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bittersweet, but good.



so, we did it.  we moved laurelai to formula.  or, mostly, anyway.

she had a check up last week, at eight-and-a-half months, and she weighed 12 lb 8 oz.  the doctor was really respectful about the whole thing, but really encouraged us to move her to a concentrated-calorie formula.  and maybe this is something i should feel guilty to admit (and i do, a little), but it was kind of a relief to have that decision made for us by an outside source.  laurelai still wasn't sleeping through the night - waking up at least twice most nights, actually - and i'm tired.  and i've been nursing forever, it feels like.  i did the math last night, and i've spent nearly three of the last five years nursing.  i feel ready for a bit of a break, you know?  and, i get that this is totally self-seeking, but i'm ready to start losing some weight in clean conscience, knowing that it's not going to affect how much she's getting.

it's sad though, and i'm still nursing at least twice a day, since i can't really wrap my head around quitting cold-turkey.  the snuggle time is hard to let go of, when she spends time just staring at me and rubbing my face.  plus, i'm just going to shoot you straight, quitting just-like-that kind of sucks.  it hurts, and i end up leaking milk everywhere, and the last thing i need right now is one more reason to be covered in bodily fluids throughout the day.

so anyway.  we've been at it for a little under a week now, and the transition has been smooth.  she's taking a bottle well, and eating about three ounces every three to four hours.  she started sleeping through the night right away, and i'm feeling a bit more freedom from the tiny-infant stage.

bittersweet, but good.

4 comments :

the jersk. said...

aw. hugs. well good for you. :) peace of mind and peace of heart are often not found at the same time, but i'm glad that you both will be getting what you need. and good on you for doing it for as long as you could! that's still great. get some of that good sleep ('cause that still exists somewhere after kids, right?) and hang up your duggar-esque apron for the time being. :)

todd said...

You’re doing a great job.

realifemotherhood said...

I've been right where you are and it is tough. But you are doing a great job and after three years of a baby on the boob, I think it is okay to say adios!

(PS - I try to comment all the time but for whatever reason blogs hate me trying to comment.)

The Crislers said...

When Adelaide was seven months old, she got sick, and Friday night we took her to the ER because she seemed so dehydrated and the doc's office was closed til Monday.

We happened to have an awesome doc, who asked some non-sickness related questions, like how often she was nursing and what not, and when I said she was still waking up multiple times a night to nurse, he said, "Can I give you some advice? I don't want you to think I'm patronizing you or anything, because you seem like good parents, but the truth is, your baby doesn't need to be eating in the middle of the night. She's at a healthy weight and is not physically hungry- she just wants the comfort and it's a habit. Push her supper back a bit if it makes you feel less guilty, but her body does not need food in the middle of the night at this point." It was a HUGE relief to have permission from someone (a doctor and fellow parent) to just make a decision already; I'd devoted way too much angst to that issue at that point. So I totally get the guilt and relief on having a decision made for you.