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the lonely non-mormon on my porch.

on friday morning, i was up before the kids, trying to get my blog posted for the day.  i heard a banging sound, which i assumed was the kids messing around in their room, so i ignored it.  then i heard it again, and it turns out it was someone knocking on the front door.

our living room has a HUGE front window, so the guy could totally see me just sitting there, all dissheveled and just-woke-up looking: you know, hair akimbo, no appropriate undergarments, retainer still in.  but he saw me sitting there, so i couldn't just ignore him and go on innocently and bra-lessly with my blog posting.

so i grabbed a blanket to wrap around myself (which we all know is a farce, since it was already pushing 80* out; that guy wasn't fooled), removed my retainer and made my way to the door.  the guy was politely looking away, and i was trying to judge what his business on my porch might be: financial planner? no, his polo has some kind of sports-looking patch on it.  which also rules out mormon, because he's by himself (it's never just a mor-man on your porch, it's always mor-men) and i'm pretty sure mormons don't wear sporty polos (or livestrong bracelets) while proselytizing.  or maybe they do; i've never answered the door to a mormon before so how would i know?

so, i stepped out on the porch, got about three feet from the guy, thought about my weird christmas blanket robe and my crazy hair and the fact that i was still holding my retainer...and was all, 'i can't do this.' so i waited for him to look away...and went back in my house without saying a word while he wasn't looking. 

i think i have the market cornered on how to lose a beauty pageant.

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