(repost from my newborn days with finneas. still seems entirely fitting.)
everybody says davinci was a genius because he invented the scissors. and also
because of a lot of the other genuis-y stuff he managed to do. but i read
somewhere legitimate that he only slept like two hours at a time.
really makes me think that, as a mother of a newborn, i'm probably just as
brilliant as davinci simply because 'brilliant' is often interchangeable with
'crazy,' and if this is how much sleep davinci got on a regular basis, i'm
pretty sure he was just crazy sometimes. at my current level of sleep, i could
totally see myself saying things like, 'next time we go to war, let's build a
giant spoon on wheels and hurl stuff at the infidels with it. plan of attack:
owned,' and 'okay, so see these two knives? let's tie them together so we get
the cutting power of two knives with the physical exertion of
one knife. what should we call it? sizzers. no, wait. scissors.
but it will be pronounced the same. i just really like the look of the
letter c but the 'kk'-sound can kiss my butt.'
pretty sure i could paint the mona lisa. but maybe that's just because i have
an unfoundedly high level of self assurance.