okay, wowzers. it's thursday. and i swear i'm not dead.
what can i say? it's been like 70 degrees outside, and penelope had the flu, and once she was over it, i hauled all the kids to lowes. so i haven't had much time to blog because, you know, life.
but as i've been going about my days, i've been noodling. mulling. i get lost in my own head sometimes, because i'm the only adult that i have to talk to most of the time. i suppose it's good that i still have a grown-up friend even when my only company is the kids, but i also suppose that it's bad that i'm my only grown-up friend sometimes. that just sounds about the pathetic-est.
anyway, i (we) thought i'd (we'd) let you in on my (our) thoughts:
* yall, i'm still so not okay with how i look. why is it so hard to just buck up and believe that my worth isn't found in that? why am i constantly comparing and belittling and accusing myself? i have no answers for you.
* garden and springtime and a shiny new spade! bags of manure on my driveway! finneas eating whole packets of nasturtium seeds! let's do a 'die-winter-die' dance! with some tap shoes on!
* i have the best friends. i am blown away by the care you people show me. i am so loved and cared for and undeserving since i never call anyone on the phone since i'm a hermit.
* i really am getting dangerously hermit-like. as in like, hoodie-hood-up, chewing-my-own-hair, moss-growing-on-my-teeth hermity. i leave the house for church on sunday...and then i leave the house for church the next sunday. and even when i get the opportunity in the middle of the week, i don't feel like leaving. what's wrong with me?
* john adams was the rockin'est, except for when he got all depressed and stopped writing to abigail for a while even though he was in europe and getting malaria, and she was home all by herself and running the farm and having a stillbirth and everything. gotta say, that was kind of a d-bag thing to do. but other than that, he really was the rockin' colossus of rockin' independence.
* i think i need to update my slang. i'm starting to remind myself of Mr. Batty, Balding History Teacher to the Stars.
so. that's what we think about that.