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holly jolly hobby lobby.

recently, i was telling a friend about how overwhelmed i feel at times, and how i feel like my days/weeks/months are just a repeat of the same dumb day/week/month before.  she recommended i get out of the house more, which i don't do because coats and boots and hats and diaper changes and nap schedules and whiny kids and cold weather and a coat pocket full of bribe-y graham cracker crumbs and all that.  but she told me to try it, and try it i did.

so yesterday we went to hobby lobby, where that hymns-on-piano cd playing over the loudspeaker can lull you into lazy comfortability.  but you have to be on your A-game to visit hobby lobby with kids in tow, because the carts are tiny and the breakables all look like toys and are at preschooler-eyeball level.

i went to pick up supplies to make a stocking for laurelai, a wreath for our front door (i had planned to be on top of seasonal porch decor, but i still have a sad, snow-covered hay bale out there right now), and a pack of command hooks.  i came home with supplies for laurelai's stocking, a plaster bust, some superglue, and some curtain rings that i accidentally shoplifted because they ended up under finneas' hat in the cart at checkout.  and that sums up a trip to hobby lobby with the kids.

also? as i was walking through the store, i kept getting a whiff of some shopper with some serious B.O.  i was all, wow...that's pungent.  then i was all, who is that coming from?  then i was all, oh, it turns out i'm the smelliest shopper.

yes, friends, that horrible smell was wafting through my shirt, through my heavy cable-knit sweater, and through my wool coat.  and when i didn't think it could be any worse, i got home and took off all those layers and realized i had huge, dried breastmilk stains on my bottom-most shirt layer.

thank goodness the kids were relative angels in the store, because otherwise i would have ended up praying for the apocolypse, or at least a heart attack, to get me out of having to make it out of public on my own.  and if i had gotten that wish, i would have been ushered into either heaven or the emergency room with those nasty stains all fresh on my clothing and that rancid scent radiating off of me, and i just don't know that i want to end things that way.  i like to think that, if the rapture doesn't happen in my lifetime, that i will die laying on a bed of rose petals in a meadow, with a lily in my gracefully folded hands and a euphoric look on my face.  my hair all did and everrrthang.  not all smelly and stained and laying on the linoleum under the 50% off signs at hobby lobby.

so merry christmas to me! i didn't die or get sniffed by an emt! and sometimes that's all you can ask for.

2 comments :

todd said...

I am always asking NOT to be sniffed by an EMT.

Always.

lauren said...

the smelly thing happens to me sometimes. and I don't have an excuse other than the "50% off everything all the time!" signs give me an adrenaline rush.