(repost from here.)
should you ever happen to be greeted by a beetle the rough size of a matchbox
car, here are some pointers:
1. do NOT slam the window closed, trapping
it between the window and the glass, and run away being all,
ohmywordohmywordewewewewSICK. this will make the beetle think it has the upper
2. do NOT spend a short moment praying that the beetle eats some of
the scaly lead paint off your windowsill and die a long, painful, but hands-off
death. beetles do not have any natural interest in lead paint consumption; your
prayer will therefore likely receive a resounding answer of NO, and your faith
might be a little shaken. and you'll need it full-strength at a moment like
3. do NOT rummage through the toy bins, find a matchbox car (no,
not that one, it's not a very pretty color. pick the teal one.), and grab your
camera for a fun-slash-terrifying 'proof of scale' photo sesh. this will make
the beetle think he is liked and welcomed. false.
4. DO close the
window quickly when you realize the beetle is about to hop aboard the matchbox
car and get all Stuart Little and drive around your house. pretty soon he will
be demanding an outfit, probably including some kind of kicky beret and a
driving scarf, and you don't need to indenture yourself to a beetle. this is
your house, after all. even though, in the beetle's defense, you are
acting like a girl baby.
5. DO leave the beetle in there to problem
solve how to get out, or fear the wrath that is your husband's shoe (when your
husband gets home to squash it, of course. you should not trifle with doing the
dirty work yourself). it's like a horror movie plotline for the beetle.
that'll teach him to ever think he had the upper
you're brave. you're at least twice the size of this beetle.
you are armed with my handy tips. YOU CAN DO THIS.