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i should become a scientist.

a while ago, we had a tree frog sitting on our window. not on our windowsill. our window.

so from the inside, you could see his little frog belly and what i can only assume were his her little frog parts. which i can only assume because i'm not well-versed in frog reproductive health.

so then i'm all, this is weird. that frog is suctioned to glass. vertically. it defies gravity. nay, it defies nature in its entirety.

so i laid it upon myself to figure out the science behind how a tree frog does this. (maybe someone else has attempted to explain it before; i don't know, i didn't check. encyclopedias are for nerds. real smarties use their own brains.) and here is what i came up with:

i think god has to lick all the tree frogs every day to keep them sticky. like when you have to lick a spoon to stick it to your nose. and it really gave me a profound perspective on god, because that kind of job takes a lot of patience and a lot of spit and a lot of tolerance for the taste of raw frog. but that's how much god loves the tree frogs.

marinate on that little nugget for a while.

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