I'M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. and stuff's about to get weird.

okay, wowzers.  it's thursday.  and i swear i'm not dead.

what can i say?  it's been like 70 degrees outside, and penelope had the flu, and once she was over it, i hauled all the kids to lowes.  so i haven't had much time to blog because, you know, life.

but as i've been going about my days, i've been noodling.  mulling.  i get lost in my own head sometimes, because i'm the only adult that i have to talk to most of the time.  i suppose it's good that i still have a grown-up friend even when my only company is the kids, but i also suppose that it's bad that i'm my only grown-up friend sometimes.  that just sounds about the pathetic-est.

anyway, i (we) thought i'd (we'd) let you in on my (our) thoughts:

* yall, i'm still so not okay with how i look.  why is it so hard to just buck up and believe that my worth isn't found in that?  why am i constantly comparing and belittling and accusing myself?  i have no answers for you. 

* garden and springtime and a shiny new spade!  bags of manure on my driveway! finneas eating whole packets of nasturtium seeds!  let's do a 'die-winter-die' dance!  with some tap shoes on!

* i have the best friends.  i am blown away by the care you people show me.  i am so loved and cared for and undeserving since i never call anyone on the phone since i'm a hermit. 

* i really am getting dangerously hermit-like.  as in like, hoodie-hood-up, chewing-my-own-hair, moss-growing-on-my-teeth hermity.  i leave the house for church on sunday...and then i leave the house for church the next sunday.  and even when i get the opportunity in the middle of the week, i don't feel like leaving.  what's wrong with me?

* john adams was the rockin'est, except for when he got all depressed and stopped writing to abigail for a while even though he was in europe and getting malaria, and she was home all by herself and running the farm and having a stillbirth and everything.  gotta say, that was kind of a d-bag thing to do.  but other than that, he really was the rockin' colossus of rockin' independence. 

* i think i need to update my slang.  i'm starting to remind myself of Mr. Batty, Balding History Teacher to the Stars.

so.  that's what we think about that.


the jersk. said...

oh, mr. batty. good times. but i am glad you're alive. my goal tomorrow is to call you. let's see how i do. <3

todd said...

Your alter ego should also get a blog.