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celebreality monday.

i hate cooking.

there, i said it.  and i'll say it again, and use bold and italicized font:  i hate cooking.

and to be entirely honest, i am flabbergasted (YES! i have now used that word once in 2011) when moms say they like cooking.  because i just think of the mess and the tedium and the time and the mess and the toddler 'help' that is really highly unhelpful, and all for what? i'm not a good cook, so i just wasted a bunch of time and effort making some from-scratch equivalent of spam, where you know you won't starve to death if you eat it but you'd really prefer to eat anything else than what's currently in your mouth.

so i do it because i love my family.  and i do it because i would personally die of starvation if i didn't and my self-survival instinct seems to be in the average range.  but i will just say that if you ever try to have a conversation with me about how calming food preparation is, i will probably smile and nod and pretend you're talking about watching TV or petting a bunny or something else that is actually calming.

and there's a little part of me that feels guilty about this (and not just because i'm not paying attention to you when you talk).  in fact, i would love to be a mom who loves my kids with food, and who has an instinct regarding whether such-and-such dish needs a dash of sage to really make it some kind of culinary explosion.  and i would like to not make my smoke detectors go off so much, because it really scares my kids.  also, i would personally like to eat something that tasted better than the concoctions i devise.  (i will not say definitively whether or not i made pumpkin-coconut milk-jalapeno soup once.  but i probably did.  and it was most likely disgusting.)

so i peruse the recipe section of better homes and gardens and i humor myself by pretending if i just watch one more episode of the barefoot contessa i will be able to host delicious and beatific luncheons.  but then 4:30 pm rolls around and i decide once again that it's spaghetti night because a) it's cheap, b) it only dirties two pans and c) it's a matter of turning on the stove and waiting 15 minutes.   cheap, easy and quick? not to be a dirtbag or anything, but that's how i think these things should be.

so this is who i am.  and i'm not running away from it any longer.  anyone else with me?

4 comments :

todd said...

Thank you for your hard work in planning, purchasing, preparing, and processing (ok, I mean "cooking" but the "p" thing was addictive) our meals. You do a great job. You rarely complain about this to me and I know you hate it. Thank you my wife. I could not do this without you!

Sarah said...

YAY!!! I'm not the only cooking hater! I seem to be surrounded by mamas who do love cooking.

for the record. we're having pasta tonight. :)

todd said...

I've been looking at this all Tuesday! Post please. I love getting caught up on our lives :)

The Crislers said...

Hahaha! I love Todd's comment. Derek says the same kind of thing: "Hmmm, I didn't know Caedmon was singing now. Good thing I read the blog."