  we're talking about a death in the family, and the story of how i fell six inches off a tiny rock and re-sprained my ankle and just would not stop screaming about it will just have to wait.)...whoops, where did my original sentence go? oh yeah.  the day before we left on vacation, i ran a load of dishes.  and then i emptied it and tried to start another load.  and old oaky would not rumble.  he would not rouse.  he would not harumph his way awake.  he had passed over to the beyond in silence and aloneness with nary a complaint or final word.

i must say, we're all still in shock.  i mean, after all, he was as ancient and sturdy as, well, the oak tree that died to give him life.  one just never sees things like this coming.

in the meantime, we're doing our best to soldier on.  we're washing dishes by hand, and ordering takeout to avoid cooking, and reminiscing about all the ways his rusty old racks and downright wasteful water consumption got the dishes cleaner than any of my previous dishwashers combined.  Quiet Partner he was not, on decibel level alone, but he sure knew how to beat the younger models at their own game.  (you know, washing dishes.  i realize this is a tangent, but is it really too much to expect a dishwasher to wash dishes?  this good-for-nothing younger generation of appliances is just so lazy.)

anyway, we'll miss you, old oaky.  i like to imagine you're somewhere in the beyond right now, turning your heavily-grained face to the sun, and wasting all the water your ancient jets desire.  you lived a good life, buddy, and you will be missed.

1 comment :

todd said...

Luckily, he’s basically already a coffin, so wherever he ends up it is essentially a proper burial.