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in case you were wondering what i thought of pushing a person out of my cooter.

i have never been a 'natural birth' girl, as surprising as that may seem (or not, i don't know what you assume about me).  i kind of surprise myself sometimes.  i also microwave frozen vegetables, often in a plastic bowl, if i'm being entirely honest.  i'm nothing if not hypocritical a veritable mystery.

anyway.  natural birth.

from as early on as i can remember i have always been 100% sold on having an epidural.  i remember a friend telling me 'don't be a hero, get the drugs,' and thinking, 'yeah, that's about right.  a hero i will not be.'

with atticus, everything went so smoothly - the epidural was basically my magical new best friend.  i spent much of my labor laughing and joking with the nurse in between pushes.  at discharge, a nurse sarcastically asked if i was ready to have another baby yet.  i was like, that wouldn't be horrible actually.  (it didn't hurt that the hospital food was basically manna and a surge of post-labor hormones had me bawling about how perfect atticus was.  our hospital basically felt like a 5-star hotel where they also gave you legal drugs and sent you home with your very own lifelike doll.  A+.)

so i went into my birth with penelope overly confident that 'this is how my body labors' and 'this is how the epidural will work.'  FAIL.  the epidural caused my blood pressure to drop dramatically, which meant that they not only stopped giving it to me but my drop in blood pressure left me incredibly confused and woozy and panicked.  so the epidural was highly effective at making my toes tingle, but at absolutely nothing else, pain-wise.  which had major implications in the midst of childbirth.  it was absolute chaos.

so this time around i'm facing a major decision.  i'm still 100% in love with effective epidurals, but now i'm 100% skeptical that i can count on them actually being effective.  so...why go through the extra expense and pain and dashed hope of having an epidural administered but then not having it work?  not to mention the side effects (lowered blood pressure, an EXTREMELY itchy face as i experienced in my labor with atticus)...

but i'm a pansy.  a regular frenchy.  i have no tolerance for pain and really have no desire to feel anything resembling labor (or a stubbed toe, for that matter).  so i'm not ready to jump into a decision to do a natural birth.

so i'm reading reading reading reading.  (there is some CRAZY crap out there - orgasmic birth? no thanks.)  and trying to make a good decision.  and while i NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS EVER thought i would even entertain the thought of a natural birth, i am finding myself at least...curious.  tolerant of the idea.  just not sold.

so it will be interesting to see how this all plays out.  anyone go drug-free and find out everyone was lying about labor and it actually feels like taking a vanilla-scented bath by candlelight?  anyone?  (please keep orgasmic birth stories to yourself, please and thanks.)

4 comments :

YAYA said...

With you... demoral. With your sister, entirely sans-med. Had there been a third, it too, would have entered this world drug-free. No doubt about it.

Allison said...

Even though I wasn't able to get the full epidural last time either...I am still going to try and get it! Who knows, maybe it will work this time around! I really don't want to experience that ring of fire (chills!!!)!

The Crislers said...

I had an AWESOME anesthesiologist my second time around, and she made it so that the pain was dramatically lessened (although not gone entirely), but I could still feel to push. With babies #1 and #3, I had some weird side effects. I loooove epidurals, but can totally understand why women decide to do without. So basically this comment was thoroughly unhelpful. Good luck either way!

realifemotherhood said...

I went into labor with Eden thinking I could do this without medication but as soon as I experienced my first contraction (I was 7cm) I was literally left clinging to my bed thinking I was dying. I asked for an epidural with each child! But my body likes to birth babies too quickly to get one and that has made me cry every single time. But I always try and remind myself during the painful part that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It doesn't really help with the pain that I think will never end but it at least helps me pass the contraction without hyperventilating (I HATE pain with a passion).

And I have some super nice OBs who like to dish out the meds if I like after baby is born (within reason)...percocet was my friend after Cooper and Ella...great stuff (and I only needed it once)!

I have no real advice, other than each labor is different. And you can always try an epidural again or ask for something else if there is anything available. Praying for a smooth delivery of baby boy and that you are able to make the best decision for you!