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a note from the neighbor

dear Woman Who Walks Her Cat on a Leash:  you are a classy lady.  with a classy cat.  i bet you feed it fancy feast.  out of a crystal goblet.  off your own fork.

dear DJ Second-Floor: i'm loving the 'country' atmosphere you bring to our urban space.  i never really liked country music a ton before, but i think the problem was i wasn't listening to it turned up loudly enough.  i bet your downstairs neighbors love you.  i bet you drink hillbilly holler.  lots of hillbilly holler.

dear Guy and Friends Who Pee Behind the Dumpster:  while i do love wondering whether i'm walking in your urine as i'm throwing away my trash, and the occasional eye contact we make when we both have business to take care of at the dumpsters at the same time, i'm thinking your services might be more appreciated elsewhere. like behind the garages along the public walking trail where they might need some weed management.  or i hear your toilet is getting mighty lonely.  i know your apartment seems far away when you've imbibed more than you can hold while standing in the parking lot in the middle of the afternoon, and i get it; i do.  i'm just suggesting the possibility of maybe not whipping it out around women and children.  something to noodle on.

sincerely,

Woman With Screaming Babies and a Car Alarm That Won't Quit

1 comment :

Team Dewhurst said...

Haha!! I actually saw the classy cat on a leash lady when we were leaving your place Tuesday. I couldn't see the cat at first and told the kids to look cause there was a dog... then we got closer and realized it was a cat and the kids just looked puzzled and I was speachless... we haven't spoken of the incident since ;-)